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VIBING WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS
"What happened to not letting me travel with 3 broken ribs?" You asked as you attempted to grab your luggage off of the pick-up section.
Reki and Langa had been anxious the entire way back. After losing a sibling you were way too cheery.
The reason? You didn't know another except joking about your pain. It was that or ignoring it. You merely chose the former one.
Though you thought you were in perfect condition, your friends say otherwise. Reki took it upon himself to pay for the cab ride to the morgue. You became visibly more anxious as the car got closer. Your leg bounced. Your lips on the verge of bleeding from how hard you were pressing your teeth into them.
"We're here," Langa whispered, shaking your shoulder slightly to snap you out of your thoughts.
"Oh. Uh, yeah. Thanks..." You mumbled and got out of the car. Just like every other time, Reki and Langa stood by your side. The only difference now was that both of them held either of your hands in defence of anyone or any ill feelings you may not want. Which was certain to happen.
Your feet felt heavy with every step you took. You hated this feeling. This feeling of being empty. Of hatred of her leaving you. Of sadness for her leaving.
Before you realized it the mortician was already pulling the white blanket off of her face. You looked at her pale face and realized something. It was not only the sick feeling of knowing that she was dead but you felt sick because there was no change.
She had been sitting still like this for years. Where was the change? There weren't any tubes connected to her anymore? That she wasn't in pain anymore? That truly made you feel sick to the stomach.
"I-I'm leaving..."
The person in charge of her arrangements nodded silently and draped the blanket back over her corpse. Reki pushed the door open for the both of them while Langa held his head low. He was an only child. He didn't know the feeling of losing a sibling.
Yes, he had lost his father but you and Reki helped him get through his loss by just being yourselves. Now, he, nor Reki, knew what to do except be there for you if you needed.
This time Langa drove the car and Reki sat in the backseat with you. Silently, you rested your head on Reki's shoulder and squeezed the tears out until there were none left to fall.
◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥
Langa drove to his house to drop you off with his mom but you objected and told him to drive to the nearby park. He obliged and it wasn't even 2 minutes until you opened the car door and walked to the skate park.
It felt so familiar yet unknown.
"Is there something you wanted to do here?" Langa asked, sitting down next to you. Reki did the same.
"I'm going to be honest right now." You started while putting your face in your palms. "I have a lot of shit to do now and I can't keep up."
"We're here to help." Reki whispered while putting a hand on your shoulder but you simply shook him off.
"That's the problem. Before I make this decision I need to ask you a question. It's simple and I need you to answer truthfully." You said and turned to him. He nodded hesitantly. "Who do you love?"
There was only silence.
"Wha - " He laughed nervously. "What are you talking about? Don't ask me that!"
"Reki," You started once more. "Who do you love?"
"I said don't ask!" He shouted, getting up from his spot and looking down at you. He hated seeing the emptiness in your eyes. "Because..."
"Because I know the answer." You sighed and got up from your seat as well. "I can't keep doing this."
"Doing what?" Langa asked. You almost felt bad for they boy. He got caught up in your crush and even ended up making you fall in love with him too.
"I'm moving back to Canada." You stated. Without giving them any time to think about it you were already walking away.
"Why?!" Reki exclaimed. You turned back from your spot a few feet away. "Why are you running away from us?!"
"I'm not running away. I'm moving on."
"You can't move on." Langa interrupted. "You can't move on without us." He looked up to meet your gaze and you raised an amused brow.
Stop pushing them away.
"No offense, but I don't think you understand." You laughed dryly and kept walking.
Stop being an asshole. They're just trying to help.
"I don't need to understand to know that I want to be with you! I want to be with both of you! Always! Until the day I die!"
There was more silence.
Neither of you knew what to say.
Langa didn't know what he was saying.
He didn't realize what he meant.
He couldn't.
"We'll follow you until the ends of the Earth if that's what it takes, y/n." The blue-haired boy continued. You turned around for the last time and gripped the neck of his shirt.
"I was wrong." Reki spoke up but you didn't tear your gaze from the boy in front of you. "You don't know what my answer was..."
"Stop, Reki."
"I can't tell you who I love because I don't love one person. I can't choose between you and Langa because I love you both." A soft sigh escaped his mouth as he came up between you and Langa, separating the two of you. "I was scared and to be honest I still kinda am."
"You're not helping your case." You deadpanned and he laughed nervously.
"I have no idea how this is going to work but I want to be there with you. I want to go on more trips with you. You have no idea how much I want to go back to Tim Hortons. I want to make more snow angels with you guys. Please, don't leave." He begged. You could see tears brimming his eyes and you quickly wiped them away.
"I can't ask you to go into poly relationship with me—"
"Then we'll do it." Langa interrupted. They both turned to him with quizzical expressions. "Reki, will you be my boyfriend?"
The shit-eating grin on Reki's face was unmistakable as he answered his best friend. "Of course I will!"
"You guys can stop joking now." You deadpanned and now Langa turned to you.
"Y/n, will you be our boyfriend?" Langa asked as Reki hooked his arm around the boy. You looked between the two of them for any sign of deceiving. They were entirely genuine.
Brushing away the urge to hug them and shout your answer you rolled your eyes dramatically and sighed. "If you really want—"
"I knew it!" Reki shouted. He grabbed you by the waist and threw you to the floor (which was not the best option in your opinion) with him ontop of you. His lips swiftly collided with your own, savoring the thing he's wanted to do for weeks.
Langa's lips pursed and he joined the two of you on the ground. He planted a soft kiss on your cheek but you weren't quite satisfied with that. You turned away from Reki and kissed Langa gently. It took him a second to respond but eventually he did and he was so happy.
"I could get used to this." You spoke quietly and they laughed.
"Ok, so... I don't wanna ruin a moment or anything—"
"Then don't ruin it." You said with a blank stare but he ignored you.
"I haven't skated in like a week and I think I'm getting withdrawal symptoms—"
"I'm going to kill you."
"Please don't."
"Don't worry Reki. I'll hold him back." Langa said with full confidence.
"Well if you're going to skate I may as well come with you." You started walking away and to the bag you carried on the plane. The zip quickly made its way to the bottom, revealing the multicoloured skateboard your sister used to use.
"We?!" Reki and Langa yelled in unison.
"Of course. I won't let you idiots skate by yourselves anymore if I can help it." As you set yourself up on the board you couldn't see the grin on both their faces. Without them noticing, you skated in front of their bodies and kissed both their cheeks. "You ready?"
"Always."
idk if i should love or hate this but I'm publishing it anyway
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AND I AM ASKING VERY LOUDLY THAT YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE TELL ME ANY FEEDBACK :)))
