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Chapter Four

"You've stopped doing your assignments Charlee. This isn't like you. You've been ignoring me all week. We had made so much progress and you've completely reverted all of it." I looked at the blonde woman who had pushed me to do so many things to better myself.

"I'm trying."

"I'm going to be blunt with you. You aren't trying. Because I know what you trying looks like and this isn't it." She tossed my notebook titled therapy on her desk. "The last day of school before break is the last day you tried. Now tell me what happened."

"It would be easier to tell you what didn't happen." I sighed, defeated. "Pierce told the world about our past without asking me. That in turn ruined his relationship with Ally, ruined my relationship with Gray, Pierce and Reece. It's like every time I breathe some other hell appears. I can't get away from the hell that is my life. I'm trying so hard to just live a normal life but it all just keeps crumbling with every step I try and take. So, I've shut off from everyone because if I shut off no one else gets hurt. It's the only way."

"It's not the only way Charlee you know this." My therapist went on about how I deserved a good life just as much as the next person. Life has its ups and downs and sometimes things just aren't going the right way, but eventually they will. Life is a rollercoaster and we just have to learn to accept what comes our way.

"I just want Pierce and my siblings and I can have that now. It's what he wants but I still don't feel like it's right. Everything was just so wrong. I hated how he just sat up there hurting everyone looking like he had no remorse. Like I can tell that he still loves Ally. How can he hurt her like that? Embarrass her in front of the entire school?"

"Boys, especially at your age, don't think in the smartest of ways. They only think about themselves sometimes and think what they have in their heads is the only way. You are smart Charlee. You know how to navigate life better than most people your age. You had to grow up fast. You are wise upon your years. You've got this Charlee. Live how you want to but don't stress yourself to the max in the process."

"I know. I just want to be happy again. I want both Grayson and Pierce in my life and I'm just trying to get there. But I need to reason with myself in my head and that's hard."

The rest of the therapy session went well. It was the first time I had opened up with her since I've been on winter break. I had been closed off with her every day not letting her get into my brain the first few sessions. But after spending time with Ryatt it made me realize that I couldn't let her slip through my fingers again. I couldn't let her hate me the way I hated my parents. She deserved better than what I was giving her.

Straight from therapy my parents dropped me off at the Bradbury's house. It was nicer than I expected being that Casey was only living off a school nurse's salary. Her husband must have had a killer job. I've never really asked, has never really been my place to do so.

When my mom pulled into the driveway, I saw Pierce's car there and instantly felt my heart drop into my stomach. I wanted to see him. I loved seeing him but I still wasn't ready to forgive him for what he did to me and well I guess more like everyone.

I reached into the backseat and grabbed my overnight bag before leaving my mom and heading up to the foreign space. I raised my hand and knocked at the door while hearing little feet run along the wood floors of the house.

"I get it!" I heard Ryder yell right as the door opened revealing his face to me. "Mama Charlee!" He jumped up at me and I grabbed him in my arms spinning him as I covered his face in kisses.

"Is someone ready for a fun filled night?" His head nodded as Ryatt appeared in the doorway, to what I looked to see was the living room, rubbing her eyes. "Ryatt." I smiled at her as she walked slowly over to me.

"You okay?" I said bending down to her height placing Ryder on the floor next to me. She nodded her head as she buried her head into my chest. I ran my hands up and down her back to calm her as Ryder walked over and shut the door I had just walked in from.

As I looked up from my baby siblings, I saw Pierce leaning against the doorframe where Ryatt had just come from. His hands were in his pockets just studying the situation before him. He looked absolutely breathtaking. Not that he ever didn't.

"She just woke up from a nap. She had a, you know, so that's why she seems upset." I sighed at the knowledge of my baby sister having nightmares as well. "Casey and Levi are having a night out since you're staying over. They wanted to give you true alone time with them. They'll be back in the morning unless you ask for otherwise. Casey left both their numbers on the fridge for you to contact them. I'm going to head out."

He instantly began to head towards the front door but I reached out for him before he could leave. "Can you stay? For a little?"

"Are you sure?" He took a step closer to me as I stood up to meet his height.

"Please." I said with a smile. "Help me cook them dinner while they play? I want to talk." I felt myself getting nervous. The idea of having to talk with Pierce about everything on my mind sent tidal waves of a lot of different emotions over me.

"Of course. Ryatt and Ryder head up to your playroom. We're going to cook you some dinner. Later, after dinner, maybe you can help Charlee make some cookies?"

"Yay!" Ryatt and Ryder took off up the stairs in the entryway leaving Pierce and I in their dust. I laughed at their reaction and Pierce followed suit.

His hand reached out grazing mine out of normalcy but I pulled mine away from his instantly. His shoulders dropped at my reaction but I ignored his actions as I walked towards the kitchen that could be seen from where we were standing.

"Baker." My name leaving his mouth held heavy in the air as we stood in the kitchen avoiding what we should have been doing, making dinner.

"I love you Pierce. But I'm still hurt by what you did. You pushed everyone away from me. The entire school is going to hate both of us when we walk in there in January and I'm not ready for that. I got so used to running the school, I don't want to go back to how school used to be for me before I got here."

"I fucked up I know. I'm trying to fix it. Let me hold your hand and be there for you. I refuse to let you walk alone. I told you I'd never let you do that again. I love you too much to let that happen again Charlee." Pierce brought his hands to my cheeks holding me so tenderly, so lovingly. I fed into his touch as I did every time his warm skin heated mine. "Can I please just kiss you?"

I couldn't tell him no. No matter how mad or upset I was with him I couldn't deny that I still wanted his lips on mine. It felt like it had been months without his touch. Even though that was far from the truth. My mind was just playing tricks on me like it always did.

My lips beat his to it. We kissed and the electricity, as always, flowed through us. The spark between us hadn't died, and frankly, I don't think it ever would or could. My fingers tangled their way into his curls as they always did when our lips connected. When my mind finally caught up to my body, I stepped away from him quickly.

"That was inappropriate I'm sorry." He stepped back away from me as well running his fingers through his hair. "I shouldn't have asked."