[Ryujin POV]
My only relief is sleeping. Because when I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, angry or lonely. I’m nothing.
Being a freelancer, I had a flexible schedule; I say good morning even when it’s midnight. I get out of my bed, make a cup of coffee, catch up with my emails; but before that I always make sure to carry around my crippling depression.
That was supposed to be my regular routine, but here I am; preparing a dinner for two because Lia, an old friend was coming over.
By old friend, I meant someone who held my heart years ago, daggered it then left without a trace.
I knew Lia since high school, she was a transferee, a shy type, but cute. So I helped her out, I wanted to get close to her, so I did. We were joined by the hip, made promises with each other and all that shit.
Back then I tried to picture my life without her but couldn’t.
But it’s funny how a single thought could easily become a reality. Lia left right after we graduated high school, cutting off all connections with everyone.
But here I am living my life, which turned out fine. Yes. Just fine.
So why am I having dinner with her?
That’s because she called me last night, out of the blue. Asking if we could see each other to catch up; and as a masochist, I agreed. What could go wrong.
**
“This beef stew is really good!” Lia was happily chewing her food, unaware of the storm brewing in Ryujin’s mind. “I never imagined you could cook like this, judging from the burnt fries we tried to make when we were young.”
Ryujin tried not to choke on her drink. Lia mentioning the old days like nothing happened felt off. But she hated this feeling, how it’s always one sided. She moved on, at least that’s what she tells herself. She knew it was going to a mind battle seeing Lia, but if there was an opportunity to see her old flame again, she wouldn’t pass it up.
“Y-Yeah.. I uh I’ve been living alone, so I had to learn.”
“Remember when we thought about living together once we go to college —“
“Can we stop this farce.” Ryujin dropped her utensils on the table and looked at Lia with deadpan eyes. “Why are you here? Why come back after all these years?”
“I missed you.” Lia placed her hands at her lap and avoided Ryujin’s gaze.
There was silence. Years of unanswered questions came were boiling in Ryujin’s head.
“You missed me? THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE?” Ryujin stood up from her chair and went to the kitchen counter to cool herself down. She didn’t mean to shout, but she just couldn’t take it anymore.
“You think that you could just show up like nothing happened. You think that I would just welcome you back with arms wide open?”
Lia was still sitting in silence.
“You miss me?” Ryujin scoffed. “You lost that right when you abandoned me years ago.”
“I didn’t want to leave!” Lia finally looked at Ryujin but tears were already flowing from her eyes. “But I had to..”
“What does that mean?”
Turns out Lia was suffering from an illness, and had to fly abroad for different surgeries and therapies.
