Scars [Ashton Irwin]

Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE:

I tossed and turned in bed, pulled the covers off and pulled them back on, until I finally decided to open my eyes. I felt around for my cellphone, and squinted at the bright light coming from the device when I checked the time. 01:20 AM.

I felt a liquid trickle out of my right nostril, and realised that I was having another nose bleed. I groaned, but got out of bed anyway to go and sort it out. I walked across the hall to the bathroom without making a sound, and dealt with my nosebleed. As I walked back to my room, I heard a sound coming from my brothers room amd decided to check on him.

"Kellin?" I said, knocking lightly on the door so that I wouldn't wake mother up. There was no reply, so I twisted the handle, and walked into the room. My brother was sitting in a chair in the corner of his room. There was no light source, and I wondered what he was doing. "Kellin, are you okay?" I asked, walking closer to him.

"I'm a murderer." He mumbled. "I'm a fucking murderer." And this time I could hear that he was crying. "Fuck." He cried. I reached my brother and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't shrug my hand off. His body shook with sobs, and I stood there, unable to do anything. He was always so strong for me, it was hard to see him like this.

"You're not a murderer." I tried to sooth my hysterical brother.

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about!" He snapped. "You don't know." He said, sitting back down on his chair, and I watched as he crumbled under my fingertips. "You don't fucking know."

* * *

When I woke, it was bright outside and I was in my brothers bed. He was nowhere to be found, so I assumed that he had gone to meet with his band. It was way past noon, and I felt light knowing that I had slept for so many hours at once. But then I remembered what had happened to my brother in the early hours of this morning, and sadness gripped my heart and squeezed it full of pain.

I could barely remember what had happened. I only remember how he cried and kept going on about how he was a murderer. I remember how I didn't know how to comfort him. I couldn't say that it would all be okay, because I didn't know.

I rolled out of Kellin's bed and made it to my room. I found my cellphone immediately and noticed that I had two messages from Cassidy.

From: Cassidy
Coming over today.

From: Cassidy
Be at yours in twenty.

I was in no mood for company today.  I would be better off depressing myself all day. I decided to text her back.

To: Cassidy
Not feeling okay. Don't come over.

I pressed send, and was about to throw my phone onto my bed, when it vibrated.

From: Cassidy
Too late. Here already.

And almost immediately, I heard the doorbell. I ignored it and hoped that mom wasn't home to get the door. But of course she was, because just a minute later, I heard voices and people walking up the stairs and to my room.

"Kenzie, you have friends over." Mom said, knocking on my door.

"Come in." I finally called. The door was pulled open and Cassidy, followed by Ashton, strolled into my room.

"MC Quinn!" Cassidy said as a greeting, and I gave her a strange look. "I'm trying to be original."

"Or, you could just say hi, like normal people do." Ashton chuckled, but she only rolled her eyes at him.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked finally.

"Well, I wanted to hang out. And Ashton is here because we're kind of a package deal." She explained, and I nodded. I didn't really mind Ashton being here, its just that I was uncomfortable around guys.

"So what do you wanna do?" Ashton asked me.

"Uhm, I don't know."

"What's wrong? You said you weren't feeling well." He almost sounded like he cared. Almost.

"Nothing. Just a little tired." I shrugged.

"That why you're still in your jammys?" Cassidy asked.

"Yeah, sort of." I smiled shyly. I didn't like all the questions.

"You're going to take a shower now. And then we're all going somewhere." Ashton said.

"I'm not really in the mood for going out." I muttered.

"Okay, how about pizza and a movie?" He suggested.

"Better."

"Okay, pizza and a movie it is then." Cassidy said. "Now go and shower."

"Yes ma'am." I laughed.

* * *

After my shower, I made my way back to my room. I got dressed in the bathroom, because it would have been awkward walking around in a towel when Ashton and Cassidy were in the house. I adorned a pair of leggings, a plain black shirt and a cardigan.

As I neared my door, I could hear voices. Ashton and Cassidy were talking. I knew that it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I was curious.

"You didn't see it?" I heard Ashton ask Cassidy.

"I didn't see anything, Ash. Maybe you're just imagining things." She said.

"I know what I saw. I can recognise those anytime. I know what they are. She's not okay." I heard him say, until I decided that I had heard enough and walked in, stopping their conversation. I didn't like that they were talking about me while I wasn't there. And I didn't like what they were talking about, because I was almost sure about what it was.

"I changed my mind, lets go out instead." I mumbled, tugging on the sleeves of my cardigan.

"You sure?" Ashton asked. There was something in his eyes when he asked, but I chose to ignore it.

"Yeah." I said quietly.  All I wanted was to be alone. I didn't want to see the rest of the world. I didn't want to go out. I just wanted to be alone. I felt my heart rate pick up, and knew that I was about to have another attack. My palms were already sweating and the headache was back. I could feel the tears coming and I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

I ran out of my room and down the stairs and out the front door. Kellin pulled up in his car, but I just ran passed him. He called my name, but I just kept running. I could hear that I was now being followed, but didn't bother to look. I kept hearing my name, but it felt like none of this was real. I just kept running. I ran to the only place where I felt alone. The place where it was silent enough for me to scream. The only place where I wanted to be right now.

"McKenzie stop!" I heard Kellin shout. I was only a few feet away from the cliff. I wasn't going to jump. I was going to sit there and cry until it was okay to get back into the real world. I fell to the floor, hurting my hands and knees as I did. And that was when I began to cry. I felt pathetic.

"Stay there! I'll handle this!" I heard Kellin yell, and I guessed that it was at Cassidy and Ashton. I only sat there and cried like a whiney little bitch. He put his arms around me, and I did nothing but cry some more, staining my brothers shirt with my pathetic little tears once again. "What's going on, Kenzie? Please, talk to me." He whispered, and I shook my head. I didn't like that Cassidy and Ashton were witnessing this.

"Take me home, please." I pleaded, the tears never stopping.

"Okay, I will. Do you want your friends to go home?" He asked, and I nodded. He picked me up, and I realised that I was shaking. This time I couldn't tell myself that I was okay, because I knew that I wasn't.

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