Scars [Ashton Irwin]

Chapter Twenty

CHAPTER TWENTY:

I pushed him onto the bed and crawled ontop of him, already pulling at his shirt. He tensed when I ran my hands up and down his toned torso and reached for his belt. I thought nothing of it and kissed him on the lips, rocking my hips slowly, and feeling him getting harder everytime I moved. He groaned once I started kissing his jawline, never seizing the movement of my hips. He grabbed onto my butt, pushing himself upward so that I could feel his erection. As I started unzipping his jeans, he tensed, and there was something in his eyes when I looked up at him. I suddenly felt like I was forcing him into this and stopped what I was doing, not wanting to be accused of raping my boyfriend.

"What's wrong?" I asked, still straddling him.

"Nothing." He said breathlessly. "Why did you stop?"

"Because something is wrong. Tell me." I demanded. He was silent, looking away from me, but not before I could catch the guilty look in his eye. "What is it?" I asked, forcing him to look at me again.

"It's nothing, baby." He said casually, leaning in to kiss me, but I pulled away from him, climbing off of his lap and putting my shirt back on. "No, don't put the shirt on." He whined, and I wanted to smile but I was too annoyed at the fact that he was hiding something from me.

"Tell me." I said again, and he sighed, dropping his head slightly.

"You're going to hate me." He muttered.

"I could never hate you."

"No, but you don't understand." He sighed.

"Then make me understand." I took a seat on the bed, keeping a fair distance between our hormonal selves.

"Before I say it, let me just say that I'm sorry. I-I don't know what I was thinking."

"Stop walking around in circles and tell me, Ashton." I snapped.

"Shit." He muttered under his breath, before breathing in deep and sitting up straight. I stared at him, waiting for him to say something. He ran his fingers through his hair, and I half expected him to tell me that he had gotten a girl pregnant. "I-" he started, but then stopped himself. "I'm really sorry, Kenzie. Please just keep that in mind, baby. I'm so so sorry."

"Ash, please just tell me."

"Please don't hate me." He pleaded.

"I can never hate you." I promised him. He was silent for a while, running his fingers through his hair like he usually did whenever he was nervous about something.

"I- in the two months that we were apart, I might have ...slept with someone." He said, and my heart dropped. This was better than him getting another girl pregnant, right? Not right. It was still bad. Not nearly as bad, but bad. "I-I don't know what I was thinking, Kenzie. I was such a mess of emotions, and-"

"You were a mess of emotions?" I asked, interrupting him. I fought the tears back. I would not allow myself to cry over this. I would not allow it. "Okay, so you were going to different countries, seeing the world, performing for thousands of adoring fans while I was stuck in a hospital being watched twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week, hoping everyday that my boyfriend would call, and you were the mess of emotions? Then what was I? The pillar of strength?"

"No, baby, not like that. I just-"

"No, Ashton! You were out there fucking some whore while I thought about you every second and every minute of every single fucking day!" I snapped. I wouldn't cry, because I was angry. "How could you?"

"I'm really sorry, Kenzie. I-"

"You're sorry? Or are you only saying that because you want to get into my pants right now?"