Scars [Ashton Irwin]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Author's Note
For the full effect, listen to The Scientist by Coldplay while reading this (especially the second half of this chapter).

Happy reading! xx

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT:

I lay in my bed that night, my mind running wild. I had to see Doctor Jacobs early the next day, and I thought of whether or not I should bring up Ashton. I hadn't told my mom, because we got into a heated argument when I arrived earlier, and I had been ignoring her since. But I dismissed the idea when I worked out that there really was not much to tell.

I didn't allow myself to cry. I would look like a pathetic idiot. I wasn't going to cry about this. But that didn't mean that I wasn't hurt. He hadn't called or texted. I kept telling myself that I didn't want him to call and that I would simply ignore it if he did, but the truth was that I wanted him to. We should be together right now. Making love or laughing about something.

It pained me even more to think that he was probably with her. That's why he wasn't calling. He was telling his awkward jokes to her, moaning her name, touching her, making her smile, instead of me. I needed him more than she did. Did he love her? Did she?

I was just about to cave in and let myself cry, but then I got angry. How long had this been going on? Had he been lying to me all this time? What if he only stayed because he pitied me? What if I was the one that he was cheating with, and it wasn't the other way around?

It was near impossible for me to fall asleep, so I sat up and grabbed my sketch pad and a piece of charcoal from my drawing supplies drawer. I produced a messed up portrait of Ashton to symbolise my anger.

By 2AM I was still not in bed. I was on the floor of my bedroom, gently strumming Cobain's (my cherry coloured acoustic) strings to produce a melodic tune. I wrote  and drew and played and listened until I noticed that the sun was beginning to rise. I headed downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee and went back to finish a twisted and almost disturbing drawing of the eye.

It was 7AM when I went downstairs again and decided to make breakfast for mom and I. After putting myself in her shoes, I could understand why she was so upset. I stayed out all night without calling or texting to assure her that I was still alive. I was in the wrong and should have apologised earlier.

When mom came into the kitchen, already in her work clothes, she was pleasantly surprised to find that I had made breakfast. I mumbled my apology and she accepted, sitting down to eat. We discussed my car situation, and I told her that I really didn't want her spending money buying me a car, because I barely left the house. I could walk to wherever I needed to be, and if it was too far, Kellin didn't mind taking me most of the time. I wanted to buy a car with my own money.

Before mother left for the hospital, there was a knock on the door. I was too lazy to get up, so mom got it on her way out. Ashton strolled into the kitchen shortly after, and I realised that I had not told mother about what had happened between Ashton and I.

I went about my business, ignoring his presence. He only stood there, watching me carefully as I cleared the table and put the dishes in the sink. I made myself another cup of coffee, sitting down at the kitchen table to look at him. He still hadn't said a word.

"We need to talk." He said eventually, pulling himself from the wall and taking a seat across from me.

"Hello to you to." I mumbled.

"Look," he started "you got that all wrong. I am not cheating on you, okay?"

"Then explain the lady on the phone."