risk// 5SOS

23

Calum

I sat with a miserable Sage and Rider, whose mouths were sore and moods were dampened. It had been a full on day after their surgery, and the perkiness they woke up with was rapidly wearing off. Though they weren't too swollen, and could talk okay, their jaws still ached.

"Mr Hood, why don't you come in?"

"You two wait here, okay?" I said, squeezing Rider's hand before following Clarissa into the room where Gia sat. Luke had taken her in for therapy, but he had told me I needed to pick her up. Usually it was pretty private, and I only went in for more serious conversations, but Gia seemed content.

She sat swinging her legs, looking at the various posters up on the display wall, surrounded by a purple banner. They were all kid friendly, and probably helped a lot.

I sat next to Gia on the sofa and she hugged my side, so I put my arm round her.

"Gia is doing really well lately, she is really starting to understand other people, and her own actions. Have you noticed that?"

"I have, it's really nice to see,"

"It is! And it shows me that she is making good progress on herself, and I wanted to tell you myself how proud I am of Gia. You're doing so well with all the tricky memories, and learning how to cope,"

"She hasn't had a panic attack in a while," I said, "Which shows you're using what you learnt,"

"4 weeks," she said, sitting up, "Since my last one. It will be my last one,"

"Gia, everyone experiences anxiety, and you will still experience it in your life, but hopefully not as much," Clarissa said.

"Oh, yeah,"

"And don't pressure yourself to never have a panic attack again. Having one isn't a step back,"

"Not at all," I said.

"But you are doing well! Anyway, Gia needed a little chat before home time, but she wanted to do it with me here,"

I looked back at her and she stared at her lap, kicking her legs up and down on the floor. Gently, I brushed my thumb up and down her arm, and was patient. This week it might be even harder to have tough conversations because of the chaos.

"There is something I haven't told you,"

"Okay, I am listening,"

"I used to- they used to make me,"

She started choking up, but instead of moving away from me, she knelt on the sofa and wrapped her arms round my neck.

"Steal,"

"They used to make you steal?"

"Yeah, cigarettes mostly, but sometimes chocolate, or canned food,"

"I am sorry you went through that, angel, that must've been stressful,"

"If I got the wrong one it was bad. Once I tried to say... to say... to say,"

"No," Clarissa said for her, "Remember to pause if you need to,"

"And that was bad too,"

"You are so strong, and I am so proud of you. That doesn't make you a bad person, Gia, okay? You did what you had to do to stay as safe as you could in that environment,"

"Thank you,"

"And we will always have enough food in the house, so you don't have to go through that ever again,"

She nodded and I kissed her head, letting her out of my hold.

"Rider and Sage are sat out there if you want to sit with them,"