He is gone, Can is gone, and Sanem must learn to live his life without the one who had become the centre, the essence.
Two souls hundreds of kilometres apart, lost but never forgotten, two hearts beating the same rhythm without having the courage t...
"There is no such thing as 'we' and there can't be any more"
Her words have chilled me, I can no longer utter a word as I see her walk decisively out of the lift, I can do nothing but follow her down the corridor and into the meeting room of HXC Cosmetics. The meeting is about to start, I join Emre and Deren who have already taken their seats next to Sanem. I look at her and realise that she is nervous, impatient to know the outcome of the competition and all her efforts over the last few months.
I sigh, thinking that if there was still an us now, I would be next to her, maybe holding her hand and reassuring her that she has done a wonderful job of which she is certainly proud. Damn you Can Divit!
The representatives of HXC Cosmetics take the floor, thanking first of all the representatives of the agencies that took part in their competition, followed by a long discussion on the company's activities, in particular on its expansion in the Turkish market in recent years, and then it's time... the advertising campaign will be entrusted to.....
FIKRI HARIKA
I knew it, I was sure of it, she's smart the woman I fell in love with, she's intelligent and perceptive, she catches the most singular nuances in every situation and this, in the advertising field, leads to successful campaigns. I am proud of her and happy that she has achieved this goal and shown her talent to everyone.
The young girl who joined Fikri Harika only a few months ago as a trainee has come a long way. She was not given much consideration at the beginning, she was even called "The Other" to indicate that she had no role or identity, but now she has scored a coup that will bring a lot of money and prestige to the agency. She has been able to show everyone what she is really made of and this could be a springboard for a dazzling career that I wish her well with all my heart.
I see her finally relax as she announces her campaign win, Deren gives her an enthusiastic hug and then it's Emre's turn. I'd like to go and congratulate her too, to hold her in my arms and tell her she's done bloody well, but I can't do that, her admonishing look as she releases herself from Emre's embrace is more than clear. I've already pushed her boundaries too far for today, imposed my presence on her and pressed her too hard as well as definitely embarrassing her in front of her own.
I had never thought about how she would explain to Nihat and Mevkibe the fact that I had left her and that there was no longer any engagement, by suddenly disappearing for months I had humiliated her in the eyes of her parents as well as those of all those who had seen me put a ring on her finger and she didn't deserve it, damn me, she didn't deserve it. In my defence I can only say that when I did it I really wanted to do it, with all my heart, a heart that loved her at that moment, honestly, the problem came later, when reason and fears took over every other feeling. We were both so happy that night, we were one, in my arms she was as bright as ever and confident of my love.
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I did nothing but betray that trust in the worst way, I turned my back on her by leaving, probably making her ashamed of herself in front of her parents, a further reason not to forgive me. I treated with extreme superficiality something that was extremely important for her and her family, a marriage proposal is not a small commitment in their world made of rituals and traditions, I realize it only now.
While I am lost in these unedifying considerations, the representatives of HXC Cosmetics approach us to congratulate us and make the first arrangements to start working on the advertising campaign. Her words catch me completely off guard - I would like to introduce Mr Can Divit, he will be in charge of the campaign from now on, he knows the project perfectly, he has followed it from the beginning and suggested many details regarding the graphics, I am sure you will be very satisfied with his work -.
I am approached by the CEO of HXC Cosmetics who keeps me engaged in an endless conversation while all I want to do right now is to go to her and ask her not to leave Fikri Harika, to work together on this new campaign, to live every moment of the day elbow to elbow, it would be a success for sure and a dream for me.
I watch her walk away to join that man, Hakan, who shakes her hand in congratulations, of course. They talk for a few moments and then, to my enormous dismay, leave the meeting room together after saying goodbye to their respective teams.
I feel a dagger in the centre of my heart as I see her leave with him, again like the night before, I can't accept watching her slowly slip through my fingers now that I've finally realised that she means everything to me. If only I hadn't been so adamant months earlier I could now claim her as mine in the eyes of the world and in front of that man.
I can barely answer the HXC Cosmetics rep's questions as with a growing terror I realise that seeing her walk out that door I've actually seen her walk out of my life if I don't immediately come up with something to meet her again.
But what? Think Can thinks, you can't give up resigning yourself to losing her, you have to find a way to stay as close to her as possible.
After leaving the offices of HXC Cosmetics I stop Deren as she's getting into a taxi to return to the agency and invite her to lunch at a nearby restaurant to explain the situation and work out a plan together.
We part shortly afterwards with the understanding that we will meet again at the agency to set everything up in the best possible way and somehow I feel better about doing something for her and being there for her at the same time.
I get into my car and drive towards Fikri Harika, I stop at a traffic light not far away and my gaze falls on a couple sitting in front of a restaurant window. I can't help but feel a pang in my heart when I recognise Sanem and that man deep in conversation, I feel torn by an endless anguish and I can't help thinking that this is exactly what she must have felt when she saw me leaving with Polen or when she saw those damned scandal photos. I am touching the reality of endless suffering at the idea of knowing the person you love most in the world next to someone else.
