The albatross journey

34 - A plunge into the past

Can

There she is, beautiful and resplendent as ever, in a white lace dress that wraps around her body in an uncanny way and, even in the midst of all this crowd, my gaze is drawn to her as soon as she walks through the door of the venue hosting the event.
How much have I missed her this month without her?
I feel my heart pounding as I move through the crowd of guests to reach her, I have to move decisively and not allow her to realise what's happening otherwise I risk her stiffening up or, worse, trying to leave. Every step I take towards her feels like I can finally breathe after being in a kind of apnea for the whole month during which I couldn't see her.

I get in front of her looking at her intensely while she gives me a surprised look - Can? - I take her hand and bring it to my lips smiling reassuringly - Welcome Sanem - Then, without giving her the time to say anything and continuing to hold her hand tightly in mine, I cross the room decisively practically dragging her away with me. It's now or never, I think to myself.
I nod to Deren who joins us at the foot of the stage that has been set up for the presentation and all three of us climb the steps together to reach the centre of the stage.
I feel Sanem trying to resist the grip of my hand to stop but I tighten my grip, I can't let her get away from me. When I reach the microphone Cey Cey, as agreed, gradually fades out the music that was playing in the background of the evening to give me the chance to start talking, attracting the attention of everyone present.

-Good evening, thank you for being here this evening at this event organised to launch a campaign that Fikri Harika has taken care of with passion and professionalism, as it has done for over forty years with each of its projects. What you will see in a moment is the result of intense teamwork. Each member of our company's team has made an essential contribution and I would like to thank each and every one of them for this. I was the creative director who led the creation of this campaign, but I would like to pay tribute to the person who conceived it and led it to success, Fikri Harika, who won the competition organised by HXC Cosmetics and was awarded the project thanks to her talent and her essential contribution. Before we begin, on behalf of the entire agency, I would like to thank the creative director who led the team behind the 'Obsession' campaign, Miss Sanem Aydin -

All the guys at the agency, my father and the representatives of HXC Cosmetics know perfectly well the role Sanem played in the creation of this advertising campaign, which promises to be a great success.

I hand her the microphone urging her to say something, she looks at me for a few moments intensely in the eyes as if she wanted to refuse, but then she squares her shoulders, takes a deep breath and seems to decide otherwise by accepting it evidently excited.

-Thank you, thank you to Fikri Harika for giving me the opportunity to work with a great team in a company that has stood out for the creativity and professionalism of its work for decades. I would like to thank every member of the team who worked with me, especially Deren Keskin from whom I learned so much about the world of advertising and Can Divit who, as creative director, delivered exactly what I envisioned for this very special product. Many thanks to all of them -

Another roaring applause greets her words, she is excited and I am happy, it was only right that she should be given credit for one of the most beautiful campaigns ever created by Fikri Harika. At this moment I would just like to reach out and take her in my arms to tell her how proud I am of her, how fascinated I am by the unique way in which her way of thinking proves to be creative and original every time, but this is neither the time nor the place.

The floor is given to Deren who starts the actual presentation of the campaign, Sanem and I remain on stage while the images of "Obsession" are projected on the big screen and the slogans she has created alternate with the images of the perfume. When Deren pronounces the words that Sanem said at the presentation of the project - We want men to be enraptured, conquered by this perfume... we want them to be literally OBSESSED by it - I move slightly closer to her and whisper softly in her ear:

- I have been, I've been obsessed with your perfume and I've done crazy things thinking it was essential to me, only to find out that it has no meaning and no importance without you, it's not the perfume I want, I only want you now and forever - I see her holding her breath continuing to look in front of her, she gives me a brief look that I can't decipher and then returns to rest her gaze on Deren without replying.

I go back to the presentation with a half-smile on my lips, it doesn't matter that she didn't say anything, all I care about is that she knows how I feel, that she knows I still want her, now more than ever.

The presentation ends in a blaze of applause, Deren thanks the audience with a bow and calls us both next to her to take the deserved tribute for our work, we get off the stage and putting a hand behind her back I guide her towards the representatives of HXC Cosmetics who welcome us enthusiastic about the work done. I am amazed at how at ease she is in such a situation, she has grown up and is now a much more confident woman Sanem Aydin, I can't say that this bothers me, on the contrary, if possible it makes her even more fascinating in my eyes.

When the discussion is winding down and I'm sure she's just waiting for the right moment to walk away from me, I turn around to give the agreed signal to Cey Cey and that song that I feel is so much ours begins. When we danced it together, months before, my heart I'm sure had understood that I shouldn't let her go, had felt that I should keep her right there in my arms and never let her go again, but unfortunately it was my stubbornness and arrogance that took over and made me ruin everything.

I turn to her and extend a hand in a clear gesture of invitation, she looks me in the eye once again with that look of hers that was once an open book, filled only with love and devotion, but has now become closed and cryptic for me. I pray with all my heart that she accepts my invitation and luckily, probably knowing that she can't evade it in front of everyone without making a scene, she puts her hand on mine to follow me on the trail. I finally hold her in my arms again after months and months during which I have wanted nothing else, I sigh ecstatically and I seem to feel her doing the same.

We move to the rhythm of the music as we had done in the past, eyes to eyes, breaths panting and close, I feel like I'm dreaming and I wish I could go back to that night so many months before, to the presentation of the Redmore campaign, when I could still save what we had. I wish things had been different, I should have taken her hand, led her out of the room just to kiss her until I was out of breath and then told her that I wouldn't leave, that I would stay with her forever, that that perfume meant nothing and that the only thing that meant anything to me, the most important thing in my life, was her.

I think I see the same regret in her eyes that I'm convinced I have in mine, I feel that she too feels the nostalgia of our bodies close together, of my arms holding her to my chest, of our skin touching and our breaths merging to inhale each other's scent. I caress her back slowly as I have missed doing so much, our bodies close together that have always seemed to recognise each other and fit together perfectly as if seeking the perfection of completeness that only together can achieve. The music is beautiful, she enchants me with those hazel eyes that from the beginning seemed to promise me happiness and in this instant I can say that I'm happy, I'm complete and alive as I haven't been for so many months apart.

The song is about to end and I hold her tighter as if I don't want to let her go any more, evidently she is aware of it too and on the last notes she speaks confirming that she has understood perfectly what I am thinking.

- It feels like we've gone back months, doesn't it? If only you had made a different choice that night, in that moment that seems identical to this one, we wouldn't be here now and I wouldn't be in the position of having to tell you that it's too late Can Divit, too late -

Having said these words she takes a firm step backwards releasing himself from my embrace and turns to head resolutely towards the exit and once again out of my life.