The albatross journey

48 - Make beautiful dreams

Sanem

- Make beautiful dreams -

With this whispered wish he touched my heart as much as, and perhaps more than, the wonderful evening he arranged in every detail for us on the lakeshore.
I have to admit that he is going to great lengths to try and impress me, but can I risk seeing this as an expression of real change or, as in the past, just empty displays of romanticism?
Didn't he previously set up an enchanted setting for me at his cabin with lights, flowers and cushions everywhere? Did this prevent him, only a few days later, from shouting at me that I was no longer anyone to him?

I came back home after our romantic picnic more confused than ever, I don't know what to think, I don't know how much importance to give to his striking gestures when he showed me that he didn't know how to give concrete proof that he really felt something special for me.

One thing is certain, when the long brooding and thinking gave me a break and I managed to fall asleep I had really good dreams.
I dreamt that nothing had happened, that that night at the cabin we had had a sincere and mature confrontation, which had allowed me to explain my motivations, my fear of talking to him about what I had done also because of his intransigence in not accepting compromises, my concern about the fact that he was in prison.
In my dream everything was resolved in an embrace of those that only he knows how to give me, that only with him were home and belonging, we had looked into each other's eyes for a long time smiling, silently confessing to each other the depth of our love that nothing could scratch or affect.
It had been wonderful, never before had I felt so happy, never in the last few months had I allowed myself to go so far with my imagination. The pain that had taken hold of me had prevented me from even dreaming of such a happy ending between us when everything seemed lost and irretrievable.

The alarm clock soon reminded me of a very different and much more bitter reality, a reality that brought with it fears and lack of confidence, it brought back alive and burning that dull pain that is now an integral part of my every day.
I hurriedly prepare myself to be ready for the time agreed upon with Hakan, he sent me a message the night before to let me know he was going to pick me up so that we could discuss some issues regarding other ongoing campaigns while we go to the set together.
I hurriedly leave when I see his car stop in front of the house, as I get into the car I absentmindedly turn around and notice the light on on the ground floor of the other side of the semi-detached house I live in. My neighbours are apparently just as early risers as I am, I haven't had a chance to meet them yet and with the impossible hours this week I think it will be difficult to get a chance to meet them for now. I sigh imperceptibly shrugging my shoulders, there will be time to get to know them in the future, I tell myself.

We're soon on the set, as we get out of the car Hakan's phone starts ringing and I absent-mindedly hear him commenting worriedly that it's a big problem.
I walk away for a few moments to talk to the guys who are fixing the lights and when I come back I find him staring into space, uncertain, worried.

- What's going on Hakan -

- A model called the agency a little while ago saying that she's sick and can't take part in the photo shoot today.

-Don't they have a replacement to send? -

-Unfortunately not, all the girls are already booked up for today. -Unfortunately not.

- Well, let's contact another agency. -

-You know it's the height of the season for the autumn-winter campaigns, so I don't think we can find models on the spur of the moment. -

- What are we gonna do? -

-Well, I was thinking of a solution.
I've seen online that you have modeled in the past in a Can Divit shoot for a women's charity.-