The albatross journey

25 - A new chapter

Sanem

When I hear the HXC Cosmetics representatives say Fikri Harika's name, I can't believe I've made it, I can't believe I've won such a prestigious advertising campaign.
It makes me feel good, I feel like I have been repaid for all the humiliation that women like Huma and Polen have suffered over time. The simple girl from the neighbourhood has shown what she's made of, that's enough for me, I don't want money or prestige, I just want to be able to say that I've won a huge challenge.

I return Deren's hug and then Emre's, who was the first to believe in me in this adventure, and I am immensely grateful. Over his shoulder I meet Can's gaze and give him a clear message: "Stay away from me, don't you dare".
He seems to understand, but the arrival of the representatives of HXC Cosmetics removes all my embarrassment. Presenting them with Can as the future creative director in charge of the campaign, I leave, my work for Fikri Harika is over.

This experience is now in the past and I have to start thinking about my future, I see Hakan nodding at me from afar and it is there, after a sleepless night and a morning in which the proximity of Can has done nothing but destabilise me, that I make my decision. I gather my things and reach Hakan who welcomes me with his sly smile, he shakes my hand smiling - My prediction has been respected, I knew you would win this campaign Sanem Aydin, that's why I asked you to join my team, I'm sure we can do great things together - I nod thanking him - Shall we talk about it then Hakan Demir? Even now if you want -

- Sure, no problem, let's go - He greets his team while I tell Deren that I'm leaving and that I'll come by the agency later to pick up my things. I feel with every fibre of my skin his gaze follow me, I feel his eyes on me like a caress on my fingertips that sends shivers down my spine. I am acutely aware of him and his presence, which is why I hurry to leave the meeting room and, at this point, his life forever.

Hakan leads me out of the HXC Cosmetics building and down the street for a few hundred metres to an elegant restaurant, they seat us by the glass window and before long we have our plates in front of us. With him I feel naturally at ease, we comment on the victory of the campaign and then get to the point, I absolutely have to make a few things clear.

-Listen Hakan, I've been thinking about your proposal and I've decided that it's the right thing to do for me right now, I need a radical change in my life, I need to get away from everything and everyone to write a new chapter in my existence both personally and professionally.
I want to be absolutely honest with you, I want you to know that my dream has always been to write, I have always done it with great passion since I was a child, and at the moment one of my manuscripts is being examined by two publishing houses. If one of them decides to publish my manuscript, I will have to choose between the two, and right now I can't tell which one I would choose.

- Wow, Sanem Aydin, you're a very talented woman, it seems - He looks at me for a few moments without saying a word, then sighs.
- I desperately need someone good in Ankara to manage the work in my absence, we'll see in time. In case you decide to follow your literary career, I only ask you to give me time to find a replacement and follow him briefly in the transition, tamam okay? -

- Tamam is fine, when do you want me to start? -

- Honestly as I said I need someone there as soon as possible, you tell me how soon you can be ready to go . For the moment I can't move from Istanbul but I'll have Dilara, my trusted collaborator in Ankara, join you to introduce you to the team and to the most important clients. I will join you to work together on major campaigns as soon as possible.

- I don't have any constraints at the moment, I just need to pack my bag and I'm ready to go.

-Perfect, I will inform Dilara and give her the necessary instructions to welcome you and give you the first directions -.

We finish lunch putting together the last details necessary for my transfer, he asks me if I want the secretary to take care of finding me a flat in the centre of Ankara but I decline the offer, I need to choose personally where to live.

We say goodbye shortly afterwards and, since it is still early, I decide to go home before returning to Fikri Harika for the last time to collect my things. I have a very delicate confrontation with my parents and after the scene they witnessed this morning, I think we will have quite a lot to discuss.

I go up to my room to change and then join them in the garden where, as usual, they are sipping the tea that marks the end of the lunch that has always been in the Aydin household. They both look at me curiously, waiting for an explanation about what happened that morning, which I don't have or don't have the strength to give.

- Anne, Baba, Mum, Dad, in the past few months you haven't asked me for an explanation and I've been enormously grateful, now please don't ask, it's a long story and I don't feel like going through it again. It's enough for you to know that things didn't work out between us, that's all.

Now, however, I need a radical change more than ever, today I have received enormous satisfaction, my project has been accepted by a prestigious cosmetics company and Fikri Harika has been awarded the campaign -

I am overwhelmed by their enthusiasm, which cannot but translate into tears, kisses and warm hugs that warm the heart and fill me with pride. They are my parents, they are my strength, my roots, my safe haven from which I know I can leave and return at any time to find their support and understanding.

- I told you that I had accepted Emre's offer on condition that I got to the presentation of the project. I'm not going to do the actual campaign, but this win was an opportunity to make myself known to another company in the sector who made me a very attractive offer. Please understand, at this moment I need a radical change, I need to challenge my limits once again, I need to test myself again and so I have decided to accept a prestigious position, as a copywriter, for their Ankara office -

I see their eyes widen, they shake each other's hand on the table, silently exchange a look of understanding and then turn to me and nod.

I'm touched, they understand how important this is for me, they know it's what I need right now in so many ways. I have to get away from Istanbul so that I don't live in the places full of memories of when we were together anymore and above all I don't have any chance to meet him.

- I have to leave as soon as possible, the post has been vacant for some time and they need me to go as soon as possible to start looking at the current campaigns so that I can be operational as soon as possible -

This is my mother speaking - Sanem aşkım, are you sure about what you are doing? I mean especially if you are sure of what you are leaving - Her gaze is clear, with my mother there is no need for many words.

I nod with conviction - There is nothing left mum, there is nothing to keep me tied to Istanbul anymore -

She nods and hugs me, holding me close for a long time - Do what you feel is right for you, my daughter, you know that we are ready to support you in any situation. You are a big girl now and you have shown that you are capable of doing great things, we won't be able to stop you-

I melt from his embrace and nod moved, then I embrace my babam who whispers in my ear while he holds me in his strong embrace - Go erkenci kuş, you are free to fly wherever you want, but know that here you will always find a nest ready to welcome you -

At my father's words I cannot hold back a solitary tear of emotion, I am so lucky to have parents like them, I am fully aware of this.

I say goodbye to them to leave the house and reach for the last time the Fikri Harika, I have to hand back the laptop and pick up some things I left in what was my office, in that archive which has seen so much of my life there with and without ...

Can.

I don't want to think about him right now, I'm about to start a new chapter of my life elsewhere and, the one with him, is now a chapter closed months before, when it was him who decided to write under a beautiful love story simply: "The end".