𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚 || 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 COMPLETED

𝟙𝟝

isjdfsha

ello

is gog's pov

TW// intrusive thoughts, mention of suicide (this is a repeated trigger, continuing for a few chapters. to avoid spoilers and such, i won't be putting it on every chapter, because it's not in every chapter. please just keep in mind that it is a trigger that will be mentioned throughout the story.)

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𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆.

Sapnap spat into the dust. Karl reached out to grab his hand, his ring catching against the light. Sap's matching one bumped against it.

"I can't believe  him. And how the hell did he get a plane? This makes no sense."

I nodded, patting his back. I tried to think about it in a more tactical way, but really I just felt guilty. I was the one to tell Nick we were together. I was the one who agreed to keep him at my place until the police arrived. I was the one who came with them.

And I was the one who liked him.

I wished things were normal. That we were just 2 guys who met in a coffee shop. That we started chatting, and exchanged numbers, and started going out. That we weren't trying to catch each other, or betraying each other. That we weren't a murderer and an ex-cop trying to stay loyal to each other and our friends.

But that was impossible.

Im-fucking-possible.

I looked over my shoulder, seeing the two fiancé's talking with each other, and decided to slip off. I wandered through the town, finally stepping into my apartment complex. Each step I took up the stairs felt harder and harder, like something was pushing on my shoulders. 

I finally stopped in front of the door to my apartment. I reached into my pocket, pulling out the keys. I pushed open the door, hopping inside as I took off my shoes. Sitting down on the couch, I checked my phone, hoping, but doubting, that Clay had texted me.

He doesn't even have your number, idiot, I scolded myself.

Still though, I scrolled through my messages, heart growing heavier the farther I scrolled. Just as I was beginning to lose hope, a text banner flashed at the top of the screen. I scrambled to click it. My phone began to glow white, only a single text sent.

Unknown

fuck you george

I quickly typed a response

Unknown

fuck you george

clay is that you

im so sorry

i fucked up

theres nothing i can do to fix
that

im so so so sorry

youre right

you fucked up

and im an idiot

because i trusted you

because i want to trust you
still

because maybe i still want
you

i'm sorry clay

i still want you too

I held my breath, waiting for those annoying ass grey dots to finish typing.

Waiting for him to respond.

I waited for what seemed like hours, and all he sent in response was 4 words.

then we're both idiots

i know

I tried to say something more, but all that showed up was "You can no longer reply to this conversation".

I deserved that.

I deserved everything he thought I did.

I deserved to die.

At least that was one thing I could do myself.

~~~~~~

GEORGE NO :((

on other news

short story book soon pog?

kk bye

NO WTF IM REREADING THIS AND I HAD SO MANY TYPOS