Something Is Missing | Ronnie Radke

Chapter 8- Wine Night

"Jen, you just kicked ass in that practice session!" Dierks exclaimed as he pulled me in for a hug. "Seriously, you're gonna do great on tour!"

I hugged him back and gave him a smile as we pulled away. "Thank you. I'm excited. Only about a year until we actually go," I replied. "I look forward to being on the road with you and Cole and your crews!"

"We're so excited to have you with us," he said. "Now go and sit down! You look like you're dead in your feet!" He turned me around and put me in the right direction of the dressing rooms.

I did as I was told and slowly made my way to my dressing room. When I got there I crashed down on the couch and let out a long sigh.

This was day 10 since I broke things off with Ronnie. While it was still hard, it seemed to be getting a little better every day.

After I'd left the hotel, I managed to get my head on straight and truly thought about the situation. Especially after talking to Cole, it was reassuring that I was making the right decision.

Despite mentally feeling better, I just began to feel more and more sluggish. All I wanted to do was sleep... Or eat— goddamn emotions.

While I was still able to get around and do stuff for my career, it all just seemed to be way too draining.

I leaned back into the couch cushion and brought my legs up, holding them close to me. My eyes fell shut as I threw my head back.

Part of me thought I was asleep, until there was a knock and the door to my dressing room opened and I cracked an eye open. Cassidy, Dierks' wife, was standing there.

"Jen, Hun," she greeted as she moved in. "You did so great out there." She got closer to me and slowed her pace, looking at me in question. "Are you feeling okay, Jen?"

"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "I'm just really tired." I moved my legs, stretching them out.

Cassidy moved to sit down on the couch next to me. She was looking directly at me as she put her hand on my knee. "Are you sure? You're looking pretty pale," she noted. "You really don't look too good. Have you eaten today?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I have. I'm just whipped," I replied.

"How have you been since... You know?" She asked. She was referring to the Ronnie situation. I was so thankful for her as she was the one that helped get me through it initially.

"Okay," I mumbled. "It sucks, but I've been good. I deleted all of my photos of him in my phone and his contact last night."

Cassidy smiled. "See? That's a step in the right direction," she said. "But seriously, you don't look too good. Do you want me to go and grab Rachel? She could just check up on you."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I don't need a medic," I replied. "I just need to take a nap."

"Alright," she said. She let out a sigh and patted my knee. "Really, if you need anything, let me know. I'll leave you to take a nap. I'll check in with you after Dierks is done rehearsing. And I'll tell you what, you and I are going to do dinner, wine, and a movie at yours tonight. You look like you need a girls night."

After looking at her for a few seconds, I let out a sigh and nodded. "Alright. I will see you in a bit," I replied. "But we are definitely getting Chinese! I've been dying for some Sesame Chicken!"

She stood up and nodded, sending me a wink. "You got it, girl!"

***

"Hey girl! You're looking a little better," Cassidy greeted as she burst through my front door. "I've got eight bottles of wine! I sure hope that's enough!"

I giggled and shook my head as I moved from the couch and made my way to help her in the kitchen. "I'll help you get it in the fridge. The Chinese should be here any minute," I informed as we began to stuff the bottles of wine into the fridge.

"That's great," she exclaimed as she smiled at me. She instantly pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so happy we could do this tonight! I know you need it!"

I smiled back at her. "Yeah, I could really use it. Especially since all of my friends from high school have moved away," I told her. "It's nice to have some girl time."

There was a knock at the door and I moved over to grab it. There stood a woman with a bag of food. "Hi order for Jennifer?"

"That's me! Thank you so much," I said as she handed me the bag. "Have a great day!"

As I closed the door, I turned back to Cassidy with a big smile. "It's here! We can finally eat! Gotta build a base before you drink!" I joked.

We quickly got a bottle of wine, each, and grabbed our food before heading into the living room where we both sat on the couch.

I began to flip through a few movies before finally deciding on the third Fifty Shades movie. The last time we hung out we both fell asleep before we could finish watching.

The food was good, I'd only taken a few bites from mine. Despite being starving, the wine wasn't agreeing with me and the smell of the food was horrid to me.

As the movie continued, there was a scene in which Ana got a call from her doctor, realizing that she hadn't gotten her latest dose of birth control.

"Man, that's gotta suck," I commented. "I'm so glad I've never missed a pill."

Cassidy shrugged. "Luckily you still get something wonderful out of it. Especially if it's with someone you love," she commented.

I nodded as we continued to watch. When Ana realized that she hadn't had a period in quite some time, I nearly stopped breathing. When was the last time I had mine? I began to think back...

"Oh shit," I said out loud. My eyes were wide as I came to the realization.

"I know! Her and Christian are gonna have a baby! I wonder how he'll react," Cassidy replied as she took a sip of her wine.

"No, Cass!" I shot back, my breathing labored. This couldn't be real. I hadn't had my period in nearly two months. I was supposed to have it at that moment.

She looked back at me with concerned eyes. "What, Jen? What's wrong?" She leaned over and clicked the lamp on.

"I think I'm pregnant! I haven't had a period in two months!" I exclaimed.

Tears began to pull from my eyes.