Something Is Missing | Ronnie Radke

Chapter 15- Cocaine

** Ronnie's POV **

"R-Ronnie, I need you." Was all that rang through my head as my leg bounced up and down. I was sitting on the plane, which had just begun it's descent to Nashville.

While I'd gotten better over the two months that I hadn't heard from Jenny, things slowly got better. I was going back to the studio on a regular basis, and we were preparing to announce some release dates.

After a long night at the studio, I'd gone home and instantly crashed the minute my head hit the pillow. My music was the best distraction and medicine for my broken heart— but I always knew no matter what that I would have a soft spot for Jenny.

That's why when she called I hopped in the first flight to Nashville, not telling anyone where I was going.

The sound of her voice broke my heart. I'd heard her mad, I'd heard her upset, but I'd never heard her so broken.

I was shocked when I heard her voice. All it did was run through my head. "R-Ronnie, I need you," she sobbed into the phone.

I sat straight up from the bed as my eyes snapped open. Any bit of tiredness I had was gone. "What?! Jenny, are you okay!? Where are you?!"

She let out a small gasp on the other end of the phone, clearly crying. "P-Please. You're the only one," she mumbled into the phone.

My stomach knotted as she said that. What had happened?! My mind began running, millions of miles a minute. "Where are you, baby?" My voice was soft, trying to get her to calm down a bit.

"I'm at a gas station," she managed to get out. "I'm waiting for an Uber. I don't know what to do, Ronnie. I'm just..."

I glanced over at my clock and let out a sigh. It was just past midnight back in Nashville. "Why don't you go to sleep when you get home? I will be at yours before you wake up. I promise you," I told her.

"O-Okay," she sobbed. "I'm sorry Ronnie. I'm so sorry."

"Hey," I said softly. "There's no need to be sorry. Just get home safely. Okay? I will be there as soon as I can, baby."

"Thank you, Ronnie," she sobbed on the other side. "I love you."

My broken heart warmed a bit. "I love you, too baby."

As the plane finally touched down, I let out a small sigh of relief. I was less than 45 minutes from her. 45 minutes from being there for her.

All I wanted was to get to her as soon as possible, so when we were able to get off the plane, I grabbed my bag and made a mad dash for the car rentals.

Luckily there were no lines and I was able to get my car fast. As I rushed to her place, my heart continued to race. I prayed that she wasn't just drunk and that she actually needed me.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she needed and wanted me, though. Despite how much she hated me for what I had done and what I had alluded to, she could never hate me. And we both knew that.

As I got to her place, I ran out of the car and up to her place, leaving my bag behind. I was so thankful that she took me with her to get clothes when I was here, so I knew where she lived.

When I got to her door, I lightly knocked and waited for a few seconds. When the door finally swung opened, I didn't have time to react— she just flung herself into my arms.

"R-Ronnie," she sobbed into my chest. She only began to squeeze me tighter. "You're here."

I hugged her back and rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. "Hey, why don't we head in? We can sit on the couch," I told her.

We moved into the living room, the door closing behind us. The room was dark, but I didn't care. As we sat down on the couch, she crawled into my lap and cried into my chest.

"Shh baby," I whispered and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "It's okay. It's okay."

We sat there as she began to calm down. When she finally did, she looked up at me and shook her head. "I just... I've never faced it... Not since that day," she mumbled and shook her head.

"Faced what, baby," I asked as I ran a hand through her hair. The sun was beginning to rise, so her face began to be clear.

She blinked and shook her head. "Cocaine," she said.

My blood ran cold. I knew she had a past with it. And she was clean, but did she have a relapse? Did someone give it to her?

Before I could speak up, she did. "It was there," she mumbled. "At that stupid party. I just... It triggered... I couldn't stay there. I couldn't be around it. I ran."

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. "Are you okay, though? You didn't..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to make it true.

She shook her head. "N-No... I just... The flashbacks," she whispered.

I nodded. I understood what she meant. It's terrible and I would never wish for anyone to go through that. "It's okay, Baby. I get it. I really do," I reassured. "I'm glad you called me."

"You're the only one I could call. No one knows about my past with drugs," she replied. "I just... I'm sorry for everything. Thank you for coming. I've needed you for a while now."

It was like music to my ears hearing that. "I love you, Jenny. I'm sorry for what I did. I wasn't going to follow through," I told her as I tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was just going to spend more time with you. That was all I wanted. I know you want to go on tour and I respect that."

A small smile made its way to her face before it was wiped off. She looked down, then looked up to meet my eyes.

She was glowing in the light of the sunrise soaking through the window. "What's going through your head, baby?"

Jen let out a sigh and grabbed ahold of the hand I had on her thigh. She looked up to meet my eyes as she shook her head. "Ronnie, I need to tell you something," she whispered.

She placed both of our hands on her abdomen. "What's that, Jenny?" I was so mesmerized by her blue eyes. A smile was on my face.

"Ronnie," she mumbled as she kept her eyes locked with mine.

"I'm pregnant."