Sharing Sanjivani -Part 4

(474) How to be free from doubt and have faith in ...?

How to be free from doubt and have faith in power of Paramatma only?

श्रते दधामि प्रथमाय मन्यवेङहन् यदस्युं नर्य्यम् विवेरपः।

उभे यत्वा रोदसी धावतामनुभ्यसात्ते शुष्मात्पृथिवी चिदद्रिव।। (सामवेद4/3/10)

O, God! I see your Rudra Swaroop as you are furious now mainly on us, the human beings. Your anger had killed many Rakshasas and your anger had broken clouds and forces them to shower water on earth. When the whole earth is under your control and the entire universe, galaxy feels fear of your wrath, who am I? I am afraid of your anger as you can make and mar within a wink of an eye but I know you are a merciful father who punishes us only to purify our mind and body. You scold us only to be loyal to the universe and share justly whatever you give us among all the livings without being greedy and selfish. My hope and fear go arm in arm as there is no fear without hope and no hope could sustain without fear. I have faith in your power and in myself too as I am your part though corrupted by Sansar...This testing period cannot shake my faith in you because faith in your plans and methods of your testing is different from person to person but I know my faith is tested when the horizon before me seems the darkest in hours of distress.

I know, Faith transcends reason and during this testing period when I see the horizon in its blackest form, my reason is beaten down to the grave but faith would shine brightest and you come out to my rescue. As I see stars behind the bars of a prison, not mud that may turn into a bog and absorbs my existence because I know...

असङगोहं असङगोहं असङगोह्म पुनः पुनः।

सच्चिदानन्दरुपोङहमहमेवाहमव्ययः।। (ब्रह्मज्ञानावली—1)

I am separated from you but I am a part of you. I should not accompany myself with Sansar. I surrender to you and you are my only companion birth after birth. You only remain with me. If I doubt you, whom could I trust then? Through my senses, I experience eight part of Paramatma's manifested forms in the five elements, emotions, intelligence, and identity beyond this is Paramatma's un-manifested form that supports all the objects of the universe and holds all the livings and non-living, as a string holds all the pearls together in a necklace. Hence I have to my senses under your lotus CHARAN feet and urges you; O God! At the hour of death bless my mind to be filled with devotion. Bless me that my breathing could be stilled in your Swaroop. Bless my attention focusing on your mercy and bless me your company. You think of me and come to welcome me to be under your holy shrine though I am not a saint or pious or holy person, NATRA SNSHAY: There is no doubt that you listen to my prayer and you forgive even Rakshasas. I understand that there is a difference between knowing and believing TATVAT VETTI . As a person I know what should I should do but my faith is shaken now, I am depressed. My knowledge, my belief my mental system knows the difference between good and bad but I cannot follow the good always; I am full of VIKAR and Tamas elements. I cannot refrain from negativity or anger and jealousy, envy, and greediness but I know you forgive all my mistakes and accept me as yours.

When Vibhishan had been punished by Rawan and he had to abandon Lanka, the motherland, he was upset but when he met his brother Kuber and God Mahadev met him and advised him to seek surrender under Shri Ram. In that case, though seemingly bad was done by his brother Rawan, it proves good for him as in SUNDAR KAND Tulsidasji says:

अंतहुभाव भलो भाईको, कियो अनभलो मनाइकै।

भइ कूबरकी लात, बिधाता राखी बात बनाइकै।।( गीतावली-3)

In the end, my brother's anger proves good for me, though his intentions seem bad. Paramatma has saved me and the hatred and kicking of Rawan become kicking of KHUNDH-KUBAR for me just as kicking makes the backbone straight, kicking of Rawan becomes the cause of Darshanam of Shri Ram and now I can surrender myself to my God. Now my new life would begin under the shelter of Shri Ram just as a learned man's life begins with the moment of conception, a saint's life begins with the moment, he gets human birth and a common man feels that his life would begin when he would be free from all his responsibilities, the moment the children do not need his support and all his debts of DEV, PITRU and Guru have been paid off.

Paramatma says; अहं सर्वस्य प्रभवोःAHAM SARVAVSVA PRABHAVO.

I am the root cause of the birth of every kind of livings MANAS, NADAJ, BINDUJ, UDVIJJ, JARAYUDH, ANDAJ, and Swedaj. It seems that he dwells in all the livings and non-living. He accompanies PARA and APARA Prakruti and he is the only BIJ of all livings. He only exists after Pralay. He only takes all the forms which we see or which are unseen. When a person accepts this, he would be free from doubt and fear hence his unshakable faith in Paramatma lives stable.

જ્યાં લગી આત્મા તત્વ ચીન્યો નહિ,ત્યાં લગી સાધના સર્વ જૂઠી

માનુષી દેહ તારો એળે ગયો,માવઠાંની જેમ વૃષ્ટિ વૂઠી(નરસિંહ મહેતા)

To be eligible for God's favor one should have faith in HIM and self too as a part of HIM. Unless and until he has the sense that he is not different from Paramatma but only when he feels unification with HIM. Even if he studies Shastras or worships God, his faith cannot be stable because his knowledge and devotion to God have roots of doubts. He is not STHITPRAGYA.

पठन्तु शास्त्राणि यजन्तु देवान् कुर्वन्तु कर्माणि भजन्तु देवताः।

आत्मैक्यबोधेन विना विमुक्तर्न सिध्यति ब्रह्मशतान्तरेङपि ।।( विवेक चुडामणि- 6)

Then what is the gain of faith in Paramatma MATTA SMRUTIRGYAN...

Let us surrender to Jagat Guru Lord Shri Krishna and find out our answers...