One Day • Kylo Ren x Male Reader

•Chapter 2•

(Art above made by Staypee from Deviantart)

Re-published on 26th November 2022 for minor fixes.

This chapter is kind of a mess so sorry in advance. 

*Your POV*

I've been training with Ren for 3 weeks now and I've been getting better. Both at using force and in physical training too. Sure I never win when we fight, as I'm shorter by a reasonable height, but I enjoy it. My daily schedule is quite simple, wake up at 8:00, get dressed for training then have breakfast in the mess hall, where I talk to Grace. Then arrive at the training room by 9:00. We train for 3 hours then I have lunch and then go back to my room or roam around the ship. I like training as it's the only time I get to see Ren without his mask on. I understand why he has to wear a mask all time time. How could you fear someone that looked so goddam handsome?

But I've also done something I've never expected to do. I've fallen in love with Ren. The Supreme Leader of the First Order. I can't tell him though. However, I have a feeling that eventually, he'll find out.

*Kylo's POV*

I've been training Y/n for 3 weeks now and he's learning and improving well. He already had some basic hand-to-hand skills so we moved on from that to using weapons like blasters and staffs moderately quickly.
But that feeling I felt when we first met is still there. It only appears during training, the only time I see him, and whenever I think of him, which is happening more frequently. I've been trying to figure out what exactly am I feeling but I can't. Despite my many attempts at finding the right label for this feeling, I can tell that one day I'll find it. 

*Your POV*

My training uniform is a black long-sleeved shirt and black shorts with red stripes on the sides.

(Looks like the photos above but without the logos and the shirt has long sleeves)

We enter the training room, do some sparring, and then do some meditation to clear our minds on the floor.
"Ok, today we are learning about mind barriers and entering people's minds," Ren says. "Reach out to me first." I then close my eyes and start reaching out to Ren through the force. It doesn't take long as he's less than a meter away from me. His force signature is strong so it's hard to miss. "Now enter my mind, you should be able to know what I'm thinking about." I try to but I can't. After several attempts, Ren tells me to open my eyes. "It's ok, that's the harder way." Why did he get me to do the harder way first? He holds my right hand and places my fingertips on the temple of his head. Something about him holding me feels wrong but right at the same time. Fuck why am I like this? "This is the easiest way. Now try again," he continues. I close my eyes once more and try to enter his mind. I then find out what he is thinking about. Muffins. He is thinking about muffins. I exit his mind and open my eyes. I remove my hand from his head and he smiles at me.
"Muffins? Really, it had to be muffins?"
"Ok, now it's my turn." He raises his right arm, with his hand next to my head, but not touching it. "This is the second easiest way to enter someone's mind but it allows you to read more. Can you feel me?" I feel him enter my mind. He isn't in yet, but it's like he's waiting at the front door of a house, waiting to enter. I nod and he stares at me.
"Is staring necessary?"
"Yes now, try to take down your mental barrier." he lowers his hand and I feel him leave my head.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I can't get into your mind because your walls are up." Oh. I concentrate and remove the wall around my mind, but I keep it around my feelings for Ren. 
He lifts his hand once more I can feel his presence return. It's more present as he's looking through my mind. It hurts, but only a little. I could get used to this.

*Kylo's POV*

I look in Y/n's mind and I see myself from just seconds ago telling him to take his mental barrier down, then him eating breakfast from this morning as he talked to a person. Then memories of our past training sessions. Next, I find an area of his mind that is just blank. Or so I thought. Y/n is sitting in the middle of the dark area sitting criss-cross and picking the petals off a yellow flower. "I love him," he picks a petal off. "I love him not," and picks off another petal. This continues until he picks off the last petal and says, "I love him." Y/n smiles and puts what's left of the flower down and it falls into the black void. "I know I love him silly. Why would  I need a flower to tell me I love Ren?" What did he just say? Y/n loves me. Then I'm pushed out of his mind.

*Your POV*

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking hell. I hide my face in my hands and start crying. I try to stop but I can't. There's no point. He knows I love him and now he's probably- "Y/n." I feel his hand on my shoulder. I slowly remove my hands from my face and look up at him. His eyes are slightly brighter than before. "It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you. That would be stupid." He then stands up and walks over to the bench where our stuff is. He puts on his armour and helmet before heading to the door of the training room. He opens it and before he leaves he says, "No training tomorrow." I nod, wiping the tears from my face. He then walks out into the maze of hallways, closing the door behind him. I get up and walk over to the bench where my water bottle is. I chug the remaining half and head back to my room to change and shower.

*Kylo's POV*

I force the door to my quarters open and head straight to the table, sitting down on a chair. I start to think about what I had found back in the training room. He has feelings for me. He loves me. And I think the feeling I feel towards him that I've been trying to label is also love. Great.  Snoke had told me that love was a bad thing, that it will pull me back to the light. But now he's dead so why should I follow what he told me?  Maybe I should just ignore my feelings, but then I somehow know doing that will just make it worse. I groan in frustration, hiding my face in my gloved hands.

- Lake :)