Let Me Down | John Murphy

Peace?

Okay, so I may not be able to update everyday, but I'm definitely trying to keep it regular. Thank you for all of your support :) You guys are so appreciated!

Chapter 30

From the minute the flame hit the wood, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. There he was. About to burn up and be gone... forever. It must've been hard for Clarke to send him on his way, but then again, she was the one who killed him. Maybe Finn's death was easier for her to live with than I once thought.

Why can't I feel that?

Even without feelings, I still can't imagine a world where Finn is gone. I mean, look at me. I can't look at him. My eyes simply won't allow it.

And I guess that's normal. I guess I'm acting the appropriate way, but it still doesn't bring me comfort, or help me accept my attitude towards this. Nothing will. No matter what.

I feel John's hand reach for mine, which I accept. Despite what's been going on, and despite my current state of mind, John has been a constant for me. He's been there when I needed him... well, lately he has. Before he wasn't, but hey, everybody makes mistakes.

He asked me if I wanted him to come, and I didn't hesitate to say 'yes'.

Even without emotions, I need him.

Of course, I wouldn't admit that to anyone. Not even him.

What can I say? That was how I was raised.

Thanks, mother.

The idea of 'needing someone' was never something Elizabeth Brady could fathom. But I mean, I guess that happens when your husband was the joke of the ark.

Note to self: If you're going to marry a man, make sure they're not an alcoholic rapist.

Yeah, John will work nicely.

"We'll never forget him," I hear John whisper as Finn's body turns into ash.

"Never," I agree, still only resting my gaze on the flames and not Finn's corpse.

Goodbye, Finn.

...

Before long, we found ourselves feasting with the grounders.

I know. It sounds insane, but somehow we were creating this 'peace' between our people. Apparently sending a friend to their death and having drinks after to celebrate, automatically makes you besties with the enemy.

We can all thank Clarke for that.

"Please accept this gift, commander," Kane says, holding a bottle for the grounders. "We drink this at special occasions. I believe this qualifies."

"Thank you, Marcus of the sky people."

"You're welcome, Lexa," he nods before trying to pronounce her clan in their foreign language.

Ugh! Such a suck up.

"Just, uh, don't drink too much of it," Kane adds.

"Clarke, let us drink together," Lexa decides.

"It would be my pleasure," Clarke smiles.

I watch Lexa pour two glasses and hand one over to Clarke whilst the other went to the grounder next to her.

You got to admit, she is smart. If she drank from it and there was something in it that could kill her, they'd all be screwed.

Despite the commander being one we may not be able to trust, I do believe her and I would see eye to eye on some things.

"Tonight, we celebrate our newfound peace. Tomorrow, we plan our war," I watch Lexa raise her glass. "To those we've lost. And to those we shall soon find."

However, just as they were about to drink from their glasses, the grounder who originally tested the drink, suddenly fell onto the table, starting to cough and struggle for breath.

"It's poison," one determines before Bellamy knocks the glass from Clarke's hand.

Oh fuck!

"It was the sky people!" Indra announces, pulling out her sword.

Both Bellamy and John make their way in front, guarding us from the grounders.

"This wasn't us. You have to know it wasn't us," Clarke begs.

The grounders start talking in their language, reminding me of Billie's muttering in her sleep when she had her nightmares.

God, if only I knew what they actually were saying.

"No. No. We didn't do this," Clarke continues to protest as they start to make their way towards us.

"Gustus warned me about you, but I didn't listen," Lexa growls.

"Lexa, please."

"Tell me something, Clarke. When you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved... did you not wish that it was mine?" Lexa asks, though she doesn't need an answer.

Clarke's face says it all.

"Heda," we all hear Gustus call as he pulls a vial out of Raven's pocket.

"That's not mine," Raven states.

He hands it over to Lexa.

"I'm telling you. That's not mine. He put it there when he searched me."

Yeah, they weren't fun being all handsy. I almost punched one of them.

When one got a little too comfortable, John's eyes went mad. Apparently, even he could see that the grounder was being too much.

Wonder why these grounders were never taught about boundaries.

"No sky person leaves this room," Lexa announces.

As they walk out, we watch Lincoln try to reason with Indra, but unfortunately for us, they could see how our people had tamed him.

What the fuck are we going to do now?