Let Me Down | John Murphy

A Little More Violent Than Before

Chapter 1

A week ago...

My entire body ached, plagued by an overwhelmingly large pain that my body couldn't subside. It was horrific. I didn't know how long I would be able to fight off death, but I held my ground as best as I could. I wouldn't let it be the end of me. Even if I were far away from the others, I couldn't let this be the end of my story. After all, I still felt Dawn somewhere on this planet. A mother's bond is that strong, even after only one day of her actually being present with us.

I won't die, Dawn. I'm going to find you.

At least, I hoped I would. But with the grounder who held me capture, it was hard to know if I'd ever make it out.

The blonde held motive as she stared among my broken body. She didn't seem as violent as the others, but looks did deceive me that day.

I remember the torture starting and ending with cuts from many different blades, decorating my body as she searched for answers.

"What is this?" She demanded, tossing an old photo my way.

But I shook my head, and told her I didn't know.

If only I had made something up. It would've made a huge difference, if I had.

I've been running for days, and it's exhausting. My head aches from the pounding demand for water, my stomach has been growling at me for quite some time, and my body still feels sore from the endless torture of Billie, which I am now glad to be away from.

I got away, but it wasn't easy. The grounder, Billie, had made my escape near to impossible, barricading all exits with truth from the past that I'm still trying to overcome. It wasn't easy to hear, yet I know now of all the lies my life has been plastered with to try and cover up the embarrassment known as the Brady family.

If I could see my mother right now, I'm not sure of what I would say. Too many lies have told, too many heartbreaks to count. And if I've learnt anything from that, I know I will not raise my child into that toxic life.

I make my way down to a stream and begin to dab my face lightly to cleanse my skin.

Yes, my face is bloody. You can thank Billie for that.

With every wince, I come closer and closer to a clean face.

The blood may fade, but the scars won't.

I will never be the same. A child changes that. Torture changes that. Having to fight to stay alive, changes that. You don't see yourself anymore. You only see the warrior you've transformed into.

I was weak before, and now I'm stronger. I know now not to take anybody's crap. If you want something, you take it because it's a kill or be killed, kind of world. And I will not be the one dying. Not now, not ever.

I need her. I need to make sure she's alive and well.

I jump back to my feet, and continue my run, stumbling down hills, getting whacked by trees, getting a symptom of every kind to tell the story of how I fought to get back to my family.

Dawn. I need my Dawn.

Over and over, my mind takes me back to my newborn. Reminiscing in the smell of her head, her tiny fingers wrapping around my forefinger, even her cries. As painful as a wailing baby can be for the ears, I miss hearing it. I miss hearing the sound of my child craving food, sleep, or attention. I miss seeing her beautiful features blossom within every second of her being on earth. I just- I just miss her.

Where is my baby?

My almost empty boobs, call her name.

Yes, I hated the pain. It was sore and tiring. But feeling the connection you gain when breastfeeding is something I never want to lose. It brings you closer somehow. I can't describe the feeling, I just know I need it back.

Wherever you are, I will find you.

And I keep going, continuing my journey to my daughter, until something stops me. Something I never thought I'd see. Someone I believed had died.

His dark features remain the same, yet blood has joined his face. A lot of it, too. His eyes light up that beautiful brown I had long missed as he makes contact with me.

"Quinn?" He half doesn't believe it as he speaks.

Smiling, "Bellamy," before running over and throwing myself into his arms.

In all my life, I never believed I'd be leaping into my baby daddy's arms the way I am right now. The old me would've laughed at the idea of it.

"I found you," he breathes out, pulling me away and examining my face. "What happened?"

Shaking my head, I look down at the ground. "You don't want to know."

"Quinn?" I hear someone gasp, which I instantly recognise as Finn.

I meet his embrace and continue the reunion with Monroe and Sterling.

"I'm so glad to see you guys made it out alive I-"

I stop all speech the moment I spot him. His thick dark hair, dark blue eyes, and bloody face, immediately identify him.

Grabbing the small blade from my left boot, I raise it up and point it at him.

"What the fuck is he doing here!" I scream, beyond pissed he has the audacity to stand there in front of me with a kind face.

"Whoa, whoa!" Bellamy moves to lower my weapon. "Take it easy, Quinn."

"Easy?" I spit. "Why the fuck should I take it easy, Bellamy? He tried to kill you!"

"I know, okay?" He says, taking a look back at John before rejoining my eyes. "I know. I want him dead, too. But we can't do that right now. He knows where the grounders keep their prisoners. If the others are there, we'll find them."

His explanation may make sense to him, but it doesn't to me. I want him dead.

"Bellamy-"

"What if Dawn's there?"

The name of my daughter, brings my sanity back. I start to realise how my momma bear instincts have taken over.

"If she's there, I'll kill them," I grit my teeth before walking off, knowing we must find this location ASAP.

When I don't hear further footsteps, I sigh, "are you coming then, or what?"

Some people are too slow at reacting.