the beginning of the end | fillie

twenty-two

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
• THINGS THOUGHT THROUGH •

"millie? you in there?" jason knocks on the door, "we have school."

she lazily looks up at the door and then looks down again.

"millie? it's me now! open up!" tommy then knocks.

she sighs from the ground and then brings the vodka bottle to her lips.

"i'm breaking in!" robbie shouts and soon the door unlocks.

"mills?" they shout into the apartment before her room door swings open.

"jesus fuck, mills." ethan breathes out, "you've been out of school for three days for drinking?"

she hums and continues to drink.

"what happened?" robbie asks, sitting down next to her.

"want a sip?" she whispers and waves the bottle.

"no. it's seven in the morning." he denies.

"whatever then." she mutters.

"who did you fight?" he asks, pointing to her face, "some random person in a back alley." she answers quietly.

"lovely. now come on, get up, we have school." he says as she shakes her head.

"you can beat a few people up, have some sex and then school will be over." tommy tells her as she sighs, "i don't wanna get up."

leo drags her up, "there we go. let's just get you changed and some makeup on."

"are you calling me ugly?" she asks as he groans, "no!"

she huffs as he sighs, "come on, mills. you can't let him get to you."

"i'm not."

"he is. finn told us." he whispers.

she rolls her eyes, "of course he did. annie too?"

they nod as she laughs sarcastically, "wow. now this is why i don't tell people shit."

"millie-"

"no, don't fucking millie me. all of you, shut the fuck up. you have no idea what the hell im going through or what i am feeling!" she scolds, "you have no idea."

"then explain it to us because we just want to help." ethan says softly.

"help? i don't need help and i don't want help!" she pushes him as he hits her desk.

"mill-"

"IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! all i kept doing was blame him for bella when in reality it was my fault!" she breathes out and places a hand on her head.

"MILLIE STOP!" leo shouts as she purses her lips together.

"bella was not your fault, okay? you made the correct decision and it wasn't like you wanted to, millie. you had no ability to take care of her, you chose to get an abortion because you did not want your baby to suffer. she's up there with jade now, all happy and you said it yourself that if you had her, she wouldn't survive in an environment like that! your baby is safe in heaven with jade, i don't think you would rather you giving birth to her and suffer with you."