the beginning of the end | fillie

thirty

CHAPTER THIRTY
• WE'RE BOTH DYING •

"who's finn?"

"what do you mean who's finn? who are you!?" millie exclaims, "where am i!?" she cries.

"millie... do you not recognise me?" she asks.

millie calms down a bit and stares at her. she digs deep into her memories and that's when a lot of things rush back to her.

her memories as a child, her memories from school, her memories from everything, her memories of this woman adopting her when she was five and now a woman she calls— "mom."

"yes, millie. it's me." she cries and caresses her face.

"i want finn, get me finn." millie sobs and looks up at her with pleading eyes.

"honey, i don't think you ever mentioned a finn." she softly says.

millie shakes her head and tries to get out to the bed but winces loudly in pain, "what's wrong with me?" she cries, "what the hell is wrong with me?" she sobs uncontrollably as she hugs her tightly, "you're okay."

"tell me what's wrong with me!" hot tears stream down her face and drop onto the white sheets.

"do you not remember?" she murmurs.

millie freezes and closes her eyes, trying to think hard on what happened in this lifetime of here. WAS THIS EVEN A DIFFERENT LIFETIME? because things from the lifetime with her and finn are slowly fading away when she is trying to think too hard.

was finn real?

"no..." she whispers as she remembers. she snaps her head around, "my baby. is she okay? tell me my bella is okay!"

"she didn't make it, sweetheart." she whispers against her.

millie sobs, "no. no, no. was it my fault? did i hurt her when i attempted!? oh my god." she cries.

"no, no. it was him. she died from the impact on your stomach. she was so small and delicate, there was no way she could've survived." she murmurs.

millie cries loudly, "give me my baby back! i want my baby back!" she slams her fist down on the bed.

"millie, calm down-"

"i want my baby! i want finn! i want the pain to go away!"

the nurse then rushes in with a doctor as she continues to cry in her mother's chest.

"millie, you can't get out of bed just yet, you're too injured. i need you to lay back down for me." the nurse says softly.

"no!" she cries.

"t-the boys. where are the boys?" millie asks, grabbing her mother's arm tightly.

"who?" she asks.

"stupid tommy and robbie and jason and leo and ethan!" she sobs, "a-and jade! and annie and violet and- i just want finn. please." she begs.