Won't let go

Chapter 24

We spent the whole time wrapped up in each other. We both had the other person wrapped around each other's fingers. After our vacation, we went back to London. I had a big Victoria Secret show and Tom might have been a little bit spicy after that.

He was now starting to film far from home, and was getting happier as the days went on. But I could see he was kinda stressed. He was always texting someone and constantly on the phone. It was probably just about the movie so I wasn't too worried.

He then walked through the door after a long day of work.

Tom: " hello love."

He said as he walked over to the kitchen counter where I was sitting and kissed my forehead.

You: " how was your day?"

Tom: " it was really good but I'm really sweaty so I'm gonna go take a quick shower."

He kissed my forehead again before running up the stairs. Just as I heard the water turn on his phone buzzed. We both are very open and have each other's faces in each other's phones so I opened it up.

Bob: " hey Tom I've got your marriage sheets so whenever you're ready you and Zendaya can sign them"

Marriage? He's married? To Zendaya? What? This makes no sense that's a joke right? When did this happen? Omg I'm a slut! I'm a mistress a freaking home wrecker. What the heck! And Zendaya?! That can't be right.

How could he do this to me. I trusted him. I loved him. Tears then started to flood down my face. I can't believe he lied. I lied down on the counter crying my eyes out. I wanted to scream, run, leave, hit, break, do every violent thing you could think of. But the one thing that I couldn't get out of my head was what he told me that night in bora bora.

" I love you so much Abby. You mean the world to me. Heck you are my world. And I can't wait to spend my life with you. And when I know you are ready you are gonna see me down on one knee holding a ring. And you bet your ass it's gonna be a big one. My point is, no matter what happens I will only ever want you."

It was all a lie? I swear every time I let someone in they break me in to pieces. And it takes years to recover. Timothee took two years but Tom? Omg it's gonna take my whole life to get over this man.

Tom: " hey love. Why are you lying on the counter?"

He then got closer.

Tom: " oh my god love why are you crying?"

He said as he put his hand on my cheek. I sat up and moved his hand off my face.

You: " don't touch me."

I said as I got off the counter walking upstairs.

Tom: " Abby love are you ok?"

He asked in his beautiful soft concerning voice. His voice used to be the only thing that claimed me down. But now just hearing his footsteps is making me feel, used, yet useless. Like I was only with him so he could prove himself to the world.

Tom: " Abby why are you so mad at me? What did I do?"

I turned around to face him, covered in tears.

You: " you want to know why I'm so mad? Why my face is covered in tears and mascara? It's because you are married Tom! Married. You didn't tell me? You lied. You told me you loved me. That I was the only one. But you are married. And not to just anyone, but Zendaya! You married a fucking queen. I'm just up right trash you were using to make yourself feel better."

I walked into our shared bedroom and grabbed all of my clothes out of the closet.

Tom: " no Abby what are you doing? We can work this out. I was trying to divorce her. I've been trying since last summer to divorce her."

He was starting to cry.

You: " I'm going back home. I need time Tom. You told me I was the only one. But you lied. You cheated on Zendaya. And you never even told me that you dated. It's not like you told me you dated and it turns out you are married and you told me that in the beginning and tried to sort it out. No. You tried to do it behind my back Tom. I could have helped. We could have got it done quickly and everything would have been ok. But you decided to hid it. And now how do I know that you're not hiding anything else?"

Tom: " Abby I promise I'm not hiding anything else. Can we just talk about this?"

I've never seen him cry like that. He walked over to me and placed his hands on my hips.

Tom: " please."

I looked down, biting my lip trying to clear my head. My mind was going 50 km a second and I could feel my hands start to shake. I then looked into his pleading eyes tilting my head.

You: " no."
___
I whispered.

Tom: " no?"

You: " no Tom. I can't."

He wrapped his arms around me and slid down to his knees hugging my hips. I put my hands in his hair.

You: " I used to look at you and see someone who loved me so much that they could never lie, cheat, betray me, anything that could possibly hurt a person. But now you are a completely different person to me. You're a stranger now. You are not the Tom Holland I know and love."

Tom: " Abby."

He sniffled.

Tom: " please love, I promise that it was just a mistake. I thought that we were already divorced."

You: " that doesn't change the fact that you didn't tell me anything."

Tom: " please, darling."

He stood up.

Tom: " I don't know what I would ever do without you. Without your laugh."

His hand cupped my cheek. I leaned into it. The control he has over me.

Tom: " your smile, your perfect heart. The love you have for everyone and everything. Your fingers, your hair. Oh god and your lips. Please love don't go."

You: " I have to Tom."

I couldn't stop crying.

You: " you don't know how much I don't want to go. But I can't stay."

Tom: " love please. You are the one I want to be with until I'm grey and old."

You: " Tom please let me go."

I cried.

Tom: " Abby no. Please, please, please, please no. Don't make me let go."

I looked down at the ground. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face so my eyes could meet his.

Tom: " I love you."

He said. His voice cracking every other word.

Tom: " do you love me?"

He stared into my soul with pleading eyes waiting for my answer.

You: " I don't know Tom. Right now I'm having mixed feelings."

Tom: " so you're just gonna leave when it gets hard? Abandon everything we worked for? The love that we have? You're just going to put that all behind you and pretend it never happened? Do I really mean that little to you?"

You: " oh my god. I can't believe you just said that. You know I was considering staying and listening to your bull shit but now, you've never seen me leave faster."

I slipped away, grabbed my bag off the bed and left. For good.