Leave Me [h.s] (On hold)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36- I wonder

-Noelle's POV-

I had completely stopped breathing. The idea of moving air through my lungs seemed so far away from me in this moment. How was it even possible that she was here right now? It had to be some sort of joke, or maybe I was just crazy. Could it really be my mother, just a few feet away from me, after a lifetime of absence?

"Noelle? Earth to Noelle?" Niall said to me, laying a hand on my shoulder. I recognized and heard that he was speaking to me, but my mouth was dry and my mind was racing. I couldn't form a response.

Across the room, my mother stood up from her seat, tossed her empty paper plate in the trash, and exited the pizza place. The color had been drained from my face, my eyes were wide. She hadn't even noticed me, her own child. But then again, why would she recognize me? She hasn't seen me since I was a toddler and she left me with my father.

"Noelle? You're freaking us out a little bit here." Harry's voice cut through my thoughts. Harry could always bring me back, he could always snap me back into reality.

"Sorry." I muttered quietly, turning my eyes away from the front door to focus on Harry's concerned expression.

"Do you know her or something?" Niall asked from beside me.

"No. I don't know her." I shook my head, knowing that it was the truth. That may have been my mother, but other than that, she was just as much a stranger as the people walking on the sidewalk outside of the window.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. Of course he knew that there was something more complex going on. He always knew, he could read me like a book.

"That woman was uh.... she was my mother." I said so quietly that it was a miracle that either of the boys sitting at the table heard me.

"Your mother?" Harry asked incredulously, his voice low as well. I met his eyes with mine, they were a deep shade of green that I was extremely fond of. They had a mixture of sadness and confusion laced through them as he stared at me, waiting eagerly for me to continue.

I didn't have anything else to say, so I just nodded at him. I knew he wanted to say more to me, ask me more questions, make sure that I wasn't going crazy. But he was respectful, and he knew when I didn't have answers, which I didn't have at this moment.

He gave me a knowing look, letting me know that we'd talk about it later, probably when Niall wasn't aground. I really liked Niall, and it wasn't as if I didn't trust him, I just didn't need to let him into that part of me. The part that has been damaged beyond repair by the past.

I silently thanked Harry for not pressing me further, if he had, I may have passed out.

It only took a few more minutes before Marty was coming out of the back, all of our pizza in his big hands. He set my three slices in front of me, and I suddenly had a much smaller appetite.

Marty gave us a smile and we all said thanks before he retreated back into the kitchen again.

Niall and Harry talked intently while we all ate, and I listened occasionally but I was just out of it. I wasn't built to cope with things like this, I really wasn't. Harry knew that better than anyone, so he didn't pressure me to join the conversation or anything. What would I even do without Harry? What did I ever do without Harry for all those years?

***

After we finished eating way more than any of us should have, Niall took me and Harry back to Anne's house before departing and driving back to his own home.

"Pizza was good I hope?" Anne asked when we entered the living room, where she was perched on the couch, reading a book.

"Excellent, as always." Harry replied, shoving his hands into his pockets.