Leave Me [h.s] (On hold)

Chapter 40

Chapter 40- Even if it's alone

-Harry's POV-

"She told you that? I mean, those were her exact words?" Niall asked me right when he rushed through the front door of the apartment.

"Yes." I choked out, my voice thick with the beginnings of tears. I wasn't one to cry, I hardly ever did it.

"Mate, today really isn't your day is it?" Niall asked with a sigh, coming over to sit on the couch next to me.

"Not really." I said with a sigh, doing my best to not let the tears roll down my cheeks. I ran a shaky hand through my long hair, which was still damp from the shower I had taken after Noelle left.

"So she's in love." Niall said softly, putting a comforting hand on my knee. As soon as the words left his lips, my emotions overcame me and I let out a choked sob, the tears finally spilling down my face. I was probably a pathetic sight, but I couldn't stop the tears once they began.

"She's in love. She's in love." I whispered to myself, picturing her face in my mind when she told me. I remember how her pale cheeks flushed pink and her eyes practically danced.

"I know it's shit when someone you love is in love with someone else mate, but she's happy. And I know you just want to see her happy." Niall attempted to comfort.

"I just want her happy, but I only want her happy with me. And I know that's selfish, it's so selfish, but that's how it's always been for us, I was always the one to make her happy. And now... Now I'm just... Not." I sobbed, feeling beyond helpless.

"That's crazy talk Harry. You do make her happy, you know you do. Everyone knows you do." Niall told me. I knew he was right, I did make her happy. But the problem was that I wasn't the only one.

"We're supposed to be friends." I said, knowing that it was the truth, I knew that I wasn't supposed to feel the way that I did for her, for Noelle. But that was too much to ask, I mean she was just so her and she was just so beautiful and I didn't have the strength not to love her. I didn't want to have the strength to not love her, because god, did I want to love her.

"But you're not just friends. You know that mate, you wouldn't be here crying if you were just friends with Noelle. Friends are happy when the other falls in love, not completely gutted." Niall explained, his words making so much sense. Me and Noelle had never been friends, even when we were young, there was always something more. It wasn't always something romantic, it was just something that ran so much deeper and that was so much more important than just a friendship.

"I should be happy for her. I should, because she deserves to be in love. She deserves to be loved back. She deserves it so much more than anyone else I know." I spoke, a new rush of tears forcing itself out of my eyes.

"Harry... you don't want to hear this, but you need to tell her. You need to go to her and you need to lay everything out on the line. You can't just let it eat you alive, thinking about Zayn every time you see her face. It's not healthy." Niall spoke softly, knowing exactly what my response to that would be.

"That could ruin everything, you know it could." I said weakly, the possibilities of that scenario racing through my head. She would hate me.

"Isn't that a chance you're willing to take? For her?" Niall asked me. I was unsure of a time when Niall had said something that held that much meaning before, I mean he was usually all about joking and screwing around. The fact that those words came from his mouth, just further proved how important he thought it was for me to do this.

"I'd risk anything for her Niall." I spoke, my voice growing louder as the tears dried on my cheeks.

"Except losing her?" Niall asked rhetorically, since he knew that I couldn't even chance that.