Leave Me [h.s] (On hold)

Chapter 12

Chapter twelve- Darling

-Noelles POV-

"What?" I asked him, my heart fluttering. The feeling felt way too girly for me and I tried to make it go away, but it wouldn't. Having Harry here has been amazing, but he has caused me to have to deal with more feelings in the past day than I had allowed myself to feel in the past two years.

"If you don't want to be without me then come with me." He repeated, his voice very serious this time. So he actually meant it, he hadn't just said that to shut me up.

"Don't want to be without you? I'm not sure if is exactly put it like that." I told him nervously. But that was a huge lie, that's exactly how I would put it. I truly did not want to be without Harry again.

"Noelle, this is no time for lies." He smirked. That was another problem with Harry, he knew when I wasn't telling the truth. And having transparent lies is not a safe thing, no matter who you are. I didn't know what else to say. Of course I wanted to go with him, but there was no way in hell that I could. He studied my face with his green eyes, clearly expecting me to jump at the chance to join him on his trip to California. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I would never be able to get 5 miles away from this damn place before Wes came barreling up the road behind us in his rusty ass truck.

Harry wanted me to go with him just as much as I wanted to go with him. And that's honestly what broke my heart. Harry had done everything for me, and I couldn't even do this for him. The tears threatened my eyes for the thousandth time today. But I didn't want to cry in front of Harry, again at least.

"Harry..." I said, my voice small.

"You can't come can you? It's against the foster kid rules or something stupid like that?" He said, his eyes betraying him and displaying his disappointment for just a moment.

"Yeah. Some bullshit like that." I said, a lump rising in my throat. No more fucking tears! I scolded myself.

"I sort of already knew that. I'm sorry I asked... I mostly just said it to get you to shut up." He said, flashing me a sad smile.

"But then the idea actually sounded pretty good?"

"Yeah. Exactly." He said, taking a hand out of his pockets to comb his long fingers through his curls. I had an urge to do it as well, but I resisted. That was fucking weird. We stayed silent after that, mostly because both of us knew damn well what that meant.

We would have to walk away from each other again. That thought hurt me way more than it should have. Harry had only been here for one day, and I was dangerously attached to him. Maybe it was better that he was leaving. I was way more trouble than I was worth, I'd made that pretty clear to him in our short time together.

"Tell me I'll see you again." I blurted out. Wow. That sounded desperate as hell.

"Oh this isn't the last you'll be seeing of me Noelle. I'm still only at 5%." He smirked with sad eyes.

"Maybe 6% if you're lucky." I smiled up at him. He scoffed before he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.

The difference between this hug and the one we had shared just yesterday was drastic. That one had held so much happiness and relief. This one was just held sadness. Neither of us wanted to leave the other, and as he held me, it felt almost like it was impossible for him to leave me.

But he left just as he came, walking on the long dirt road that lead back into town. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch him walk up that road, away from me, his big hands shoved into the shallow pockets of his dusty black jeans.

Every long stride he took made the distance between us grow. It was almost unbearable. And I, of all people, knew how to live with pain.

-Harry's POV-

"Hey mate! I wasn't expecting you to be back here so soon. Things were just starting to get fun." Niall joked when I walked back into our little hotel room in Arizona. Niall was sprawled out on top of the covers in nothing but his boxers, a beer sitting on the night stand next to him.

"Uh yeah... looks like things got pretty crazy around here." I said, attempting to smile at him. But I didn't really smile.

"Things didn't go very well with Noelle?" He asked, turning the tv down a few notches.

"No things went way better than planned actually." I said, sitting down on the empty bed.

"Then what are you doing back here?" Niall inquired.

"Her... uh.... foster brother tried to fight me... so her foster dad kicked me out." I explained.

"Tried to fight you? Was it one of those things where he was older than her and was way too protective?"

"No... I wish it had been just that. Her foster brother is kind of in love with her... and he thought I was trying to steal her from him or something."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"Something like that I guess." I said, laying down.

"Well that sucks mate. But you got to see her, that was probably pretty good."

"It was. That's both a good thing and a bad thing."

"Why is it bad?"

"Because. I found her, but I can't stay with her. It probably would have been easier just not to go after her."

"Oh cry me a river Harry." Niall said suddenly. "Stop with the pity party. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into when you went after her. I mean for fucks sake, you weren't even sure that it was actually her that you saw! But you still went."

"I know you're right. I'm being a little bitch." I said.

"Yes you are. And it all stated when you actually listened to her foster dad and left. She had to leave you when you were 15. But you didn't have to leave her. You seem to know her a hell of a lot better than her dad, better than anyone really." Niall explained. I knew he was right. I didn't have to listen to Wes. But I had. Just another one of my mistakes I guess.

-Noelles POV-

I didn't eat dinner the night that Harry left. I just sat down by the river and smoked. I knew I was being stupid, letting Harry bother me this much. But it was, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I saw his smile in my mind, I saw him comb his fingers through his curls. I remembered what he'd said to me in the barn, about him caring for me.

I willed myself to stop thinking. But I couldn't. I felt like crawling into the river so that my whole body would be numb.

I hadn't even thought to get his phone number or anything. It's not like I had a phone, but there was a land line inside the house.

But he had said that we'd see each other again. So I held tight to the idea of the day that me and Harry will be able to be close again.

Note: I wrote this while I was at school so it's a little bit shorter, but I really wanted to get an update up for you guys. Thank you for reading and voting and stuff :) stay fab I love you.