Nesscas Oneshots Galore

Immortal

So, I figured I'd at least get something out this week rather than nothing. So I pumped this out with absolutely zero preplanning. I hope you enjoy :)

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Lucas: *clap*

Ness: *clap*

Ninten: *clap*

Claus: *clap*

Ness: what the hell happened?

Claus: sorry, missed my hand

Lucas: how do you miss your hand?

Claus: I was looking at my screen and I guess my spatial awareness sucks ass. I dunno what else to say

Ninten: alright, welcome to this episode of the podcast. We still don't have a name, but what we do have, is a can do attitude

Lucas: and dick jokes

Ninten: yes, and a plethora of dick jokes

Claus: so Ninten, you were practically bursting at the seems with topics

Ninten: well it isn't really a topic, so much as a story

Ness: well let's hear it

Ninten: so me and my family were some town in the middle of podunk bumblefuck nowhere, for like some weird fucking dancing thing-

Claus: w-wait...you went to one without me?

Ninten: well this was leagues different from the ones we go to. This was like old pop wiggleberry's jamboree type shit

Claus: well I guess that makes sense...

Ninten: so anyways, we were walking down the street, and there was like this level 100 crackhead in one of the alleys we passed. And, hehe, I-I think they were pissing over a pile of rat corpses while muttering "if I had enough money, I'd rape people"

Ness: Wh-What the fuck...!?

Claus: Who was he, like a wanna be Harvey Weinstein?

Ninten: I dunno, but it was pretty fuckin wild

Lucas: Well did you talk to him?

Ninten: Fuck no, are you kidding me? I feel like he would've gone all Ed Gein on me and made like furniture out of my cock or something

Ness: W-Well I imagine that there wouldn't be much, like, material there to make furniture out of it-

Claus: Oh-ho...you have no idea...

Lucas: Well now that we've thoroughly weirded out everyone listening, I think we should switch topics. Now I have a sheet open here-

Claus: Oh god

Lucas: What do you mean "Oh god"? You don't even know what I have open

Claus: Is it those hypotheticals?

Lucas: ...Well you don't know what exact hypotheticals I have open so fuck off

Lucas: Alright, so as I was saying before Claus rudely interrupted, I have some hypotheticals open that I think would be fun to do

Ninten: Ughhhhh...

Lucas: What, you got a better topic?

Claus: Well I played this real cool hentai game-