Nesscas Oneshots Galore

Child Fuhrer

Lucas: *Clap*

Ninten: *Clap*

Ness: *Clap*

Claus: *Clap*

Ness: Hello everybody...I have a mild hangover, so my apologies if my vernacular isn't as lexical as it usually is antidisestablishmentarianism

Claus: Well boys, I just left my masterbatorium uncleaned, so I hope those ants don't get any ideas

Ninten: Hello comrades, and welcome to podcast

Lucas: What the fuck was that?

Ninten: I was trying to do a Russian accent

Lucas: You call that a Russian accent, pussy

Ninten: Oh alright Mr. "I Can't Reach The Top Shelf" and "4 Inches Is Enough," let's see you do better

Claus: Oh boy, here we go

Lucas: Oh, alright...Как ты смеешь подвергать сомнению великую мощь советского беспомощного труса!?

Ness: What in the deep fried fuck?

Claus: Lucas knows like every language, it's pretty cool

Lucas: Without me, we would still be in Saudi Arabia

Ninten: Well you wouldn't be living there for much longer, given certain laws they have

Ness: Well after that downer of a statement, I guess I'll do the intro. Hello! Welcome to the EB Podcast. No we are not associated with EB Games, please don't sue us Canadian Gamestop

Claus: Well since we're going after low hanging fruit, with anti-gay laws and such, I figured we'd continue this trend of shitting on things that everyone hates. What's your boys' opinion on pedophiles? Serial killers? The last season of Game of Thrones?

Lucas: Dislike, dislike, like

Claus: I never heard so much wrong crammed into one sentence before, my god

Ness: You did hear the first two, right?

Ninten: Yeah he did, he just hates how that show ended so much. At my place, he keeps a stack of photos of George RR Martin for us to destroy on Date Nights

Claus: Ughhh, so you want me to get into that fat fuck?

Lucas: No, god no, we don't have six hours. Plus, I brought a hypothetical

Ness: Ooh, what is it?

Lucas: If you boys could send a message or an object to a person in the past, what would you send/say, and who would it be to?

Claus: Viagra and modern Sex Toys to the Ancient Greeks

Lucas: God, imagine what that'd do. It'd fucking enhance them, put them into overdrive

Claus: And then I'd develop a time machine to go back and join them

Ness: As if your original answer wasn't horny enough, you tack that little nugget on there

Ninten: I mean, there's not much you could send them that isn't sex related. Like what else would you send, a copy of Kid Icarus: Uprising?

Ness: Ooh, like send Yakuza 0 to Ancient Japan. That would be pretty cool.