Waking up to a new reality

The Surgeon's Scalpel

It was Friday 18th of December and the day his surgery was scheduled. Eric was well aware of it, for apart from his nervousness he had been 'nil by mouth' from ten o'clock last night and was starving.

Mum arrived early that day and sat with him while he got his pre-meds. As he drifted of into la-la land, mum kissed him on the forehead and told him, "No matter what, you'll be better when you wake up."

At eleven o'clock he was wheeled off to the Operating Theatre and mum was led to the relatives room, where she could only sit and wait for news.

After about an hour, or so she guessed, Mr Lamb entered the room and sat down directly in front of her. Even with his surgical mask on, mum could see that he had a troubled look on his face.

Taking off his mask, he said, "We've come across some complications and made an significant discovery at the same time.

The bad news is that both testicles are severely affected by tumours and a biopsy has shown that it has spread to the penis too."

Mum looked back and stuttered, "What does that mean exactly?"

Mr Lamb reached out to mum to comfort her as he said, "It means that Eric's penis is not viable and the only way to stop the spread is to remove his penis too."

Mum: "Oh my god – Is that the only option?"

Mr Lamb: "Unfortunately it is. We have to arrest the malignancy or it could rapidly become life threatening."

Mum: "Well if there is no option –do what you have to do! A boy without a penis is better than no boy at all!"

Mr Lamb: "There are a couple of options which I need to discuss with you and neither is going to be an easy choice. First you need to understand that this is quite unusual, so there is not a lot of evidence to support either choice."

Mr Lamb took her hand, in his reassuring manner, before continuing to explain the options, along with the pros and cons of each. There were no simple solutions, however he told mum that he had called in a favour from a friend who was a plastic surgeon specialising in genital reconstruction to help.

After listening to the options, mum had to make the biggest decision of her life, and it was not one she could take lightly as it was Eric, not her, that would have to live with the consequences.

Mr Lamb suggested that mum should go down to the coffee shop and take some time to reflect on the options while the reconstructive surgeon made his way in.

Mum agreed, although she knew she couldn't easily relax and make a calm and rational decision anyway. As she sat playing with the froth on the cappuccino in front of her, she tried to process everything Mr Lamb had said. As she took the last few sips and finished her coffee, she knew what the decision had to be. None was going to be easy for Eric, but the choice was made.

She made her way back the the Operating Suites, where she told Mr Lamb, "Oh, this is one decision that I would do anything to not have to make, but from what you've said, either option is going to be a shock for Eric, but the second seems the least worse overall."

Mr Lamb nodded in agreement and started to made his way to the Operating Theatre, indicating that it could be many hours of surgery before he's done. Turning just before he got to the doors, he's said, "I can assure you that we'll go the extra mile for Eric! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back in there and do what needs to be done." At that, the double doors swung shut and he was gone.

In the waiting room , mum replayed all of what Mr Lamb had just said and although she was sure he had said the surgery would take three to four hours, she didn't actually remember hearing it.

Mum sat on the edge of her seat for the duration – she tried to take her mind off thing by perusing the magazines that populated the relatives room, but nothing could divert her attention.

It was nearly five o'clock when Mr Lamb returned and sat down beside her. He reported that Eric was out of surgery and that he had managed to achieve everything that they discussed. Because of Eric's age, they were planning to keep him heavily sedated for the rest of the day and only reduce the medication slowly tomorrow.

"I know you'd like to see him now, but he won't know you're there.", said Mr Lamb.

Mum nodded and said, "Yes, of course I need to see him."

Mum was led into the ward where Eric was lying sound asleep with a drip in his arm and a urine bag on the side of the bed. She sat beside him and held his hand.

Before Mr Lamb left, he said, "Mrs Nicholson, next time that Lauren was visiting, could they take some samples from her to run tests for comparison to Eric's. It will help to confirm or deny some of our suspicions."

When the nurse came in to check Eric's statistics, she said to mum, "You're welcome to stay, but Eric won't be awake until the morning. You really would be better off going home and getting some sleep. You'd be better here in the morning - I'm sure Eric would welcome you being the first person he sees. Don't worry we'll take good care of him."

Mum said, "I know you will, thank you– what time can I come round in the morning?"

The nurse replied, "Any time after about half past seven, but it will be nearer nine before he's awake!"

"Half seven it is – thank you.", mum replied, before kissing Eric on the forehead and whispering, "Bye sweetie – sleep tight." If Eric had been awake, he'd have been mortified as he thought 'sweetie' was not appropriate for a very nearly teenage boy!

Mum returned home, where Lauren was waiting patiently for news. Although Lauren had always been a good big sister, she had her mischievous streak and really had worked out the fine art of teasing Eric when the time was right.

As mum sat down to tell the story a tear appeared in her eye. Lauren was a people reader and immediately knew how serious it must be. She sat close to mum and hugged her gently as mum related Eric tale of woe.

Lauren was visibly shocked as the tale unfolded and she heard the gravity of the situation. Struggling to speak through her emotions she managed to say, B-B-But he is going to be okay, isn't he?"

Mum: "Well the good news is that all the malignant tissue is gone, but the surgery was more extensive than originally expected and the emotional trauma is yet to come! Mr Lamb assured me it was the best option and when I heard the alternatives, I knew he was right – it was the only option!"

Lauren: "Don't worry mum - you've saved his life and no matter what, he'll love you for that –besides we're here to love and support him."

Mum: "Thanks dear - you've always been a good sister and the two of you have been so close but he'll need you more than ever now. No matter how well he takes it and no matter how much he understands why it had to be done - he's bound to get angry and that anger will probably be aimed at me!"

They continued to talk long into the evening. Lauren did ask what the alternatives were and was equally as shocked as mum had been – agreeing that there really was only the one option. Heading off to bed they agreed that both would go to the hospital early in the morning.