(1) 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄 | d. m

Chapter forty-six

Draco

After having left Lane behind and being promised her salvation by Lucius, I acknowledged that I should've felt relieved. Because she would be safe, and I wouldn't have to worry as much as I had done all that time we were apart.

Everything was as it should, just like my father had said.

So how come I felt like I was drowning in the ocean, being pulled towards the deep, with a giant anchor keeping me from rising to the surface?

How come I didn't feel any better, how come my decision only made my heart feel heavier in my chest?

No, I wasn't okay. In fact, I was far from satisfied with how things turned out, and wanted nothing as badly as I wanted to tear the world apart for ruining my last chance at happiness.

Because we belonged together — her and I. We still did.

I Apparated myself back to my apartment in London, with a burning anger resting inside of me, waiting to break free, and this time, I let it.

I entered my kitchenette already heaving for air from the frustration, and started tearing through the various drawers, throwing all sorts
of cutlery to the floor. When I couldn't do that anymore, I turned to the kitchen cupboards, pulling out wine glasses, bowls, vases and everything in between and smashing them to the floor as well. The sound it made as it
crashed to the floor only added fuel to the fire that was awoken within me, and at that moment, I couldn't care less about what my neighbours must've thought. All I wanted, was to let out the emotions I had been forced to keep locked away within me for so long. I needed to feel something other than hatred towards all the bad people in my life as well as the fucked world I was living in.

When I finally managed to calm down somewhat from the sudden outburst taking hold of me — I fell on my knees instead.

I could feel the shards of glass cutting at my legs, but refused to do anything about the pain. Because the pain was good. It meant that I was, in fact, capable of feeling things.

This time, I wasn't going to force myself to keep it together. Instead, I let the tears fall freely down my face, not even attempting at rubbing them away. It didn't take long until I was sobbing my lungs out, and the pain was barely manageable. I cried and cried and cried until I felt as if it wasn't physically possible anymore. Until I presumably ran out of tears.

Then, in a matter of minutes, as quickly as it took to Apparate to the flat in the first place — I fell asleep, letting slumber swallow me whole.

"Well well, what do we have here? Sleeping on the job, are we?", my fathers voice shock me
awake. The sun was now peaking  through  the window, making promises of a beautiful day, yet I couldn't be more in the dark.

"I must say Draco. . . I love what you've done with the place—", he joked, a smug
looking expression plastered on his face, one that I wanted so badly to rip off.

I didn't want him there. Not now. Not ever.

I knew he was probably just there to rub it in my face that he had managed to scare away the only good thing in my life. He was satisfied with how things had turned out, I could tell as much, and he wasn't going to let me hear the end of it any time soon.