(1) 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄 | d. m

Chapter seven

Five months ago

I felt weird about the whole Draco-deal and spent countless sleepless nights wondering why he seemed so unlike himself all of a sudden. I couldn't wrap my head around his unexpected switch from bad boy with a heart of stone to someone I could almost see myself tolerating. Just almost. However, I was even more shocked to see that he had disappeared from the school the day after our agreement was made. There was no trace of him whatsoever.

He didn't show up to Potions class that week and I couldn't see him sitting by his usual seat in the great hall, passing looks of abhorrence my way. I didn't realise just how off everything would seem without him around. I had almost gotten used to him mocking, annoying and detesting me every so often, and it has felt like the new normal for awhile.

One day, after having spent days telling myself that what I was feeling was just a lack of judgement, I went over to the Slytherin table in at lunch to ask if anyone knew where he was. I was everything but surprised, when Pansy, Goyle, Blaise and some other Slytherin I didn't know the name of, stared at me in disbelief.

"And what bloody hell does little Miss Perfect want with the big bad Slytherins?" Pansy asked, crossing her arms, seemingly annoyed by my overall existence. I knew that the only way I would ever get an answer from her, was if I acted unbothered and frankly, I didn't care about the ways in which she would go about mocking me, I just needed to know what was going on with Draco.

"I was wondering if any of you know where Draco might be?", I said, smiling reluctantly, trying to keep Pansy on her, weirdly enough, 'best behaviour'.

"And what is is to you? Why do you care?", she looked over at the other Slytherins, as if to ask for back up. "You're not in love with him or anything, are you?".

I grunted, trying my very best to act natural, whatever that was. How could I ever be in love with someone so vain and careless? I tried telling myself that my reasons for wanting to understand Draco, had nothing to do with caring about him and everything to do with wanting a clear conscience.

"Fine, I'll tell you", she finally said, after spending a minute or so watching my quiet attempt at getting the truth out of her.

"He's been acting strange lately and he hasn't shown up in or outside of class. Maybe he's sick or something—".

"I always knew that guy was far more fragile than he let on", Blaise grunted while elbowing his friends. They were all laughing now, pretending not to see my disappointed face.

That's when I left the conversation, I wanted nothing to do with Pansy or those monkeys she called friends. If I had to find out where Draco was by myself, then so be it. No one else seems to care, after all.

That's it. I care.

I care about someone who would do absolutely everything to break me down. Maybe it's my attraction to things that can hurt me, maybe it's my curiosity. Maybe I'm just fucked up. I don't know.

***

Draco

I spent the days that followed trying to catch up on some sleep, of course, nothing of that sort came to me. Instead, I tried to decide whether it was a good idea to return to school or if I wouldn't go completely mental if I stayed in the manor for the rest of my miserable life. Maybe that would be the better option. Maybe no one would care if I just stayed here forever. If I stopped caring. If I melted into the floorboards, til there was nothing left of me except for the memories of what once were. Maybe people would forget about me and all the mistakes I have made. I am just a broken soul, after all. Beyond salvation.

My train of thought was interrupted as I heard someone at the door downstairs.

"Draco? I know you are in there. Can we talk?". Her voice sounded like the way that roses smell, and it was almost as if the tone of her voice could be described as - worried.

I sat up in bed, where I had been laying, pondering about my miserable thing of a life. I wondered what the hell she was doing here, I had done pretty much anything up make her feel absolutely worthless. Surely, my attempts must have made her want to distance herself from me, no matter some stupid agreement.

My curiosity got the best of me, and I went down the stairs, towards the door. My heart was beating so fast, but I tried to tell myself I only acknowledged her prescience in an attempt to get rid of here.

I didn't want her here.

The door creaked open, and there she was. The red haired girl with the emerald eyes, I had spent months trying not to drown myself in.

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you mental?", I exclaimed rudely, wishing she would see me for who I was and leave.

"You—weren't at school. I didn't know where you were. Your friends said you might be sick".

"How did you find me?".

She stepped inside, but I was reluctant to let her in.

"Well, I've been here before remember? And felt like something was off. I just needed to make sure you were okay. I... I don't know why.

"Well, now you've been here, and as you can see... I'm fine".

She sighed, only to open her mouth to speak again. I could tell she was growing frustrated, I didn't know the reason.

"Well, that's just the thing. I don't believe you're fine". She took a few steps closer to me, as I grew more surprised by her willingness to even be here in the first place.

"Well, I am, and I don't need someone like you to check in on me. Besides, why do you care?". I felt my chest rising as my breathing became heavier. Lane was standing in front of me, looking gorgeous. I had always known she was beautiful, but she had never looked so radiant before.

"I... I don't.., I mean I do... I don't know-" Her eyes were glistening in the moonlight that was shining through the window, and they seemed to look at me with despair.

That's when it happened.

It all happened so quickly and I didn't realise what was going on until her lips were on mine. They were soft and warm, like the comfort of a thick duvet during a cold winter night. I closed my eyes. She seemed to be shivering and by the feel of her lips, she was probably taken off guard as much as I was. I don't know why, but it felt good somehow. To have someone so close to to, that you feel their heart beating with yours and their breath upon your skin. It felt like we stood like that for a long time, and none of us seemed to know how to stop. It wasn't until we heard the sound of someone Apparating inside, that we split apart. Her smell and warmth was still upon me, and I got taken aback by her sudden movement away from me. I tried to speak, but had no idea what to say.

I didn't really have to say anything, because as I was opening my eyes again - she was gone. The door had shut behind her and I was again completely alone.