(1) 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄 | d. m

Chapter fifty-three

I woke up with a heavy head, completely unaware of my surroundings, and — dizzy. My vision was blurred, making it awfully difficult to recognise the person standing by the foot of the bed. I felt a slight ringing in my ear, and it was as if my whole body kept telling me to just give up. To fall back asleep. To slip back into unconsciousness, because in that moment — I had no strength left in my body.

"Drrraco?", I said with a hoarse voice, rubbing my eyes in a desperate attempt at getting a clearer view of my surroundings. The attempt was futile, of course, and it only resulted in enhanced puffiness.

"What are you doing here Delaney?", he asked bluntly, scrunching his nose nonchalantly. "You're not supposed to be here". He seemed angry. Even more so than I was expecting.

I needed to see you. I miss you, I'm still in love with you, was all I wanted to say. But the words never left my tongue. Instead, I sat up, my back resting against the headboard.

"I have to tell you something. It's important and it–it couldn't wait".

"Something being important usually implies that", he smirked, and for a short second I caught a glimpse of the boy I used to know. The boy who would struggle to hide his grin whenever he managed to humiliate me, or whenever I managed to do that to myself. Which, as it was, happened on numerous occasions. Far too many times for my own liking.

There was an awkward silence, one sharp enough to cut through stone, and I struggled to let the words fall out of my mouth. When, eventually, that well known Malfoy frown returned to Draco's handsome face, I realised I couldn't put it off any longer.

"You're not pregnant or anything, right?", he scoffed insecurely. I hadn't seen him for so long, that I'd almost forgotten how he'd scratch his head whenever he was nervous. Something he did in that very moment.

Oh fuck.

"I...—"

I couldn't say it. The words refused to leave my mouth and a part of me knew he'd already figured it out. The silence was deafening and there was no real need to say anything. The secret was out. There was no turning back now.

"Shit—Delaney—" he started talking, before cutting himself off and sitting down at the far end of the bed, distancing himself somewhat.

"—I was going to tell you sooner, I just didn't know how to. You left, and I was alone. . . again. I didn't know what to do, everything was just a big mess and I didn't think you'd want to know. After all, I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.". I gave him a sad smile, one I hastily regretted upon seeing the heartbreak on his face. He wasn't ready for this and I shouldn't have expected him to be.

I stood up quickly, feeling my legs give in the second I did. I was tired. So tired.

"This was all a big mistake. I shouldn't have come—",

"Wowow, you're not going anywhere anytime soon". He raised from his seat, using his left hand to push me back into bed. "You fainted, remember? You're in no condition to do anything besides rest".

The awkward silence between us returned as quickly as it has disappeared, leaving me no less than distressed. I wanted to ask him why he left, if he meant all those things he said to me or if it was all just a lie to get me to leave. I wanted to ask how he was, what he had been doing since the last time we spoke, but somehow I was too afraid to ask any of those things. Somehow, a part or me was still a stranger to these feelings, even though I had spent months basking in the light of them.

"Can I ask you a question? For real this time".

I nodded nervously.

"Why did you come here?".

Confusion hit me. "What do you mean?".

"I mean, why — off all places — did you choose
to come here tonight? It's not like we can stand to be in each other's company anymore—"

At this point, I was growing increasingly worried, confused about what the heck was going on. Why was he so nice to me in one moment, only to be so adamant at distancing himself the next? Why was he acting as if we were total strangers to the feelings we shared with one another? How come he seemed worried about me but at the same time refusing to acknowledge our past?

I knew he wanted nothing to do with me, that he didn't love me, he told me as much, but something was seriously wrong. When I looked into his eyes, the ones that hid a story full of heartbreak and darkness, I recognised the boy I fell in love with. He was there, he was looking at me, but something had changed within him. That spark that ignited within my chest every time he would look at me was still there, but behind this silvery diamonds was also pity. Pity for the girl who lost it all.

"This isn't happening", I felt the familiar feeling of a heaviness sitting on my chest. "This can't be happening".

"What are you on about?", he asked, raising a questioning brow. At this point, I was standing up, slowly but surely regaining the strength in my legs. Perhaps because of the sudden shock.

My mind kept spinning like a record player on repeat. I was no short of bewildered, lost in my own wasteland of hopelessness. Somehow Draco's memories had been warped, twisted, and he was now in a complete state of ignorance. It seemed — someone had obliviated him — but the curse hadn't completely worked, instead only removing bits and pieces of his past, and he was left with a specific collection of memories.

I wasn't entirely sure how I figured it out so quickly, or if it was even the reality of the situation, but I had to believe it was. There was no other explanation, and I barely wanted to believe this one.

"Could you please tell me what the hell is going on?", Draco asked worryingly, zapping me out of my lucid trance. "You're being exceptionally weird. More so than usual".

I was rummaging through my own brain, desperately searching for some kind of answer to this riddle that presented itself. I needed to know what had happened, even if the truth could be equally as heartbreaking.

"I don't love you. I never did".

His very words echoed through my mind, and I could still remember the tone of his voice as he spoke them. Whether or not it was the truth, whether or not he loved me, I still needed to know.

Was this a trick of the mind? Was I imagining things?

Did Draco have his memories removed?

Or...

The worst and most painful possibility of all...

Had it all been a lie?

____

So this chapter might be kind of confusing, but I promise it will all make sense soon. Just know that something is going on with Draco that makes him not remember his recent feelings towards Lane. He still remembers them hating each other and everything that happened at school, he just doesn't remember loving her. Of course, he did tell Lane he doesn't love her a few chapters ago, but she still recognises his changed demeanour. It's almost as of he's being kind to her without remembering loving her. Somethings definitely off, that's all you need to know for now...

Hahha.

Love,

ddraconifors