(1) 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄 | d. m

Chapter forty-three

After what felt like an eternity of Lucius threatening me and torturing me with his taunting words and eventually also the Cruciatus curse — he left. He left me alone, starving and screaming my lungs out for him to let me go, or anyone to come save me.

When we left, and a part of me felt relieved. Relieved that I would get a break from what seemed like endless pain and torment. Relieved that the torture had stopped, even if it was only for a short while.

However, the weirdest part was that when he left, an equal part of me felt more lonely than I had ever been before. Strangely enough — and coming from a girl who spent weeks alone in the Malfoy manor, crying and suffering — it was even scarier being left alone in the dark, than it felt like when he was there. Because now I had time to wallow in my loneliness, now I was left alone with my thoughts again.

And that was — perhaps — the worst part of it all.

Because my thoughts would never seem to give me a break. My inner voice would always be there, taunting me and rubbing salt in my already infected wounds, and no matter how hard I tried to think about something else — I was never able to. No matter how hard I tried to focus, to think about anything else than the pains of my life — I couldn't. It wouldn't work. All I could think about was Draco. How I wished things were different. How I wanted so badly for us to be able to have a future together. How I hated myself for not going looking for him, despite knowing the reason why he left in the first place.

It was to protect me.

At least, that was what he believed he was doing.

But I was never in any less danger because of it.

Because they would always come find me. One way or another, they would make sure of it.

***

Draco

I woke up the next day with my bag already packed. I was ready to leave, as ready as I was ever going to get.

I should've done this weeks ago, I thought to myself while scurrying down the stairs of my tiny one room flat. Why didn't I do this weeks ago?

No matter how much I wished to protect Lane and thought that was what I was doing by leaving, I also knew that she was still in danger. I thought she'd be better off without me, but perhaps that wasn't the case after all. Perhaps I was the one to protect her from harm. From Bellatrix and the Death Eaters. From my father. From the Dark Lord. Perhaps she wasn't better off without me, but better off with me. And with my mother gone, there was no one left to care for, except for her.

Delaney.

Laney.

My Lane.

I left the tiny flat off Chalcot Crescent, in which I had lived for the past few weeks, with a heaviness in my chest, and as I made my way down Primrose Hill I couldn't help but wish I would be able to return. Return to a simpler life. Return to a life of television broadcasts, fast food deliveries and muggle employment. Return to that life with Lane. The life we had dreamed and talked about as we snuggled up in bed together that time.

Because all I wanted in this world, was to be able to live a happy, normal life, with the love of my life. To spend all my days looking into those emerald eyes. To spend it making memories. Travel the world. Get married. Have kids and eventually grow old together.

To be happy, and with someone who I love.

I just hoped that wish was still a possibility, and if it wasn't, I had to at least fight for it. Because, what would happen if I didn't?