Attention Jade Tate (Rewrite)

Chapter 31

Jade hasn't talked to me since the incident. It's already Thursday. This is the longest silent treatment I have ever gotten.

It is destroying me.

I keep going over everything in my head, replaying every little moment, wondering where it all went wrong. It's gnawing at my insides, rotting me from the inside out. It's all I've been able to think about.

She won't even look at me. She purposely avoids me. She doesn't come to sit at our usual table. She hangs with friends she hardly ever talks to. She ignores my calls, when I try to come over to her house she says she's busy. She closes her curtain so I can't see into her room. She doesn't even sit next to me in bio anymore. No matter how long I stare at her from across the room she never looks at me.

Is it because she thinks I'm gross?

Did I force myself on her?

She kissed me, right?

Did I just make that part up and imagine the whole thing? What is going on? Why won't she just talk to me? Why won't she let me explain? I'd take it back, I'd pretend it never happened just to get her back. I'd swallow down my feeling forever if that is what it takes. If she would just give me a chance to make it right.

"Hey," Darleen walks over to me after practice.

"Hey," I don't look up at her.

I feel guilty for cheating on her. I still haven't told her what happened between me and Jade, but she must know something happened because of Jade's strange behavior. Still, she hasn't pushed the subject.

"Ready for the match-up tomorrow. I've been training, I won't go easy." She playfully bumps my shoulder.

I force a smile.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Don't act like you haven't noticed."

"Jade?"

"I screwed up." I run my hands down my face.

"What happened?"

"I—I told her how I feel. We kissed again. I thought... I thought she might like me back. But then she ran away from me and I messed everything up."

"When did this happen?" she asks seriously.

"Last Friday night. I know I should have told you and I'm sorry, I'm the world's worst girlfriend ever. I don't even know what is happening right now," I sit down on the bench just outside the school building.

She sighs and sits next to me.

"I'm sorry," I sob and cover my face.

"It hurts me to see you like this," she rubs my shoulder. "You have to stop letting her have so much control over you."

"I can't help it! What if she never talks to me again? She's like my only friend, I can't lose her. I need her." Tears streak down my face.

"Hey, I'm your friend, remember? You don't need anyone. You are strong all on your own. Besides you have me now and no matter what I won't leave you."

"I don't even know what I did wrong. It's making me sick. I can't think straight. I just want to talk to her, to explain myself. Whatever it is I did wrong I just want to tell her I'm sorry. That it won't happen again." I sob.

"Come here." She pulls me into her arms.

"It hurts," I cry into her.

"She's manipulating you. You can't see it, but she is. You are going to have to let her go Skylar. That's all you can do. She doesn't want you and you can't change that. Just let her go. It's time you move on."