Attention Jade Tate (Rewrite)

Chapter 28

It hurts. Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It hurts... like being stabbed in the heart a thousand times but not being able to die. Like ripping your own skin off inch by painful inch. It hurts like sitting in a fire but never being able to move to safety.

What makes it worse is that I am addicted to this pain. Even though she uses and abuses me, even though she confuses me, even though she constantly pushes me back into the friend zone... I can't help but go back for more.

I hate this game we play.

I hate the way she hurts me.

But most of all I hate that I like when she pays me any little bit of attention.

When I got back to camp I was a stumbling, puke covered, mess. I walked past everyone who eyed me like I was an extraterrestrial or something and went into my tent to change, again. Darleen walked after me.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Nothing," I said.

She moved closer to me and rubbed my back.

"What's on you?" she asked.

I wipe my mouth with my shirt before saying,

"I puked."

"Are you okay? Do you want some water? Lay down," she says.

"I'm fine." I wave her off.

I throw the soiled clothes off and put on the clothes I wore earlier which are now dry from when we fell into the water. I put the clothes into a plastic bag and tie it up and toss it to the side.

"Lay down, I'll take care of you. You probably had too much to drink," Darleen pushes my hair behind my ear.

"I'm going to go wash up first." I said.

She nods.

When I walked out, Jade was back. Once again she was acting as if nothing happened. As if I hadn't basically confessed my feelings to her. As if she hadn't tried to kiss me again. As if we were just normal best friends.

It gave me a headache to see her like that. Just sitting down and snacking on chips, her eyes are bloodshot but she has a smile on her face as Archer talked to her.

I clenched my jaw and grabbed my tooth brush and some water before marching off into the woods again. I made my way back to the pond from earlier, where Jade and I found the Elk. I washed out my mouth and brushed my teeth and washed off my face, the cold water helped sober me up a little. Then I just sat by the water's edge and admired the way the night sky reflected off the water.

The crunching of leaves told me someone was coming. Or something. Either or. I did not turn to look until whoever they were sat right next to me. I turned and saw Darleen. Without a word she just rested her head on my shoulder.

We sat like this for a while. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me.

"I am not going to give up." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, I will win your heart. I am going to do whatever I can to make you fall for me. I will make sure your attention is always on me."

"Don't. That plan is dumb. It doesn't work. It just causes more pain." I looked back at the water.

"I feel like I've just found something good. Found someone who can make me feel things I've never felt before."

I turn to look at her.

"Mark my words, I'll get you to fall for me." she smirks.

"Darleen. I love her." I say seriously. "Like really love her. I don't know why, but I do. Lately, she's been a real pain, but I know how I feel about her. I've had these feelings for a long time. They won't just go away. Trust me, I've tried. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to give you false hope. The truth is, I might never get over her. I don't want to put that on you."