Attention Jade Tate (Rewrite)

Chapter 5

I don't usually get "The feelings" for people. I like to keep to myself. To put this into perspective I've only had a crush on one other person in my entire life. Her name is Astrid, we were best friends back in Texas. Before I moved anyway. She was basically my only friend before I met Jade.

I was still young, only in the fifth grade to be exact, but anytime Astrid tried to hang out with other people I would always get really jealous and upset. Looking back on it now I realize I probably had a crush on her. A cute little childish crush. Back before I really even knew what a crush was and that it was possible to get "The feelings" for friends.

I guess you could say that's one of my faults. I tend to get super jealous when my friend hangs out with someone else. I like to imagine that this is a universal problem. That best friends everywhere have struggled with this issue before. Even if they won't admit it.

My horrible communication skills do me no favors either. I can't really articulate why it bothers me so much. I feel like because I like Jade more than a friend the problem is ten times worse. I just really hate it when it's obvious she is having a lot more fun with whoever she has chosen to hang out with. It makes me feel less than in some way.

Every time she hangs out with someone else she always goes on about how much fun she had, or how she can't wait to do it again. I just feel like her being around me is lame and can't compare to her being around everyone else. Like I'll never be as cool or as fun as everyone else.

Is that stupid?

I don't even think Jade realizes the effect she has on me when she blows me off to hang out with other people. Once, for her birthday Jade went to an amusement park. She invited like half of our class. All of her friends. All of her friends, except me.

I wasn't invited. Why? And I quote,

"Well I figured it wasn't your thing. You're always shy and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Hey, we can do something later, just the two of us." She must have forgotten about that last part because we never got around to it.

I swear I thought she actually stabbed me in the back it hurt so much. I was so betrayed and jealous. Still, like a good friend, I sat and listened to her recount everything in great detail. I heard all about her cool presents and how much fun she had.

Till this day, Jade doesn't understand the effect she has on me. The pain I have to endure all the time around her. She really hurt me that day. Of course, Jade is Jade and I could never stay mad or hold a grudge against her. I just let it go and went on as if nothing happened.

To Jade, there was never a problem, to begin with.

Why am I bringing all of this up? Well, I guess I have that feeling now. She's done it again. Purposely left me out of something. Today school went on as it usually did, nothing unusual. After school is when it happened. I was expecting everyone to show up and help me finish painting the reading hall, of course, that didn't happen.

For a better part of an hour, I was alone.

I texted Jade and she told me that she couldn't make it, that something "came up". Which I call total B.S. on because Jade always, ALWAYS, tells me when something comes up. She tells me everything. I would have known if she had something planned or if something was going to "come up".

Luckily I didn't have to sit and paint the walls alone festering with my thoughts because I still have one more good friend.

Darleen.

She showed up and I knew by how early it was, she was skipping out on practice.

"Aren't you supposed to be at practice?" I eye her.