Attention Jade Tate (Rewrite)

Chapter 35

I didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. Even though I knew she was probably not going to show, I stayed awake in hopes that Jade would sneak into my room. I wanted to hold her, tell her I was sorry. Every time I closed my eyes I could hear her crying out; I could hear the pain in her voice. A pain that I am sure hadn't been there since she was just six left alone starving and waiting for her mom to come back. I could see that look in her eyes, that desperation not to be abandon again. I did that to her.

Every second that passed made me want to crawl under a rock and stay there for the rest of my life. As the sky turned lavender and the sun began to rise I knew I was teetering on the edge of something. Like a tight rope high above a chasm. I was barely hanging on, one misstep and I would fall into a deep, dark, scary depression.

Part of me wondered if I was being dumb. Jade had said she was sorry, she loved me and I loved her. But a much bigger part of me knew that if I let her have her way with me things would never truly be the way I want them to be. I want her to see me like Darleen sees me. I don't think Jade can. She sees what I've done for her, she sees how good I was to her, but she doesn't see that those actions came from a heart way too big to be left unguarded. That heart belongs to me, she knows I love her, she's probably always known. The fact that she used that against me rather than accept my love and see me for the big softy that I really am is why I can't go back to her.

I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep and just laying there was making me more depressed so I got up for a run. I changed into some running shoes and pulled my hair up. Cloud glared at me in protest as I had interrupted his sleep by turning the light on. The Countess didn't even bat an eye.

I went downstairs grabbed a bottle of water and ran out the door. I only made it two houses down before I saw someone running behind me. I stopped and turned to look. Jade was there. She looked like she had gotten dressed quickly, one of her shoes was untied.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Going for a run, what are you doing?" she shot back.

I sighed. I know for a fact Jade never goes for morning runs unless I do. Still, I was a lot faster than her and knew I could easily outpace her, so I turned forward and resumed my jog this time going purposely faster.

I couldn't help but smile a little, not that she could see. She must have stayed up all night too and saw me get up to go for a run. She was trying to get to me in her cute Jade way. Still, I was not about to make it easy for her.

I glanced behind me and saw that she was keeping up. Although I could see the sweat on her brow and a pout on her lips. I smirked to myself and broke out into a slow run. When I looked behind me, I saw that she was trying to match my pace, but her stamina was not nearly as good as mine. Her breaths came out in large puffs and she was glaring at me, she knew I was doing it on purpose.

Just to spite her I broke out into a full-on run and ran as fast as I could away from her. I ran down the street and all the way to the small patch of woods I took her to once for her birthday. When I turned around, she was nowhere in sight. I frowned. She either gave up or I am a lot faster than I thought.

I sighed and opened my water bottle before taking a quick swig.

I leaned against a tree and closed my eyes letting the ambiance of morning birds and wind rustling through leaves calm me. Maybe I could jog to Darleen's house. Sure, it's more than a few blocks away but I kind of really want to see her. I need to look into her reassuring blue eyes and not Jade's green eyes.

I heard the sound of huffing and the ground softening under someone's foot. I opened my eyes in surprise and turned to see Jade finally catch up. She doubled over to catch her breath. Her knee was scraped up, I noticed her shoes were tied now. She must have tripped over herself trying to keep up with me.