Attention Jade Tate (Rewrite)

Chapter 11

Do you know what I really, really, really hate?

Surprises.

I suck at surprises. I always ruin them either for myself or for others. Surprise visits from friends or family, hate. Surprise birthday party, hate. A surprise gift, double hate. I hate surprises.

Exhibit A: When I was 10 years old my mom thought it would be fun to "surprise" us. She said we were going out of town. Turns out we were moving. I cried for the whole trip. Literally the worst surprise ever. Sometimes Oli brings it up just to make fun of me.

Exhibit B: When I was 13 my family tried to throw a surprise birthday party for me. It was Jade's idea. What did I do? When I walked to my house and everyone yelled Surprise! I vomited on myself. Yep, my mom still has the picture. Despite how many times I've tried to get rid of it. Literally the worst.

And finally, Exhibit C: I tried to surprise Jade once for her 15th birthday by taking her to this cool forest hideaway I found down the street. She asked me what we were doing, but I didn't say anything. She thought I was going to surprise her with a really cool gift. But when she saw it was just the woods she got creeped out and didn't get it. I tried to explain it to her but she was like, meh. Then she asked if I had gotten her anything else. To which I said no. Thus, the silent treatment. In the end, I had to get her something. I got a fishbowl and made a replica of our street in it. It took me three days to do. She still has it today.

What you should take away from this is that I hate surprises. I can never react the way I am supposed to, or I completely blow it and ruin everything. Why am I telling you this? Darleen thought it would be great to surprise me on our date. What was the surprise? She took me to the country club where all the rich people hang out.

But that's not the worst of it.

The whole reason we went to the country club was to join in on a family lunch.

All the Grayson's were there.

Every. Last. One.

I was extremely underdressed. So much so that Darleen's Aunt Matilda who is the owner of like three papers and magazine companies, made Darleen make me go and change. I was horrified. I did not belong, and I was so nervous that the first thing I did was spill my drink on Conroy Grayson, aka the head of the Grayson family and Darleen's grandfather.

It was red punch; he was wearing white.

Most of the older Grayson's were giving me the stink eye and looking at Darleen incredulously like they couldn't believe she brought me there. I couldn't agree more with them. To make matters worse Darleen introduced me like this,

"Hello family, nice seeing you all again. This is my girlfriend Skylar. Skylar this is my family."

Girlfriend? Since when did I become her girlfriend!?

I couldn't even say hello, I just stuttered and waved.

Kill me now.

Darleen has a total of 12 cousins. 8 girls, and 4 boys. 3 of the girls are our age. Only one boy. The rest of the boys are in their preteens along with 2 of the girls. The rest of the girls are little kids, ranging from ages 5 to 8. She also has three aunts by blood, two by marriage. And two uncles by blood and two by marriage. Two grandmas one being a great-grandma. And then her grandfather. All of which whose names I forgot three seconds after learning them. I had to keep asking Darleen what their names were, and they overheard me once and gave me a look.

Literarily the worst date/surprise ever.

By the time lunch was over I had made a complete and utter fool of myself in front of all the Grayson's. If spilling my drink wasn't enough, I proceeded to choke on my food and spit it up on the table. Then when they tried to make conversation, I said sex instead of vex. They were talking about how to vex their competitors. I said,