Is It Love?

Chapter Thirty Four

Lily's POV

A knock at the door snaps me out of my schoolwork haze. "Get that." my mom states, the sound of her chopping food indicates I don't have a choice. I stand up, wiping my eyes and unlocking the door, being faced with Violet. Violet who looks like she just witnessed someone's dog die, her hands trembling slightly, obviously she's trying to hide that.

"Uhm, hello?"

Her mouth stays ajar, her staring at me for a second too long. "I just, Uhm, I need to tell you something."

Confused, I furrow my brows at her. "Okay, go ahead."

She closes her eyes, muttering out a 'fuck' before lifting it to meet mine again. "Sorry, this is going quicker than I planned."

"Are you okay? Would you like some water?" I ask, concerned what that something is that could make her feel like this. She shook her head, "no, no I'm fine. I just. I don't exactly know how to say this, I don't know what will happen."

"It'll be fine Violet, whatever it is," I reassured, it can't be that bad. "If it's hard, count to three in your head." I suggest, she lets out a breathy laugh, "there you go again with your soothing self. God. I'm just getting it over with now." she says, sounding like she's talking more to herself than me.

"Lily, Uhm, I have a giant crush on you, I know, weird right? I've come to terms with it. I really like you, and I know Aaron but if you were willing to try with me I could wait, you know? I'm sorry this is so out of the blue, I just couldn't keep it all in."

Well, fuck.

I didn't expect this. I can feel my mother's eyes burning into me from where she stands. I'm standing there frozen, unable to find my words. I don't understand how this happened. Why even?

I don't like her, she's just my friend. And even if I did, I don't want a relationship with her. I want a friend. I have Rea already, she's the only person I trust enough to know that much about me. I don't want someone else, I'm fine with a best friend for now.

Rea would be the one I would want to talk to until I fell asleep, I barely know Violet, or well, she barely knows me. Like at all. God, I've been standing here for too long.

"Violet..." I plead, at a loss for words. Her mood drops, her body going from tense with nerves to a sad posture. I step outside, letting the glass door close behind me. "Listen, I'm flattered, I really am, but I just don't feel the same. And I can't be with you."

She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes glazing over, "Oh. Uhm okay, sorry for bothering you." she says quietly, turning away to leave. In reflex, I grab her shoulder, "don't leave, let's talk."

"No Lily, I get it, I was stupid for coming."

"Violet, it's just, I can think of you like that. It's-" I try to explain myself, seeing a layer of anger spin in her eyes. "Lily, I said it's fine. I'm leaving, you don't have to explain."

I fall silent, my hands hanging at my sides. "I'm sorry."

She nods at me while a frown is plastered on her face. I watch as she rushes to her car, her door slamming and she's gone before my brain can even register what just happened. My brain goes haywire, spinning in circles like I'm a kid on a carousel, and not a good one.

I need to talk to Rea as soon as I get a chance or I'm going to go insane.

I walk into the door, my mother's eyes on me almost immediately. "So you told her to get lost, correct?" she spits, making me almost want to laugh.

"Yeah, if that's what you wanna call it."

I return to the table where my work lies, I hear my mom scoff from behind me. I wonder what she found wrong with this situation.

"So how did you make a random girl from your school like you? You're so bland, and don't you dare even think to ruin your cover. I will ruin you."

I shake my head, turning to her. "Really mom? It's not my fault some people have feelings."

"It's your fault you let yourself get close enough for that. And she's not coming over again, I'm not letting that in my house. It's bad enough you're like that, I'm not risking you and another one like you to make, whatever you call it."

I mutter to myself, cleaning up my papers. "Wow mother, I love when you talk about my sexuality like it's some type of cult,'' I say sarcastically. She starts getting visibly mad, "it's not your sexuality! As far as I'm concerned you're normal."

"Can we not do this right now? I literally might have just lost a friend, I don't have the energy to fight."

She puts down whatever she was holding, her hand on her hip. "Well, I wouldn't have a reason to fight if you didn't create the situation. I don't like to yell."

I scoff, "yeah right,"

"I'm your mother, even if I yell, I have the right. It's not my fault you are so terrible you need to be yelled at all the time."

I grab everything, piling it in my arms. "Way to find another way to insult me. I'm going to my room, don't call me for dinner, I won't eat."

I hurry to my room before she has a say in what I'm doing. I put the stack of books and papers on my dresser, pulling my phone from my pocket. Dialing Reas's number and letting it ring in my ear as I sit on my bed.

"Hi there sunshine," Rea greets kindly, I sigh in relief. "It's so nice to hear your voice."

"Even better to hear yours. What are you doing?"

I kick my feet up to lay across my bed, looking at the ceiling. "I'm in my bed, I just really needed to talk. Are you free?"

Rea sighs, rustling on her end. "For you? Always. Now, spill your heart out darling."

I tell her about everything. Her reassuring words warmed my heart. At this moment all I can think about is how I would rather never be with someone in this lifetime than lose her. She's too important. 

***

Hope you enjoyed, here starts the drama.

Remember to drink water and eat something :)

*heat pat*