Is It Love?

Chapter Forty Two

Lily's POV

February 21st

It's been a weight lifted off my shoulders to have Rea know. I feel like I can be myself again. Well, I felt that way.

From that Friday until about Wednesday, it felt like old us. I could tell her anything, talk to her all the time, but in a healthier environment. That was until my brain got too aware. I became uncomfortable, but not because of her, it's like my words were stuck in my throat every time I talked to her, and my anxiety was always high on phone calls.

I don't know why I've felt like this, but I don't like it. My stomach twists and my palms sweat and it's honestly annoying. By yesterday I started just avoiding her calls, It was the easiest option so I don't say something dumb.

It's Saturday, I've spent most of the day with Ann, which is what my life has consisted of since I moved in. I made pancakes, then insisted I had to clean up the mess. She caved, sitting at the table to read her book.

The warm tap water runs over every inch of my hands, soaking them in the soapy liquid. I rinse the dishes, putting the clean ones on a towel next to the sink. My phone starts to ring, I ignore it, continuing with what I'm doing.

Ann sees my lack of movement and stands up, lifting my phone. "It's Rea, do I answer?" she asks, my phone facing her. I run the sponge over a bowl, shrugging, scrubbing a piece of dried pancake batter. "No."

She looks at me confused, but listens and puts my phone down. "No?" My ringer cuts out seconds later, Ann facing me. "Since when?" she questions.

She has this look in her eye as she stares that doesn't let me lie even if I wanted. "I have been avoiding her." My eyes don't leave the spot I'm scrubbing, (maybe too hard if you ask me) but I can feel her eyes. "Why is that?"

"I get all weird and it's awkward."

She furrowed her brows, taking a second. The silence makes me turn my head. Her mouth is ajar, "Oh."

"What do you mean oh?"

She clicks her tongue, turning to sit back down, "nothing."

Okay then?

She spins around, leaning on the counter, I raise my eyebrow at her, "Okay maybe not nothing. You should explain these, how do you say, weird-awkward feelings to me."

Pausing, I think over what she's asking. "Uhm, okay?" I turn the water off and turn to her.

"Well, I get nervous? And my breathing gets off and my stomach kinda hurts. Nothing severe, I'm just, not uncomfortable, just, I guess nervous is the word."

We stare at each other for a second, her taking in what I just said. "Maybe you like her?" she teases. Raising her eyebrow, I stare, shaking my head, turning away from her, and switching the tap back on. "Oh fuck off. That's not funny." I say.

She puts her hands up, "defensive much?" She rolls her eyes, "I was just throwing the thought out there. It's not so bazaar, I mean Rea already is."

My head snaps to her, my brows furrowed. "What did you say?"

She's looking at me almost dumbly. "Are you brain dead? Did you hear how she talked to you when you told her you lived here? Or hell any time you guys talk on the phone? I have ears, you know."

"She always talks to me like that?"

It's normal behavior, I don't understand what she's thinking of. All friends are like that.

"Well that confirms what I'm thinking," she shrugs, walking back to the table and going back to her book. I turn off the sink, shaking my hands and grabbing the hand towel. I walk to her and toss it on the table, sitting down. She peaks at me, almost smiling. "Interested to see what I think huh?"