dnf + karlnap

Bad Habits

(hey y'all it's been a while and i'm updating finally. I have stuff planned finally so yay. You guys keep saying just report the ex to the police but cmon this is a wattpad story he isn't getting what he deserves like that it will be much more interesting like maybe a bea- , anyways enjoy besties.)

Words: 1786

⚠️TW: talk of self harm and blades⚠️
(honestly the whole chapter is talk about it and kinda sad lowkey anyways hehehehehe)

Sapnap found himself not being able to sleep yet again staying up worrying about Karl. I mean how could he not. Everything that he could be worried about he was. He felt like he needed to be by Karl at all times to protect him and he felt stupid for feeling like that. He knew Karl could take care of himself but still he needed to know he was okay and getting better. He wanted to make sure that he was okay and that he would stop all the bad habits that he had started. That's why he needed the find what he was using to hurt himself. He wanted to take them away from Karl because then he wouldn't hurt himself. Right? He was doing this for Karl or was he just doing this for himself?

He looked over at the boy in his arms sleeping so peacefully. He wanted him too feel better. It hurt Sapnap that he wasn't enough for Karl to get better. He wanted to be the reason Karl is here right now and the reason he stopped hurting himself but he knew that he could never be enough for Karl. He knew that his wishes would never be enough for Karl to stop.

He took Karls hand that was placed so cutely on his face and interlocked their fingers together so they were now holding hands. Sapnap rubbed his thumb back and forth on the back of Karls soft hands.

"What am I gonna do Karl? What's gonna help you huh?" Sapnap said with a sigh at the end basically talking to himself cause of the fact Karl was sound asleep.

He separated his hand that was interlocked with Karls and started to run his fingers through Karl fluffy brown hair, playing with it as he thought silently to himself. He took the arm that was around him and slowly put it so it wasn't around his waist making it so he was able to get out of the bed without waking the other boy.

He put the covers back over the boy and walked into the bathroom. He opened all the drawers to try and find Karls razors. Opening them as quietly as possible to try and not wake the other boy to concern him. He had checked almost all the drawers and there was no sight of anything useful to take. Karl wouldn't hide them would he? Sapnap felt himself get angry, but what was he even angry at? Karl? Himself? Or just this situation as a whole? He didn't know what he was upset at he just knew he was upset. He slowly let himself fall down on the ground covering his face with his hands not knowing what to do. Just as he was about to do something he heard a voice coming from the doorway.

"S- sapnap? What are you doing?" Karl said as he looked at Sapnap sitting on the ground. He looked upset but why Karl thought to himself.

Sapnap looked at him. He had one of Sapnaps sweatshirts on that was too big on him causing it to end on his mid thigh and the wrist part covering his hands.

"Nothing Karl just go back to bed i'm fine just can't sleep you know." Sapnap said lying to him not wanting Karl to worry for him.

"Sapnap I can tell your lying whats up?" Karl said as he made his way to Sapnap sitting down beside him. Silence passed between them as Sapnap tried to get his thoughts together that he wanted to tell Karl. Sapnap turned to look at Karl taking both of Karls hands into his looking at him directly into his eyes.

"Karl I'm worried about you. Like not a normal amount of worried,  I can't stop thinking about you and my mind has been saying these crazy things to do to be able to keep you safe and they make me feel so crazy." Sapnap said as he felt a relief let out of him but that would only last for so long.