His Red Queen

Chapter Forty-four - Maven

Cal couldn't bring himself to do it. He had me cornered, no one else around to stop him from ending it and yet he did not. He even went so far as to rip his flame makers off and yell "Get as far away from here as possible and never come back!"

Naturally, I didn't listen to him.

I am sitting in a linen closet on the maids' floor of Whitefire. No one has come by in the past hour save for one of my Newblood spies whom had informed me that Mare, Evangeline, Iris, and Cal are all looking for me. 

Pretty stupid of Mare not to realize the clues I left her, stating my whereabouts. Though, I doubt she wants to see me right now anyway. But with a legion of Newbloods, a few Silver High Houses, and my own wit, I have nothing to fear. Except Mother coming back. Knowing her, I sent out my sentinels to locate her and keep her far away from the palace. Not to keep Mare safe; oh no, she can handle herself. I am sure of that. It is still a constant, desperate attempt to keep myself out of Mother's clutches, not allowing her into my mind. 

I still fail to dream, though. Most nights I lie awake, only falling asleep when Mare is beside me. Lately that has been less and less. 

"Open the door," someone deadpans, startling me out of my thoughts. 

"Mare?" I ask.

A huff and then the doorknob is sizzling, purple electricity shocking and snapping. It stops abruptly and she pulls the door open. She looms in the door frame for a moment, brown eyes dark with hatred, boring into me. 

"When were you planning on making your grand entrance?" She closes the door behind herself and leans back against it. She yawns in spite of herself. "Answer me." 

"You're exhausted," is my reply. 

She sighs. "Everyone is looking for you. Evangeline is ready to tear the palace apart to strangle you." 

I snort a laugh at that. "Isn't everyone? And since when are you two all buddy-buddy?" I don't know why I am jealous. I suppose it is a terrible, terrible thing for Mare to prefer being around the snotty Samos princess instead of me. 

"Alliances are important, King Maven." 

Again with my title. I roll my eyes. "Is that what this is all about? Me being king? Perhaps it's news to you but you are queen and I don't take orders from you."

Something flashes in her eyes yet I am in no way eager to take my words back. I straighten my spine and cross my arms. 

"No," she says coolly, "but you hide with the towels and sheets when you have the chance at freedom. A new chance to rule."

"You sent Cal to kill me." Not a question. 

Mare rubs her eyes. "I never wanted him to kill you." 

"Oh, did you want to do it yourself, then?"

I am now aware of the close proximity between us. How Mare stares up at me defiantly, fists clenched, small veins of electricity snaking themselves around her calloused hands. 

"If I wanted you dead I would have done it months ago." Her admission hits like a slap in the face. So we have something in common. I could have let her die and been done with her but instead I let her join me, encouraged her, really. 

"Where is Cal?" I hate the way my voice sounds small. 

Mare laughs. "I sent him to go find you. Evangeline actually told him he had two days to bring you back to us or she'd have Volo capture him as ransom until you showed up."

"What?" I balk.

"Yeah," her voice goes soft at that. "I, um.." she drifts off, reaching for the door handle. "Never mind, just come back upstairs when you feel like it."

I catch her hand and pull her against me. "No, tell me what's wrong."

"Don't you know what the issue is?" she hisses, exasperated. 

No, not really. There's too many problems to pinpoint just one. "What is it?" I cup her face, damning my desire to kiss her. Mare pulls away slowly as if she is afraid to spook a wild animal. 

"We need to abdicate," she says for what feels like the millionth time.

"Absolutely not!" I exclaim. "They'll kill us!"

She places a hand on my chest, over my rapidly beating heart. "Please." She sounds so broken, so sad, so...Mare. It's my turn to pull away from her. She looks hurt for a split second, hardly the blink of an eye, but recovers instantly. 

"Do what you want then, Maven," she whispers, twisting the ring on her finger. She chews at her lip anxiously. 

I know what she wants and I can't give it to her. Not after killing my father and seizing the throne, then making Mare Mine. After exiling my brother, causing the brink of civil war, and losing half of my people. Giving up the throne, the crown, will be perceived only as weakness and submission. And I refuse to forge the end of my rule in that image. 

"And when we abdicate, Mare," I start, "what happens then? Cal and Iris take the throne? Volo and Larentia are already planning on seizing Norta as their own. The Scarlet Guard is foaming at the mouth right now." Mare opens her mouth to speak, ready to cut me off and argue but I glare at her. "Everyone is plotting against us and it is all going to end one way no matter what we do." 

She is silent for a long minute. Maybe two. "Once we abdicate, we can leave."

"And go where?" I barely keep the snarl from escaping my throat. Norta is all I have ever known, where I have grown up, lived, mourned, ruled, and someday will die. There is no way that I would leave, abandoning this country to a pack of vultures. 

Mare closes the space between us. "Somewhere better." She pulls my face to hers, the severity of her features growing into something softer, kinder. "We can be free of all this." There is a sort of promise in her gaze. But there is more fear and uncertainty than ever. 

I lean down and kiss her, drawing her close against me. She brushes her lips against mine and lets out a small sound as I pick her up, pinning her against the door. "I want so badly to be free," I murmur against her collar bone.