Painting Annalise

21.The first fight

I've decided to leave this line for comments on the motivational pictures <3

My thoughts were suddenly all over the place. What if he doesn't come to the roof today?

She's about to say something but Christopher and Jacob appear so she keeps quiet.

but it doesn't last long before she asks "have you seen Brayden?"

Jacob looks at me with a satisfied smile on his face, probably thinking I begged her to ask for me. Jerk. I don't give him the satisfaction of looking bothered instead I try my best to look nonchalant.

The chair beside me is pulled out and from the scent I know it's Brayden, but today his scent doesn't make me have that butterfly-like feeling. The one that had me practicing my sentence multiply times in my head before my mouth could spew out the words. I don't have that feeling today. If anything his scent makes me nauseous. I can just tell something is wrong, call it instincts from all the time's things have gone wrong in my life, or call it paranoia. The feeling wasn't going anywhere as long as my thoughts ran wild.

"what took you so long man?" Jacob asks with no other intention but to upset me

Unfortunately, it's working

"Casper met me on the way asking me to speak to Annalise for him" he states plainly, handing me half of his burger in the process.

I decline, trying my best not to look at Jacob's satisfied smirk.

Don't get this situation wrong. Jacob is just a typical friend who enjoys torturing me, and these days he enjoys doing so with Brayden

"what's wrong Anna?" Lori's question comes just in time as Adrian takes a seat opposite her. I get excited at the thought of her not being able to say anything because of his presence, but of course, it lasts only for a second. Right now I am under the table's spotlight, after all, Lori's question wasn't going to answer itself.

"nothing" I mumble, my legs struggling not to kick Jacob who looked like he was trying so hard to control his laughter

"go on" Chris motions for Brayden to update them on what took him so long. Knowing perfectly well this would lead to another conversation, and another till lunch was over. Chris saw nothing wrong in his eagerness to hear gossip.

"well I said he should approach her himself"

Liar, I want to yell but I bite my tongue.

Casper walks into the cafeteria and the bruised lip was proof that Brayden had just lied, and it questioned my trust in him.

Would he lie to me without cause? All he had to do was say he hit Casper. Unless it was uncalled for, there's no reason to lie. Lying is only to cover up wrongdoings, either with the goal of protecting the person or yourself. A lie is still a lie. An uncalled-for lie is the worse of them all because the whole situation could have been avoided with the truth.

I turn to Brayden and he's busy talking to the boys. He cautiously looks everywhere but at me, because he knows I can tell when he's spitting lies.

A perfect example was two weeks ago I had asked him why he was late to school, the idiot said his alarm didn't ring on time. Just like today, he avoided eye contact. At the end of school, he confessed out of guilt that something came up and when I asked what, he said I had enough on my plate.

As conceited as it may appear, I made sure I had enough on my plate not to speak to him for two days, giving him single-word replies till he felt the need to apologize.

I scoff getting up and heading to the roof.

Jacob barks out laughter that has heads tuning in his direction and everything about this situation has my palm itching to pour his iced soda down his t-shirt, but I walk away. Away from Casper's pleading looks and away from the tension on the table.

The roof is empty as always and the thought that someone will soon be here makes my hand tremble.

This feels so stupid, what's wrong with me?

I lie, so what does it matter. My whole life is basically a lie.

I won't be surprised if he doesn't ...

The door slams open revealing the one person who always comes here, and I want to apologize for overreacting but my mouth is sealed. So instead of apologizing I stare ahead and wait for him to break the silence.

Minutes pass and I can feel myself losing the battle because he's so fucking silent and I want to just scream and ask why he lied.

"you lied," I say calmly before turning to him

Finally, he meets my gaze but I don't want him to read my expressions so, like the coward I am, I turn away, afraid he'll hear how fast my heart is pounding even though I managed to mask it well.

"he was bothering you" he mutters

"I never told you that" my voice raises as I turn to him and I can tell he's surprised

"he forcefully kissed you"

"That fight was over, and if it was still on. It's not your battle to fight" I scoff

"he still deserved it," he says with no remorse

"Again, that wasn't your choice" I mutter

"what do you want from me? am I supposed to go apologize to him" his tone louder than mine, making my anxiety appear the moment my brain processed that he's angry

This was the first time since we met that I was at the receiving end of his anger. It felt good in the sense that for the first time he proved he didn't have to walk on eggshells around me. Although his tone made my heart race more out of fear? It still felt good. Almost like the first time my dad ever scolded me.

No matter how good it felt, there was still the part of me that was upset "you know, for a second I thought you were more mature than them. I thought with you, I didn't have to say my thoughts because you read them all and lastly I thought you would respect me enough to let it go after I said it was ok" I snap unknowingly

He stares at me probably understanding how deep I had read this situation. Welcome to the shitty life of Annalise Zion, the girl who blows situations out of proportion.

"Annalise, you know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose. He was actually still telling people you led him on" his voice makes me want to take back my words

"you lied Brayden, you promised not to lie"

He shakes his head moving forward but I step away leaving him alone on the roof.

I shut the door but not fast enough to ignore his curse words and the sound of something being smashed. Probably one of the partially broken chairs that the school started dumping on the roof.

Grabbing my bag, I plug in my earphones and listen to my walking playlist. One I hadn't heard in a while.

The walk suddenly seems long because I haven't walked home in a while. When I do arrive, my mind registers I'm alone so I rush to my room slamming the door shut.

I lay on the floor counting the ceiling patterns to keep my mind busy but it isn't that great of a distraction thanks to the tears that I feel blind my vision.

They crawl down my cheeks to my ears, till my head hurts and instead of getting up to swallow some painkiller, I lay there with a mini migraine, my mind repeatedly saying it's what I deserve; it's all I've ever gotten.

My hands tug on my hair root, till I feel the spot go bald. I hadn't even realized when I sat up.

However, what I did realize was this hurt, and I hate it. I hate whatever caused it. A part of me blames Casper another blames Lori because if she hadn't pointed out he wasn't present I won't have been bothered in the first place. But another blames Jacob for aggravating me and last but not least, Brayden for lying to me.

Above all, I blame myself because I could have ignored it and stayed in bliss.

Instead, I sat in internal and physical pain and it was all because of a stupid fight.

Our very first fight.

There it goes, consequences of overthinking Annalise.

Who do you feel bad for more, Casper, Annalise, or Brayden?

Who has seen the new coveeerrrrr? 👀