Painting Annalise

10.The emotional puppet

I've decided to leave this line for comments on the motivational pictures <3

Twisting the tap, cold water forces out of the showerhead making me frown even though it was something that happened every morning before it turned boiling hot. As predicted, it becomes just hot enough to relax my muscles. The moment I turn off the tap my brain wakes up reminding me of what happened yesterday. Moving out of the steam-filled bathroom, I make my way to my closet putting more effort than I usually do.

Pouring out the majority of my clothes, I look for something big enough to basically swallow me. Putting on a pair of baggy jeans and a hoodie, there's a tiny part of me that hopes this would take away every form of attraction from me. As much as I didn't want it to matter, today I would probably see Casper and only I get to decide if that matters because only I felt it.

Only I feel this disgust.

It's just a kiss still, it appears more than that for me.

I skip breakfast because I know if I ate it wouldn't stay in my system for long. Instead, I walk to school with my mind all over the place and suddenly a thought crosses my mind. Why do I have to go to school?

There are people out there who don't go to school and still make it in life. I mean they may have dropped out after high school but it's the same thing, right? oh, fuck me!

Ignoring the scattered thoughts in my head I drag myself into school and head straight to my locker not bothering to wait for my friends. If I still had any.

"boo" Lori tries to scare me but her attempt fails. I had many fears but none of them included someone popping out of nowhere.

"ahhhhh, you scared me" my sarcasm is clear as day causing her to roll her eyes.

"what's up?" Jacob says walking up with Chris

Suddenly I feel uncomfortable with them around like they would cheat me the way Casper did. Or were they just my friends for selfish reasons like Casper?  I wasn't as skinny as I used to be but I don't have really obvious curves either.

Even if they did have ulterior motives, my body is covered today.

I breeze through class without any worries because I haven't seen Casper. 

However, I have seen Brayden and he continuously pesters me. It's either asking me for a pen when he clearly has two in front of him or continuously tapping his pen on his desk which irritates me. Not once did he ask about yesterday. I feel he knew I was going to jump so why was he minding his business? He never did when it came to me. He didn't even watch me with pity instead he stared at me with what I couldn't decipher, but I didn't waste time staring back.

With my head on the table, I watched the water slide down the window. I chewed on my last nail, the rest were gone from my previous class. Even the last one I was chewing on was barely visible. Anything to calm the unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Annalise are you even listening?" the man asks gaining my attention. I look up but everything that comes out of his mouth I don't hear. However, from his hand movements, it was easy to tell he wasn't pleased, one could even go as far as saying he looked furious.

"Are you ok love?" Brayden asks shaking my shoulder gently, causing me to turn in his direction

"I'm fine,"

"I didn't ask for a rehearsed answer" he mutters but looks away leaving me to stare at the side view of his face.

For the first time since I met him, I noticed he has dimples on both sides of his face thanks to his clenching jaw I'm. His hair is a very dark shade of brown which could almost pass for black. It happened to be everywhere, which I'm guessing is from taking off his hoodie. Somehow, the messy hair worked for him. Then the hardest factor to resist when looking at him - his eyes. Unlike his two brothers with chocolate brown eyes, Brayden's eyes are green like the trees on the way to school. His jaw working as he focused on whatever the teacher was saying. My mind was clouded with so much shit I didn't even know about or understand.

"staring is rude" he whispers, a little smile on the corner of his face.

Rolling my eyes at his mood swing, I turn back to the window still wondering how he caught me staring without looking away from the board.

"you stare all the time" I mumble

He chuckles and I just know it's at me, I am so stupid. Why was I even staring?

Maybe because he was so different from people I had grown up with and it made me want to know him more, but I wasn't that stupid. I knew he wouldn't last long around me. It was a shocker that Lori and the boys were still with me.

The bell rings causing me to get up, I'm excited to leave until I remember it's lunch and I have to see Casper.

"come on love, it's time for lunch" Brayden literally drags me towards the cafeteria, I do struggle to get out of his hold but he has the strength of a man and I have the strength of well, no strength at all.

I mentally curse the students who don't bother to help me as this six-foot thing drags me.

As soon as we step outside, stares pierce my fragile skin. Some are subtle but something about the way they stared was different today. My brain quickly registers it's because of Brayden so I quickly snatch my wrist away. Of course, he turns to me but when I keep walking to the table he just follows. Yet, their eyes were judging. Their whispers confirmed it. They were judging me, and I could feel it. Even my racing, panicking mind felt it.

I desired to run to the roof but I knew with Brayden, I was stuck walking to the table.

Everyone is there including Casper and his girlfriend. Unlike yesterday her smile is replaced with a frown as she wails like a newborn child. My confusion blocks my train of thought, although the sly smile on Casper's face is proof that he had done something fucked up. I didn't know the tale he told but my heart still skipped beats out of fear.

"you slut" the drama queen yells once I get to the table

My heart races and I feel like I'm going to throw up, all eyes are on me right now. This can't be happening. I heard of cases that involved them always blaming the girl, I just never saw it happen around me, not to mention one that involves me. Regardless, I put on an emotionless mask.

"How dare you kiss Casper when you knew we were together" Jessie's voice breaks and I feel my heartache for how she has been cheated just like me.

However, I don't know who this affected more. I tune her out while staring directly at Casper who has a whole façade built up. The smirk on his face confirmed he wasn't who I thought he was. At least not after what happened yesterday, even though a tiny part of me wanted to forgive him, this charade just made me hate him more.

She storms over to me and I see it coming but I don't stop her, in fact, I let it happen as her warm palm strikes my cheek. A smirk plays on my lip as I watch her step back in the realization of what she just did. But I don't blame her.

After all, we humans can be puppets in the hands of emotions.

Hey everyone,
I just want to thank you all for your support, I see your comments and I almost cry.
Thank you so much for all the love my story is receiving, here's an update to say thank you ❤️