Painting Annalise

17.The topic love

I've decided to leave this line for comments on the motivational pictures <3

"what's up?" Chris yells and does the bro hug thing with Brayden. It's surprising how fast they warmed up to him. I guess once again I'm the outcast - perks of being anti-social. Ignoring my mocking thoughts, I take the only seat left which just happens to be next to him.

Automatically my head goes to the table for two reasons alone; the first being, I never eat lunch, and the second being every lunchtime I'm always tired. Even though today seemed like an ok day, it's all the same when my mind is idle.

I feel Lori's hand stroke my tangled hair, as odd as it may be, it relaxes me. Sighing I turn to face her but she's too busy involved in whatever Chris and Jacob were gossiping about. Fortunately, her fingers still sent a soothing feeling through my system. At this point, the only living things I envy are cats, possibly because they enjoy something so soothing every hour of the day.

"what do you think Annalise?" Chris asks out of nowhere

Was I expected to pay attention to their conversations? The soothing feeling stops causing me to look up confused. A pout almost forms on my lips until I feel their eyes staring at me expectantly.

"of course, you have to repeat the question," Jacob teases but as usual he fails to get a reaction.

Jacob and I were never really close. I like to believe he's the mean one in the group who said everything on his chest, with no fucks if the other person left the room in tears. I mean the closest person in the group to me is Lori. It actually used to be Casper but after the whole kissing incident, we haven't been friends. After much thought, I don't feel like we were ever friends at least on his path.

"ok, listen this time. Will you?" Chris asks with a serious tone

I hum in response, putting all my attention on him. Brayden seems to be paying attention as well, I guess everyone paid attention. Everyone, but me.

"do you believe in true love, like high school sweetheart till marriage"

I stare at him and I really want to reply but, I actually don't know. I mean I don't even know what true love actually feels like, except for what I read in novels or few movies and series I watched.

Some time ago, first love was something everyone wrote about till we started growing and realizing, the fuck is actually love? then authors sold us stories on how lessons learned from first love help us build meaningful relationships. With no scientific proof, I'm sure no generation z member believes things like that anymore. Hell, the majority are probably asking themselves what love is, while the minority have unrealistic ideas that unknowingly leave a large group of them sad and alone.

There's still the realistic point that I have never seen it play before my eyes. Then there's the second point of me already being sad and alone.

However, Lori once had a boyfriend who I watched buy her flowers and give her public hugs and kisses. Three months down the line, she was in tears from him having sex with another girl.

Turns out the words I love you don't mean much in this generation.

"nope, I mean nothing goes past high school" I look at all their facial expressions expecting them to disagree. Lori was still a hopeless romantic. My brain had lost every optimistic side when my father's coffin entered the ground.

"Yeah, my dad cheated on my mum with his secretary. Shit broke her" Jacob says harming the table's silence, when no one says anything he takes it as his cue to add "now she just has sex with any man or woman that lets her"