I've decided to leave this line for comments on the motivational pictures <3
(back in Annalise's pov)
Frowning at the size of the bed, a groan leaves my lips as I try adjusting to the little space. My shoulder cramps from the uncomfortable position and I'm struggling to find the perfect way to sleep when it hits me - my bed wasn't small, nor was it this comfortable.
Like any other human, natural instincts crave to find out my location - anything but the white ceiling that could mean I'm in heaven or back in the second hell also known as earth.
The third hell is my mind.
Among my jumbled thoughts, I remember Brayden's words.
'just some broken bones, but trust me you won't make it to hell'
The thought of being in hell has me bolting up, but my efforts are in vain when I'm pushed back by the excruciating pain I feel on my wrist. I eye the injection buried inside the flesh at the back of my hand, and that's when I realize I am in the one place I have desired to stay since I was born.
Back in the antiseptic scented room and bleached pink sheets, suddenly the uncomfortable mattress feels like a beanbag. My eyes move with the fan while I mimic the sounds of whatever machine was connected to me. It has to be the most relaxed I have felt in a while. No humans, no pressure, no need to please anyone ...
Until my eyes shift to the corner of the room.
And the guilt crawls over my skin as I take in the sight of my mother laying on a long couch while Aaron is cramped in a little grey chair, which without a doubt would kill his limbs whenever he gets up.
As if my thoughts interrupted his dream - Aaron stretches. Immediately his eyes land on me, concern is written all over his face. With no words to me, he bolts out of the room, probably to get the doctor.
"How are you feeling?" the middle-aged man asks the moment they both return
Well, I feel like shit. Made Aaron miss school with exams coming up, made my mum worry but in everything I like the hospital so that calms me. With these thoughts I say.
"I'm fine" and he hears me
I can speak and they can hear
The man nods and checks my vitals. As he wraps up the necessary procedures, my mum sits up with a small smile on her face but I'm sure on the inside she fears what the doctor is going to say. It was something my dad always made fun of her for - the softness of her heart.
"can I?" he asks my mum
From the way his eyes flick to my corner of the room, it is clear he's seeking permission to say what's wrong in front of me. On a normal day, I wouldn't care a bit as long as I get to stay in the hospital, but today I want to know because I can swear I was just laying on my bed in bliss.
My mum nods while bringing the glass of lukewarm water to my lips almost as if she knew my throat was dry, it's probably one of several examples she has for motherly instincts.
"well, your daughter is having a serious case of malnutrition and a mild case of dehydration which caused her brain to get tired, and from what we've seen she hasn't had that much sleep." He states seriously
"So, what does that mean? like can you just get to the fucking point" Aaron says angrily and I don't know if he's upset at me or at the situation?
"Please lower your voice, Mr. Zion you're not in your house" the older man bites back. "What I'm saying is, her system crashed from pressure and lack of nutrients so we would have to keep her for at least this week till we're sure she's fit to go home. I'm also going to prescribe some sleeping pills" he concludes
My mum nods and leaves with the doctor to probably discuss the bill. Aaron fails to meet my eyes and before I can speak he's out the door slamming it shut. Like that, I spend whatever day it is alone with my thoughts as I try to think back to whatever caused this.
To be honest, I can't remember the last time I ate but at the same time, I never felt hungry. As for getting sleep, that wasn't a new thing. The days had become one and I'm still finding it hard to eat and sleep and think and do school.
After a while, a lady in her sky blue nurse uniform walks in with a tray of food not forgetting to put on an extremely friendly smile on her face, making me wonder if it was for the job or she was genuinely this happy. I wonder what it feels like to have something that makes you smile genuinely.
Every memory of being genuinely happy seems to have faded- if I ever was.
Rose helps me sit up before placing the tray on the attached table. She says my mum went home and surprisingly it's still Monday.
I tell her I'm on my period and she gets me sanitary towels with no questions. I actually like her because she doesn't talk much. At first, I could barely eat thanks to the lump in my throat. Unlike what I expected she actually encouraged me. It wasn't much, just mashed potatoes, gravy, and a fruit bowl.
Eating not up to half, I give up and left the plates for her to take notes. When she notices I'm not eating anymore, she takes the tray not before telling me she would be back for dinner.
Satisfied with the portion of food in my stomach, I lay down again only because I feel drowsy.
Maybe it was one of these things their pumping into me, or maybe there was medicine in the apple juice. It did taste funny. Not to mention it was the only thing I finished on my tray.
Not bothering to overthink I lay my head on the pillow, my eyes close voluntarily, and just when I'm about to sleep off I hear the door silently open and close.
The person's large hands take mine letting me know it's not my mum.
I hear repeated sniffs before my mind registers the feeling of something wet drop on my hand.
Is that a crying male? I want to see who it is so bad but I know if I open my eyes they would pretend it was nothing, so I decide not to wound the person ego
"Why are you so fucking stubborn, ever since you were a baby you were so stubborn. Never let anyone but mum and dad carry you. And now you're a teenager and you're still so fucking stubborn. Why don't you eat? Don't you like the food?" he takes a break as if any minute from now I would wake up with an answer at tip of my tongue. "What's the point, you never share how you really feel instead you keep it all locked up. I don't know for how long I can do this Annalise" he pauses for a while like he has something else to say.
"I thought I lost you" I feel his lips place a light kiss on my forehead before he turns to walk away still sniffing. When I hear the door slam shut, my eyes open slowly as a tear rolls down my cheek.
Aaron.
His scent that I had picked up in our shared bathroom was still present alongside the fact that I know my brother's voice. I just wanted to be fine, to not bother them and now Aaron can't go to school and my mum has to deal with more than she needs.
I lay on the bed trying to fall asleep with one thought on my mind. Here I go being selfish again.
Sorry for not updating in a while, I was just working on some other things. This chapter is dedicated to the upcoming mental health month.
Later today or tomorrow, I'll be publishing a short story on mental health- a chapter, so whenever you're less busy please check it out.
Have a lovely day everyone. Turn every horrible situation around, I believe in you ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Painting Annalise
Romansa(Complete) A high school student struggling with grief, drugs, depression, and love as she comes of age in this rollercoaster yet hopeful story. *****I started writing this during a sad time In my life so please don't steal my work, it means a lot t...
