I've decided to leave this line for comments on the motivational pictures <3
"come on, the circle has to be mixed" Jaden complains when we all sit on the floor. The others move but I don't leave my spot. Neither does Brayden who is on my right.
Lori explains the rules again for everyone in the circle. It's just our friend group, the triplets, Adrian, and some other random people I don't know. Half the circle looks drunk from how excited and uncoordinated they looked.
"start" Jaden places the card on his lip before passing it to some girl's lip. It goes around the circle, some kissed while some took the liberty to have a full make-out session and there were the people who said pass in exchange for alcohol. When Brayden passes it to me, a part of me hopes for the card to fall while another part reminds me of my words. His eyes meet mine when he places the card gently on my lips. His warm breath dances on my skin and when I have to boldness to look at his lips I quickly look away and pass to the boy next to me who lets it fall on purpose.
He turns to me with a smirk making me lean towards Brayden.
"it's the person on your left dumb fuck" Kayden yells from across the circle making almost everyone laugh.
The poor guy's smirk falls off but still kisses the girl before continuing the game.
Soon enough it starts getting boring and from Jacob's expression when his eyes meet mine I know he feels the same. At least it was, until the card between Brayden and the girl on his right fell.
I don't even know if it was a mistake but at the same time, I don't care. He's my friend, my friend. Friends don't care when they kiss other people. Right. Fucking hell I don't want to be his friend.
The girl seems hesitant at first but Brayden places a light kiss on her lips for barely two seconds but it hurts like hell. It can't be compared to burning my hand on the stove repeatedly or slamming my fingers in the bloody door.
NO
This hurt internally. Something inside of me drops and I lose counts of the number of lumps in my throat I push down to prevent my eyes from glazing over.
Fuck. That's all my mind can repeatedly says.
Words couldn't explain my anger, disgust, hate, and last but not least.......ache?
I feel eyes on me and it doesn't help that my hands are shaking lightly. My fingers dig into my palms at their cheers for the stupid kiss like they did for other people but it's not as loud mainly because I don't hear any of my friend's voices.
Brayden passes me the card like nothing happened and I do the same. I'm used to having my facade up but the last thing I was expecting was Brayden kissing someone else. I don't know why it's bothering me all I know is if I don't leave this circle it would probably end with regrets.
"Anna I need your help with something," Jacob says. I know it's a lie and I'm really grateful.
He grabs my shaking hand before leading me away from the group. Instead of joining the party, we head into one of the random bedrooms. I really expect him to attack me with random questions, but he surprisingly just jumps on the bed with a frustrated groan.
My head is spinning as I rack my brain with several solutions.
"didn't the dinner go well?" he asks after a short period of us just staring at the wall
"It did," I reply calmly
"so what happened out there, you and I know that's not the Brayden we know"
"Before the bloody game, I called him a friend" I confess
Jacob laughs at this and I regret telling him. "You never seem to amaze me, Annalise Zion"
I roll my eyes before finally leaving the wall and laying next to him. Jacob laughs again probably after imagining me calling Brayden my friend. Still ignoring him, I search his pockets for the little bag of weed.
"wait, wait, girl," Jacob says with a teasing smile
"what is it?" my voice breaks before I lay back on the bed feeling completely frustrated.
We lay silently, both of us staring at the ceiling, and even though sometimes I feel Jacob staring at me. He doesn't say anything.
"I will make just one stick," I say
"I don't have"
"Fucking liar" I mutter making him chuckle loudly
Even though my thoughts are all over the place, I am grateful I have someone to lighten up my mood. As much as I wished it was Brayden I can't hide the small smile.
"do you like him?" Jacob asks while staring directly at me
"I think so, I mean I don't know" I blurt out
He eyes me weirdly before releasing a sigh. "I mean, he is an amazing person, he has helped me a lot no lie there. He's caring, knows when to apologize and when to be quiet, he's funny and calm" I feel the corner of my lip lift up from just describing Brayden "slow down girl" Jacob laughs.
There's a pause in the room before he asks, "Then what's stopping you?"
I take a deep breath and turn to Jacob. Ignoring how extremely close we are because he isn't Brayden so the closeness doesn't affect me. I try to think of a reply that doesn't sound pathetic.
"I guess I'm not used to these feelings, plus Aaron made it clear that I may be relying on Brayden too much." I sigh "like he's a new form of addiction even I didn't know I had developed"
He's about to say something else but the door flies open revealing Brayden. His eyes scan our position and I notice him fighting with himself to either trust us or turn around.
Jacob hops off the bed and before he opens his mouth I know what he's going to say. "I'll leave you two to it"
Brayden stands by the door looking everywhere else but me. Immediately Jacob slams the door, I quickly sit up. It's quiet as expected making me suddenly miss my bed. The usual comfortable silence between us is replaced by tension letting me know how much I don't want to be here. So with that, I get up to leave.
"I'm sorry," he says calmly
"you didn't do anything to me" I lie easily
"Then why do I feel like I owe you an apology"
Taking a deep breath I decide to press all his buttons "I don't know Brayden, why do you feel like I need an apology?"
"I just feel that way"
"You try so hard to understand me Brayden, yet why do I feel like till we go separate ways you'll never get that satisfaction. Just like I've mastered the act of playing numb, I have also managed to master the act of playing sober" my voice quiet but loud enough for him to hear every single word
"Stop beating around the bush, Annalise, tell me what you feel for me for fuck sake" his voice raises higher than I'm used to.
Too startled to speak, I stand as still as a statue with the most expressionless face I can muster. Because for some reason I feel crushed and stuck.
"Why are you so fucking scared of feeling something for me?" he goes on to ask not bothering to mask how hurt he looks
"I'm not some bloody object to use and dispose of whenever -" he pauses to look at me with his glazed eyes and that's when I realize, he has been listening to people. Just like I listened to Aaron.
It wasn't going to work
So I hum not bothering to say anything. When he doesn't talk after that, I turn to leave and this time he doesn't stop me. "I'm sorry"
I just figured I may never be able to tag everyone who has ever kept Painting Annalise going. So this chapter is dedicated to someone who really encouraged me when I thought of deleting this book 💕
YOU ARE READING
Painting Annalise
Romance(Complete) A high school student struggling with grief, drugs, depression, and love as she comes of age in this rollercoaster yet hopeful story. *****I started writing this during a sad time In my life so please don't steal my work, it means a lot t...
