Chapter-8

2 0 0
                                        


The next day was 29th June. I woke up just fine. Only my arm was a little sore, but nothing I couldn't handle. Plus I tried my best to be okay because I had to drive my mom and grandmom to the hospital today as my grandmom was getting her vaccine today.It was good, I met a friend who stayed in that area while these people took their time. On my way back, looking at his house kind of got me angry, like not um "Oh I hate him" But just a little angry I don't entirely know the reason or thought process behind it myself. I came back and was too exhausted to do anything so just slept. Although in the morning I had checked his Netflix, and he had just watched one thing, which was lesser than what he usually watches for that time. In the evening, I kind of missed him but I had a bunch of mixed thoughts. I did want him back, but maybe we weren't meant to be and he was given the strength to finally end something that would have only hurt us more in the future. All these rational thoughts came to my mind, and I considered calling him up after 2 weeks and returning his charger to him as well as this tiny chord that I had of his, and I wanted a box back, I had given it to him, it had sentimental values. So in my mind I had all these boss lady/ rational ways to say stuff to him when I did meet him, even though I did want him back, and I wouldn't cry in front of him, but I knew I would be sad the minute I came back home.

In the evening, I was stalking him ish, seeing the accounts he followed and didn't and suddenly instead of the "follow back" option, I only say "Follow", That stung, sos I quickly went to his account to reconfirm if he was still following me, and he was. Again making me realise that I wasn't as over him as I thought/ wanted myself to be. Hence taking two more weeks would be good, plus the reason behind two more weeks is completing the 30 day no contact rule. I broke it, on 14th so ill only reply a month later.

I know this isn't healthy on my part because the tiniest of things he does, makes me think its related to me when its completely(most likely) possible that it isn't. For example, today he hasn't watched anything on Netflix, one little episode but that's it, much lesser than his usual, and basically since last night, it kind of does make me think that it is related to me not picking up his call. I know I shouldn't be thinking that way but I can't help it.

Also, my mod today has been so grumpy, I have been angry, snappy, rude, irritable, aggressive etc. The tiniest of things either made me want to abuse, or beat the person annoying me up, or like I don't know, just hate. I couldn't even decide which movie to watch because I am in such a bad mood. Again, I am not sure of the cause of this bad mood.

So I woke up on 30th June, and remembered a dream that I had, I typed it down, but I was half asleep, and now I don't even remember what it was, so I am going to copy paste what I wrote in my sleep, I myself do not know exactly what I have written.

Dream about him, we were at a resort, I was with my family, he was with his friends, lullas b'day30th day together, necklace, gift shop, *anonymous name*, etc etc.

Man, the dream came to me as I typed down what I had written first part of what I have written makes sense, after that, it was a teacher of ours birthday on 30th June so I guess my subconcious just mixed it up with the dream. After which, a friend of his told me to go to a gift shop (at the end of the lane) , for another reason, and my ex was there, it was our 30th day together in the dream, like we had completed one month together, so he gifted me a necklace. Again the necklace gift was my subconcious adding things in my head to the dream, he had gifted me two necklaces over our 4-5 years together, moreover I had very recently seen his best friend get a necklace from her boyfriend. That is pretty much it.

Again, I didn't get up sad because he wasn't a part of my life anymore. I was very neutral to it.

Also, I was absolutely obsessed with this girl called Hande, and she kept popping up on my Instagram. There was this particular Spanish show she was n. I FINALLY FOUND IT. It is crazy long though, 2.5 hours for on episode types. But yeah, it will last me for a really long time, I don't need to cry about the bold type getting over anymore. I even checked his Netflix history today, he watched like 2 episodes before noon, which is a little lesser than usual but he will catch up I guess. Doubt he is upset.

How I am getting Through a break-upWhere stories live. Discover now