How I am getting Through a break-up

Chapter - 12

 On 23rd I did nothing related to him, just checked Netflix maybe 1-2 times in the morning and rest of the day stressed over papers I hadn't even bothered studying for. I had back ups, but I had done NOTHING. More over I watched shows, played games etc. I did think of him, not gonna lie,, but basically think of how when where I am going to meet him, to discuss how to take things further. But my mind was mainly stressed out about a paper (not that I studied but eh). It is said that you are supposed to do it starting on a full moon, so on 24th I randomly googled full moon in the month of July and it was that night itself. I took it as a lucky sign and manifested. Now I am going to do it everyday.

Okay who am I kidding. I have been wanting to manifest stuff for quite some time. I had tried it before and lets just say it worked half way. But this time I have stated just 3-4 things and my will power for them is very strong. Hopefully I get what I want.

On 24rd I got up and had the paper, now basically I had no time to think about him, except, I had this one EVS kind of paper but it was all about law. He is a law student and I know if we were together he would have LOVED to help me during the paper, it was typing also, just the ways he likes it.

I am not sure If this makes sense but I thought of how I would miss miss him a lot because it was civics and law related(if I was still weeping over him everyday), but I didn't actually feel it. Like it came to my head how bad it could have been but it wasn't what I actually felt.

Then I thought of how he may/ may not miss me saying "Have a safe flight" when he travels, while he comes back from there. Because that was our thing. We used to stay up for the other, how ever odd the flight time, just to say that and give the other company while they got bored at the airport. Same way we were used to each others "Best of luck" before a paper, but I didn't feel its need this time. Didn't even think about it until I wrote all this. Now ill write my second paper.

Wow my paper went so well, and I was really happy about it. Also, I feel like I got a lot closer to this one girl in college today, we exchanged our family member numbers in case of an emergency (me oversleeping and missing papers) and it was nice.

One thing I felt bad about was that, last night I replied to the story of the only best friend of his from his college, that I follow and she left me on read. It okay if she forgot and all, I genuinely get it, I am a shit texter myself but I just hope it isn't because she doesn't like me. I don't want her to ghost me because my ex said something about me I don't know..?

Not that we would ever meet without him as such but I kind of liked her, and liked how nice she was to me, messaged me, hyped up my ig, etc. And forgetting a text is cool, but like I posted a story, that she viewed and she still didn't like remember or what ever . Anyways, about the story that I posted. I just reposted a post about my personality. Again, it had nothing to do with him and was about my laziness, but I keep looking at whether he has viewed it our not.

Today I also went for a drive, with my sister. SO MUCH FUN. I didn't make a single mistake, I went near his house, but didn't see it, I just enjoyed the drive, music and my sisters company.

One more thing I felt like expressing was the fact that um, He had this other best friend, she was in my grade, and we had tuitions and stuff together. So like initially I really liked her, and then later stuff happened, and I really disliked her. I kept getting insecure when he went to meet her, not insecure in a way where he will cheat on me, but like I didn't like her, so I just used to get annoyed when he used to go meet her(might sound toxic) but I didn't like sternly ever tell him not to meet her. I probably whined and was like urgh spend time with me instead or like as a joke just told him not to go. We had enough clarity where he knew I didn't like her, but like I didn't want to control him either. Anyways, so even she broke up with this guy she was with for a little over two years and they have so many mutual friends(she and her ex). Its like, her bestfriends are also best friends with him. And she has to deal with it. That's so difficult. I know the situation is like very different, they were as close as my ex and I were, not as dependent, plus they both have crazy big social lives and probably emotional support systems other than the mutuals. But yeah, still wow, like looking at pictures would hurt me I guess. Anyways, so I was stalking her account, highlights on Instagram and came across a pic of my ex, just one, I didn't have too much of a reaction, I just looked at it once more, and then I think someone came into the room and I stopped. So yeah, that way I am really glad that my social life has nothing to do with him. He did know my friends, spoke to them, met a few, but they weren't friends. So yeah I won't have to deal with too many pics of him on Instagram. There are just about 3-4 people who can but 2 of them are also have a VERY bleak chance of meeting him, let alone posting, so yeah mainly two. The girl who ghosted me, and the one I dislike.