So today is the 27th of July. Honestly nothing much to say feelings wise. I had 2 papers, both were AMAZING. Spoke to that irritating friend who rants about her boyfriend, so annoying I can't. I am contemplating things now honestly. I feel as though ill be happier without him in my life. Because if he does come, the feelings will rush back, ill keep hoping that e starts liking me and all. But there are reasons I want him in my life, not entirely selfish but there are just a lot of personal reasons. And they are lets just say spiritual bonds. So I know you guys will say, I am using dumb reasons and excuses to just stay with him, but that isn't the case. Again I am confused about what to do. Going back(as friends or being on good terms) will make me hope, keep reminding me of him and make moving on difficult. Whereas cutting him off is very easy, but like ike I said, I have a valid reason or what ever.
Anyways, feeling wise, I don't feel like doing anything man, I am so low on mental energy it sucks. I want to do things but no energy. I am not sick just mentally drained. I hate feeling this way. It can also be because I haven't been going out and all. I guess ill meet friends and feel a little better.
Now I am just going to praise myself. I realised I am so good at cutting people off, like I really need nobody. This guy hasn't done anything horrible to me, yet I found it easy to not find myself messaging / calling him. So I can only imagine how ruthless I can be if someone treats me horribly or does something horrible to me. I will drop them overnight. I will obviously be devastated, but that's the end, plus they won't even know if I am suffering or not, Ill just put on my happy face.
With this one it is just different. Also I am going to confront him about whether he is seeing someone or not, and if he is, I will cut him off too. I do not care what it does to me. I will.
I am so frustrated and angry man. I don't know what to do. EVERYTHING IS PISSING ME OFF.
I DISCOVERED SOMETHING ULTRA COOL. The only thing that sucks is that its partly related to him. So he being a guy, absolutely loves video games. So I gave into his request of playing video games with him. He downloaded Minecraft on my laptop, and we like shared a world. I honestly just didn't know how to start a new world because when he used to play I used to share screen and he helped me when ever I needed it. So like at night I called this friend of mine and he helped me out. I CAN PLAY IT ON MY OWN. Its honestly fun. Now it isn't something I want to get hooked on to, but it is surely something I want to do when I have absolutely nothing to do and feel all bored.
So today is the 28th of July. I knew it was approaching like sub consciously. But I was kind of too busy or not able to get a glance at the official date or what ever until4 PM today. Last night I was up till 3-4 in my bad mood, but then found a show, heard songs did make up and timepass and didn't realise where time flew. Today in the morning also when I woke up I barely had time for it to sink in that it is 28th July. I woke up, wasted a lot of time with breakfast and then had fun accessorising to go wit my mother and grandmother for her my grandmothers second vaccine doze. Which one more reason I realised time is absolutely flying and it has already been a month since she, and well as I took my first vaccine shot. And we know who called me the day I took my vaccine..
So yeah it has been a month since he has tried to reach me. He had called a month ago and I had ignored the call. After that he hasn't tried to reach. So anyways because I went out after so long I was like "Let's accessorize" so all morning I dressed up JUST TO BE A CHAUFFEUR. So that caused time to while away. Now I took them there alright, but while I waited in the car, I vibed to songs and stuff and decided to flex my rings a bit. They aren't real gold or diamonds or anything. I just have a think for nails and rings. My nails aren't long currently but they have a cream (almost white) paint on them. So I took an aesthetic pics with my fingers, ring, the nailpolish as well as my steering wheel and posted it. It looked SO good I REALLY REALLY wanted him to see it. Cause he likes driving too. I don't know why I wanted him to see it because idk if he likes rings and stuff on me, but he himself loves rings and always noticed tiny things like my nailpolish. Anyways lucky for me, he saw it!! Within the first 1-2 hours itsef. So maybe he hasn't deleted our chats but like I really don't get IG algorithms at this point. So I give up on reasoning. That made me damn happy (again, NO CLUE WHY). So then I was driving back, and my slow sad songs playlist was on. Now I don't know what exactly the trigger was but let me tell you all the possible sources. While driving I was making a lot of mistakes and mom and I were basically having a yelling competition because I was fine with my driving but she wasn't. Now we stopped at the signal right in front of his house. I suddenly kept quiet. The song was a typical loves sad song types, and then I just felt like crying. Which isn't like me.I never cry in public, but anyways I looked away and the tears were gone before they came, like I didn't properly cry but my eyes got teary and nose did the weird thing it does before I am about to cry. Luckily I curbed it. It wasn't the memories that came rushing, or the fact that it was 1 month. None of that, infact my mind was blank, and the realisation of being in front of his house just hit. More over I am close to chums, like a week ish away so that is another possible reason for me being so sappy. That's it. Then I came hoe, now have to fight the urge to sleep so I can take pics with my dog. His birthday is coming up so I am going to post a pic on Instagram for the first time after this break up. The last time I posted was like in the phase where he was aloof, distant and needed space(right before breaking up).

YOU ARE READING
How I am getting Through a break-up
Non-FictionHonestly, I love reading and figured out that writing stuff and putting it out there is liberating. So I decided to write down everything I feel at each point through my break up so that others going through the same ting can relate and I can probab...