Beauty and the Beast

The explanation

Published: 06. July 2021

Hermione found herself expecting a little hall with a table and some food on it. What she did not expect was a large hall with a long table that offered space for at least a hundred people. Maybe more. Even more odd was the sight of who, or actually what, were in the chairs at the table.

Countless objects that chattered away like normal human beings.

Hermione saw a broom, a clock, a mop, a stove, a telescope,...

She furrowed her eyebrows perplexed.

Was that a spoon sitting in a highchair?

"Voilà", said the chandelier proudly, imitation a horrible fake French accent. "Ze family of ze castle."

Hermione nodded slowly.
"It's...a beautiful castle."
She paused.
"Er- Lumière?"

"Oui?", said the chandelier and winked.

Hermione looked down at the chandelier and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Where are all of the humans?"

Lumière froze.
"Humans?"
He laughed awkwardly.
"Why would there be any humans here?"

"Well-"
Hermione looked back up at the long table.
"It's just hard to believe that spoons and clocks built it."

"That's what magic is here for", said Lumière with a tense smile and hurried forward. He put a hand to his mouth and whistled sharply.

The chatter died down and the objects looked towards the entrance where Hermione awkwardly stood.

"This is Hermione Granger", said Lumière loudly. "She will be staying with us for...now. I'm sure you'll all be excited to get to know here."

When Hermione started walking towards an empty chair, she could have sworn she heard Lumière mutter: "again."

"Hi", she said and felt her face turn pink when the objects wouldn't stop staring at her. It felt weird calling them 'objects' in her head, but she didn't know what other name to give them.
She sat down between a cookie jar and a glass ball, both seated in highchairs.

Before her a plate appeared, filled with strawberries and two croissants with raspberry marmalade. Hermione's stomach growled and she had to restrain herself from tucking in.

"Hello Miss Granger", said the cookie jar to her left and smiled.

Hermione swallowed a strawberry and smiled back unsurely.
"Hello...sir", she said, after realizing the cookie jar had a porcelain beard. At least that cleared up the question if it was a male or female cookie jar.

Could cookie jars even have a gender?

"How are you finding the castle?", asked the cookie jar amicably.

"It's very beautiful", said Hermione honestly. "I haven't seen anything like it before."
That was the truth as well.

The cookie jar chuckled.
"I haven't seen anything like this in my life either."

Hermione wasn't sure what to reply. As a cookie jar, he probably barely saw anything else besides this hall and the kitchens.
"What is your name?", she changed the topic and lifted her water glass to her lips.

"Mr. Biscuit."

Hermione choked and started coughing, trying to suppress a giggle.
"I'm sorry", she said and hiccuped when her giggles got worse. "It's just-"

"I understand", the cookie jar said with twinkling eyes. "Our names are very fitting."

Hermione nodded with an embarrassed look and set her glass down.
She froze.