World We Don't Know [Sanders Sides Unicorn AU]

*17*

WARNING!
This chapter begins with themes of suicide and self-hatred. If that is triggering to you please don't proceed or proceed with caution. Stay safe everyone.

Oriana stood in her room, near the large window with a silver dagger inches away from her chest. It was held up with magic, her golden horn glowing bright with white light. She'd paused when the door was opened. Blue eyes met the horrified faces of Roman and Remus who were frozen to the spot.

"Oriana..." Remus whispered, the unicorn princess's ears folding back.

"Are you going to stop me?" she asked.

"Will you allow us?" Roman countered calmly, slowly walking in, Remus closing the door behind them.

"This isn't an answer. It's a permanent way out that won't fix anything. Please, set the dagger down and talk to us," Remus counseled.

Oriana looked panicky, eyes flicking between the two Geode unicorns. She looked like she was about to continue, Remus and Roman bracing in case they needed to stop her. But instead she started crying. The dagger fell with a clatter and the former headstrong unicorn crumpled to her knees. Roman and Remus cantered to her side. Remus kicked the dagger away for safety measures before he laid down next to the weeping princess.

They didn't say anything at first, just let her lean on them as she cried. It was well over two hours before she  managed to calm down. The entire time the two royal unicorns not of the world remained by her side, Roman even exercising his levitation magic to get a brush and start brushing her mane. After she calmed down they both decided to start questions.

"Are you okay? Physically?" Remus asked.

"No. I'm not okay mentally, physically, or spiritually," whispered Oriana.

"Would you be okay telling us?" questioned Roman.

"I hate myself... well it's more so I hate my physical self," stared the princess. "I don't feel right. I feel like I'm an imposter, or I'm not in the right body. Every time I look in the mirror I hate what stares back. I just... I want to be happy with myself."

"What is it about you that makes you feel this way? Is it the hairstyle, coat color, eye color?" Remus inquired.

"It's my gender. I'm not a mare. I'm not a girl, I'm not a princess, I'm not some damsel that needs to be married off. I'm... I think I'm a stallion in a mare's body," explained Oriana.

"You're transgender?" Roman offered.

Oriana's eyes lit up and she whipped her head around. She had a look of disbelief in her cyan colored eyes, tears pooling again.

"There's a word for it?! It's a real thing others go through?!" she demanded.

"Yes there's a word for it. There's a word for nearly everything. There's cis which means you're happy with your birth assigned gender. Transgender is when you are a gender that conflicts with your genitalia. There's also nonbinary when you're neither there make nor female. Genderfluid when your gender is yes. Demi-boys and Demi-girls who are cis but just to the left and prefer they/them but will use she/her or he/him. We have friends who are nonbinary so we've had some experience. It's not a choice or a disease, it's natural to some people who simply weren't born in the right body," Remus said.

"Then I'm transgender! I hate being a mare, I'm to be a stallion! I've known since I was ten! But my father... he wouldn't allow it," Oriana was smiling, tears in her -his- eyes as hope was sparked in his chest.

"Well, why don't you try transitioning? We can brainstorm some things to help you," offered Roman.

"Yes! I already have a new name! Oriana is shit so I want to be called Prince Phoenix from now on!" The new prince leaped to his hooves, cantering over to his desk.

"Alright. And we can start calling you that and use he/him pronouns from now on. Do you want to get a hair cut or something? Just a touch up?" asked Remus, the twins also standing up.

"Oh yes please! I'd love orange tips instead of this stupid fucking gold! It reminds me of fire!" grinned Phoenix.

"Alright. Well we're not experts so we need to talk to someone for tips and advice. Why don't you spend a few hours going through to find the hair cut, find the right stuff, get hyped and we can meet up at the park in say, three hours?" Roman said, Phoenix nodded.

With that decided, Phoenix guided them to a secret door that led to a passageway. It allowed them to enter and exit without being caught and was apparently how Phoenix got out without guards following him. Roman and Remus made it out with little issue and stared down the sidewalk to figure out their next move.

"Sooooo... we have, like, no idea how to help a horse transition... should we ask for help from Nightingale, or a local or..?" Remus started.

"I don't think so, bro. Remember how much we had to beg Nightingale just to stay here? And this place doesn't seem very LGBTQIA+ friendly," said Roman.

They both snorted and started thinking about what to do. They were so lost in their own minds they missed the soft click of hooves. They stopped at an intersection where unicorns with carts and wagons were trotting along.

"Hi Roman! Hi Remus!" a voice shouted behind them.

Both stallions jumped and shouted in surprise. They whipped around to see Fynn standing behind them, happy smile, bright eyes, and short tail buzzing.

"Where were you two? Patton was worried about you two," asked the colt.

"We were just helping a friend. Say Fynn, do you know anything about transitions?" Roman answered.

"What are you doing?!" Remus hissed in his ear.

"Transitioning? You mean like for transgendered unicorns?" Fynn tilted his head.

"Yeah," nodded roman.

"Oh sure. I know several transgender unicorns. We're gonna meet one after our stay here! I can't wait for you to meet him. But yes, I know a lot about it cause Nightingale told me all about them. I know the spell to flip genders, I know the right way to cut hair and change the color, I even know how to change the hormones in the unicorn's body!" Fynn grinned, tail buzzing at hyper speed.

"Can you teach us?" Remus asked, picking up on Roman's plan.

"Well, I can teach you the easy stuff. Like how to cut hair and change the color. But not the other two. Even I'm not allowed to do that, only Nightingale is after he perfected it," said Fynn.

"That's good enough!"

So yeah. Big reveal, Oriana now Phoenix is transgender. Wonder what his transphobic father will think... and his mother... we don't know too much about either. Only a bit about his mother

I also did research about how to help someone about to commit suicide, and recalled what my therapist told me. Please everyone be safe and be there for your friends when they need you. Other than that, enjoy the story